Now that she’d taken care of one need, others were begging for attention. Her gaze went straight past him, to the icebox, just as her stomach gave an embarrassing growl. She took the glass and gulped it down.
“I’ve mutton stew,” he said. “And bread and cheese. It ain’t much, but there’s lots of it. I had ’em send round as much as Esme could bake.”
Stew. Her mouth watered. But there were other more pressing concerns. “Will, why am I here? What’s been happening? I can hardly remember the last day.”
“It’s been four actually.”
“What?”
Raking a hand through his hair, he turned away from her. “Here. I’ll show you.” Snatching the small bone-handled mirror off his washstand, he held it close, as if he didn’t want her to see.
Sudden dread filled her. What was wrong with her? Her hands flew to her cheeks, but her skin felt normal. Snatching the mirror, she bought it up and stared at her reflection.
“My eyes,” she whispered. They stared back at her, the pupils ringed with bright bands of copper. Slowly she lowered the mirror. “But how…? What…?”
Will couldn’t meet her gaze. “God, I’m so sorry. I told you I ought never have come near you.” He looked up, heat and anger swirling through his eyes. “This is why. I nearly lost you. I nearly killed you!”
He turned on his heel and strode away, hands entwined behind his head. Lena risked another quick glance in the mirror. “I have the loupe?” she asked wonderingly.
He flinched as if she’d hit him.
“Will.” Putting the mirror aside, she crossed toward him, but he jerked away, circling the table and chair as if she were hunting him. Taking a slow breath, she put her hands on the back of the chair and leaned on it. “I don’t care. I told you I wouldn’t mind. If I could be with you—”
“You nearly died!” he snapped, eyes rolling with white.
And she realized then just how close it must have been. His hands clenched and he looked away, tearing his gaze from hers.
“How bad was it?”
“We didn’t think you were goin’ to make it,” he replied hoarsely. “I thought you were dyin’, before the fever broke. You don’t know what it did to me.” He rubbed his chest. “I went a little insane. I threw Blade across the room and brought you here. Honoria comes by every day but I couldn’t let her… Not ’til you woke…”
Her heart ached for the pain emblazoned on his face. “I survived.”
“Barely.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
His fists clenched and he turned his face away. “Yes, it does. You don’t know what this means.”
“What this means?” She shoved the chair out of the way. Then the table. It was ridiculously easy. “Is that you don’t have any more excuses.”
Will backed up against the cot, his hands held in front of him. “Damn it, Lena,” he growled. “I infected you! Your life ain’t gonna be the same.”
She stalked him. “I certainly hope not.”
“You don’t understand—”
“I understand perfectly.” Stopping in front of him, she pushed on his chest and he stumbled back onto the cot, a look of surprise on his face.
Staring at her hands in wonder, she couldn’t stop her smile. “How strong do you think I am now?”
“Why?”
“No reason.” I wonder if I could dangle a certain blue blood off the edge of the Ivory Tower?
The world had become a different place, full of blazing color, heat, and scents. Dust motes swirled through the shaft of light that lit them. She held her hands up, stirring them about. All her life she felt as though she’d been blind, with the details of the world around her only newly revealed.
“You see this as a curse,” she said, sliding onto his lap. The muscles in his thighs tensed. “I don’t. I know there shall be limitations. I know my time in the Echelon is done—it was done the moment you carried me out of that ballroom.” Seeing his mouth open, she pressed her finger against his lips. “I’ve been afraid for a very long time, Will. I’m not afraid now. Not even a little. Is that part of it?”
His gaze locked on hers. Mutiny burned there. He didn’t believe her.
“There’s nothing about my old life that I want to go back to,” she whispered, sliding her leg up to straddle his hips. The nightgown slid up around her thighs, and he sucked in a sharp breath, his fingers clenching in the blankets. Lena rocked against his hips, the rasp of the buttons on his trousers riding over her inner thigh.
“I want a new life,” she told him. “With you. I know that now.” Sliding her hands over his shoulders, she leaned closer, breathing in his delicious musky scent. “I finally know what I want. And I’m not afraid to admit it anymore.”
“Lena.” His hand curled against her bottom, as if in warning. “You’re verwulfen now. A slave in the Echelon’s eyes. You might never be able to leave the ’Chapel again.”
“Who says I need to?” She brushed her mouth against his. “Who says I ever need to leave this bed?”
Another gasped breath. But his eyes were burning now, turning hot with a flood of amber color.
“You’re mine, Will.” A smile of victory curled over her lips as soon as she saw the change. “You can’t hurt me anymore. You don’t have any more excuses. You can hate yourself all you want, but quite frankly, I’m rather impressed with the changes.”
As she leaned toward him, he leaned back. Stubborn, stubborn man. Lena followed him, kneeling over him and drinking in the sight of that tempting body.
“Ain’t you hungry?”
“Mmm.” She kissed at his mouth, licked it. “Yes, I am.”
Hands hovered at her sides. Fingers stiff, half reaching for her. “Lena, damn it. You weren’t well.”
“Anyone would think you a skittish bride on her wedding night.” A smoky laugh, her voice lowering. “Now that you can’t hurt me, think of all the things you could do to me.”
His gaze darkened. “You’ve just recovered from a fever.”
“I feel wonderful.” She bit his lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. “I feel better than wonderful.” She laughed, dug her nails into his chest. “I feel like I could do some very wicked things to you, right now.”
Hands clamped on either side of her hips, and he opened up to her, his mouth chasing hers. “Damn you, I thought I lost you.” A shudder ran through him. “I don’t have the words to say… I can’t fight it anymore,” he admitted hoarsely.
“Then don’t.”
Their mouths met, the taste of him hot and furious, full of denied hunger. It felt so right. She almost shuddered, pressing herself against him, desperate to get closer, skin on skin, to let him sink himself deep within her. Need swamped her. Furious, desperate need.
Grabbing the hem of her nightgown, Will shoved it up. They broke the kiss just long enough to get it over her head, then she was naked against him, the rasp of his shirt abrading her nipples, his hands clenching in the soft flesh of her bottom. Lena wove her fingers through his hair, grabbing fistfuls of the silky strands.A groan tore through her throat. She threw her head back as his hot mouth closed over the column of her throat. “Yes,” she whispered. Her eyes shot wide as his teeth grazed the smooth slope of her breasts.
Her hands half lifted to cover herself, but he caught them and held them wide.
“No,” he growled. “You promised me everythin’ I could do to you. And I owe you for that bashful bride comment.”
The domination in his voice thrilled her.
“Instinct,” she replied and threw her head and shoulders back. Light gleamed off her pale skin, her nipples hard and pink. A breathless fist twisted in her stomach at the look in his eyes.
“Do you like them?” she whispered.
Hard lips captured hers. The answer was evident against her thigh, the thick, heavy heat of him branding her intimately. His tongue drove into her mouth even as his hands caught her hips and ground her against him.
It felt so good. Lena whimpered, her hands sliding up through his hair, her nails raking his scalp. The laughter was gone, faded. In its place was a desperate insanity, a hunger, a need to consume. The empty ache between her thighs almost undid her. She scrabbled at his shirt, tearing it over his shoulders until only the briefest scraps of linen hung from his elbows, still buttoned at the wrists.
“Easy,” he growled into her mouth, hands capturing her wrists.
“No.” She caught the top button of his trousers, but he drew her hands away.
“Plenty of time.”
“Now,” she demanded.
This time it was his turn to laugh. Caging her in his arms, he crushed her against his chest, his mouth possessing hers. Long, slow, hot kisses. Enough to drive her crazy. She wriggled, wanting more, desperately drinking at his mouth.
“I…” He tumbled her onto her back, his hard body driving her back into the mattress as he pinned her. “Ain’t gonna rush this.”
“Who said you had a choice?”
Another smile. His special smile. The one that melted her deep inside. “I’m still stronger than you.”
Lena stroked her fingers down his abdomen. “And bigger.” Definitely bigger. She shivered. Splayed her hands over his chest. “I always wanted to do this.”
“Do what?”
“This.” She dragged her nails down his stomach, tugging at the waistband of his trousers. “When I was younger, after I first moved into the warren. I wanted to touch you. To taste you. I dreamed of you,” she admitted, heat flushing her cheeks.
Will met her eyes, his own sober. “I couldn’t.”
“I know.” She shrugged as if it didn’t matter.
“I wanted to.” Another devastating smile. “Damn it, Lena, you don’t know how much I wanted to. You drove me crazy. I ain’t never felt such a thing for a woman before and you were too young… Too… I thought it were only a game for you. I had to leave.”
“It wasn’t. Not truly.” She smiled, latching onto the few words that interested her. “You’ve never wanted a woman before?”
“Only you.”
A warm glow lit her from within. She tugged at his waistband, sliding her finger behind the button. It popped open and Will’s eyes narrowed.
“I’ve had enough wanting. Enough waiting,” she said.
“You’re impatient.”
But he ran the backs of his fingers over the curve of her breast, watching the movement with a rapt fascination. Lena felt that touch in other places. She shivered, writhing beneath him.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
“I am.”
Wide, slow circles around her breast, drawing ever nearer to her nipple. She arched under his touch, like a cat.
“You’re not. You’re teasing me.”
“Mmm.” Warm humor filled his eyes. “I think I know somewhat how that feels.”
The devil. She bit her lip and reached for him, but he reared away.
“No. Put your hands on the bed head.”
“I don’t want to. I want to touch you.”
He caught her wrist, forced her fingers around the iron bed head. “I weren’t askin’.” Taking the other hand, he repeated the motion. “Don’t make me tie you down.”
Tie her down? The thought sent a shiver of need straight through her. She considered the demand, then relaxed her hands around the iron. “Very well. Just don’t take too long.”
Will lowered his head, his lips skimming across her collarbone. A soft laugh whispered over her skin. “You’re not in the position to be making demands.”
“I’m—”
His mouth closed over her nipple, the heat of it scalding her. Her mouth dropped open. “Oh.”
“You like this?” He looked up at her, his tongue tracing the hardened bud, a devilish look in his eyes. Since when had he ever been this playful?
She licked her lips. “It’s nice. I suppose.”
Teeth grazed her soft skin. White heat turned her vision blank. When she could breathe again, he was laughing at her.
“I told you to keep your hands on the rail.”
Somehow she’d clenched her fingers in his hair.
“Bet you can’t keep ’em there.”
Lips firming, she grabbed the bar and curled her fingers around it. “I’ll bet I can. What do I win?”
“Hmm.” The murmur shivered over her skin. He licked her again, swirling his tongue around her nipple. “If you win… Perhaps I’ll let you return the favor.”