I’m in a daze when he sets me to my feet, out of my mind with lust and desperate to feel him. When my back finally meets the blanket, the ground is soft, the night air crisp, and still we burn. Dark eyes fix on mine as he pulls the shirt off his back with his fist before lowering to kiss my lips. It lasts a blissful eternity as I explore his chest, straining to push his jeans over his hips. Satisfied with my progress, I dig my nails into the toned flesh of his ass as he thrusts his tongue in deep, so deep I’m drowning. Sparks fire off as he pulls back, tugging my shorts off. His eyes trail my body as he removes my boots one by one, pressing tongue-filled kisses on each of my calves before setting my feet on the blanket. In one swift move, he turns to sit, working on his own boots as I lift to kiss his bare back, running my fingers through his soft hair. In seconds he’s free of his jeans and between my thighs, rubbing his length against my slippery center before taking my lips in another kiss. And it’s there, on that blanket under a glittering moon, that we collide. We search and seek with words, needy hands, and tongues. When he pulls away, sinking lower, he sets on a path of devotion, covering every inch of my body. It’s healing and fulfilling, and no part of me is hiding from the scars I bear. I admire him beneath that blue light as he takes his time worshiping me.
“I’ve imagined this so many times,” he whispers softly, “so many times.” The ache in his voice stings as I gently clutch his head in my hands before he spreads my legs, sinking between them. My body shoots off the blanket with the first swipe of his tongue. I’m so close I can feel the coil. With another stroke, I’m calling his name as my thighs tighten around his face. He pushes them as wide as they will go, plunging his tongue in deep. In seconds I’m grinding on his face, stars gathering and colliding behind my eyes while I explode with them, coming harder than I have in my life. He drinks it in, his eyes on my reaction as he revives me on that blanket. And I feel reborn.
Rising to kneel, he cups the back of my knees, spreading me as he nudges my entrance.
“Look at me,” he commands, “and don’t you dare look away while I’m inside you.”
He pushes in slow, inch by delicious inch, until he’s buried deep.
Oh. My. God.
I can’t breathe as I battle with the full feel of him. It’s the most painful and delicious ache I’ve ever felt. When he pulls out and drives back in, I explode.
“Jesus, Katy,” he groans, eyes boring into mine. We’re there, in our place, the one we created. He drives his desire in again, his hips picking up as I continue to cry out his name.
“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs as he hits the back of me, drawing a gasp.
Hovering over me, he spreads me impossibly wider, rolling his hips, watching us connect. In shock and awe, I study as he thrusts in harder, further, drawing the reaction he wants before capturing my lips. His skin is on fire as I clutch him to me, begging him not to stop. He pulls me back to him while he sits, so I’m straddling his lap, our bodies slick as I pump up and down slowly, riding the wave. Overwhelmed by the feel, my mouth falls open as I gaze at his face. He’s looking at me with the same expression, his lips parted as he begins to move with me, and we both race to our end.
Together, we breathe the ultimate sigh of relief, and as our climax ripples between us, our eyes never part. Ocean blue meets amber sunset.
And it’s beautiful.
It’s healing.
It’s life-altering.
It’s inevitable.
We kiss and clutch for endless minutes before falling back on the blanket, exhausted, hands clasped, speechless, catching our breaths as we stare up at the moon.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Briggs
Naked, wrapped in the blanket, I press my foot against the cool porch, rocking us together as I cradle her in my arms. Her cheek lies against my chest as she whispers the rhythm of my heart back to me. I’ve never felt so much as I massage her with my palms. I can’t touch her enough, can’t bring her close enough. The last hour of my life has been a fucking dream. I’m unraveling with so much love, and I don’t know where to shed it, so I pour it on her, hoping she feels it where she needs it most.
Blowing out a heavy breath, I soak it in. I can’t imagine anyone passing through life without feeling something so powerful. It hurts and heals all at once.
“You going to say something? I keep waiting for the smart ass to emerge.” She looks up at me, letting the blanket slip off her shoulders, so it pools around her waist. “Chris?”
Words fail me as I look over at her, rapt. She can see it; I know she can. She knows me better than anyone else on earth. It’s a closeness I’ve never felt before, with any woman, and it’s soul deep. Thinking back through our time together, I know exactly what this is.
“Affirmation,” I say softly. “That’s what I’m thinking.”
She nods in understanding as she gently kisses my lips and rests her head on my shoulder.
“Don’t you dare go to sleep,” I order.
Her soft laugh comes out in a puff on my chest.
“Got plans for me?”
“I’m working on tactics at the moment,” I say with a smile.
It’s three o’clock in the morning, and we lay tangled on my mattress. I’ve had her countless times since she danced for me in the barn. Katy’s insatiable, and I’m using every part of that sexual depravity to my advantage. At the moment she rests, content in my arms, tracing the scars on my stomach.
“They burned you.” She looks up at me through dark blonde lashes. “That’s why you were screaming?”
“Talk about a way to kill a boner.”
“Sorry,” she says, pulling her hand away. Gripping her retreating fingers, I put them back where they were and kiss her temple. “No, I’m sorry. Yes, their unimaginative asses burned me.”
She crosses her hands on my chest and plants her chin on them. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good. I deal with things as they come, always have, and it’s worked for me so far.”
She gnaws her lip briefly. “That makes me feel weak.”
“It’s not meant to,” I whisper.
“I know. And you know what? I’m so happy you can get past these things the way you do.”
“Can’t get past you.”
“Me neither.”
“And now it’s gone.” I sigh.
“Hey,” she says, matter-of-fact. “I can bring it back in seconds, bet on it.”
“Think so?” I challenge, but she grips me in her hand, and there’s fire in the hole. I give her a well-deserved nod. “Well, all right then.”
It’s so strange that just last night she was staring at me from beside this same bed in a completely different way. The space between us has vanished entirely, and this setting seems far more natural.
I swallow. “Are you okay? What’re you thinking?”
Blue eyes drift over me. “Gavin was the only one, before…” she says softly, “and you’re my only after.”
“What?” I move to sit, and she plants a hand on my chest to hold me down. “You mean you haven’t—”
“Do you want me discussing you with him?”
My reply is instant. “Fuck no.”
“Okay, then we have an understanding.”
My whole body tenses. “This is so fucked up, Katy.”
“Not yet,” she begs. “Not yet, please don’t…not yet.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I flip through her confessions. I’m her only lover. Things aren’t going well for Captain Walsh, and it brings me a sick satisfaction that makes me hate myself a little more. Scottie was never mine to take, but I’d taken her anyway because I didn’t know how to stop myself.
Scottie isn’t mine.
Alarm filters through me as I grip her tightly in my arms in a protective hold.
She’s here, in my house, sleeping with me.
“He left me.” She speaks up, reading my thoughts, my heartbeat. “A month ago. I didn’t come running into your bed the minute it happened. I was fighting to reconcile with him before I found out your ass was being deployed. I left a hundred dollars’ worth of groceries sitting at a checkout and came here, guns blazing. Now you’re all caught up, and that’s all you’re getting.”