“Hey, sleepyhead.” Luke grinned at me. “Did I wake you up?”
“No,” I yawned.
“What do you want to do?”
“I think I should go home.” I averted my eyes and slid out of the bed. “My mom’s most probably wondering where I am.”
“Can’t you stay?”
“I stayed over last night.” I pulled on my tee shirt quickly and he held up my bra.
“Going braless?” He licked his lips.
“Well I’m just going next door.”
“You can go braless with me at any time.” He jumped up and pulled me towards him.
“I’ll see you later.” I rushed out of the door and Luke followed me down the stairs.
“Lexi, wait a sec.”
I turned around and he kissed me. I melted against him and kissed him back, trying to fight back tears.
“You know I love you right, Lexi?” He took my hands into his and rubbed them. The friction created a warm glow in me and I nodded my head. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy.”
“You’re lucky you know, Luke.” I looked around us. “Even though your parents aren’t rich with money, you’ve always had such a great upbringing, such a great happy family.”
“I know. I’ve been very lucky to have gotten the parents that I did. Others aren’t always so lucky.”
“Yeah, some people just shouldn’t be parents.”
“Lexi, I want you to know I’m not going to go to Boston.”
“But what about MIT?” I frowned as he changed the subject.
“I’m not going to go. I don’t need the degree. I’m doing fine.”
“But you’ve been so excited, Luke.”
“I don’t want to leave you here.”
“I can come with you.” I bit my lip and he shook his head.
“That’s not your dream, Lexi. I can’t make you go to Boston.”
“You can’t not go, Luke.”
“We can talk about it later, okay?”
“Fine.” I sighed. “We’ll work it out, but one thing I ask, Luke, is please never lie to me.” I leaned over and kissed him before I turned to leave. “Please never lie to me.”
I walked out of the front door and I saw him standing there, watching me. He watched me with caged eyes and, as I waved at him, I realized that he had been right about one thing. The hole in my heart was still there. Our love hadn’t fixed the emptiness inside. It had only covered it up and now I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision. I knew that I loved Luke, but at least Bryce had told me the truth about him and Anna.
Chapter 8
Bryce
“I really wanted to adopt Bongo myself, but my dad said no more dogs.” Anna laughed as she told me stories about her pets and I smiled back at her eager look. It was refreshing to be with someone who had no agenda and was open and honest.
“Bongo sounds like a handful.” I cleared my throat and coughed after I spoke.
“I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat, nervously. “I didn’t mean to bore you.”
“You’re not boring me.” I took her hand and squeezed it. “In fact, I appreciate you spending the evening with me.”
“You’re easy to talk to. Like Eddie was.” She looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes. “He was a cool guy. You know, he always used to call me the prettiest tutor in the world.”
“You really miss Eddie, don’t you?”
“No one ever called me pretty before.” She stared at her fingers, blushing. “Not that I expect it or anything. I know I’m a bit of a plain Jane.”
“But you’re gorgeous.” I protested quickly.
Anna laughed and flicked her hair back. “You don’t have to lie. I know I’m a bit of a wallflower. But he really made me feel pretty.”
My heart broke for her as she spoke. I’d never seen anyone with that little self-confidence before. Maybe she needed to trade a little with Suzannah, who had an over abundance of confidence.
“You’re a good guy, Bryce. I never really saw what Lexi saw in you in high school, but I think I get it now.”
“You think so?” I grinned and she laughed.
“Well you know.” She shrugged. “You were always such a jerk. It was like you thought you were King of the school.”
“Well break it to me easy, why don’t cha?”
“Sorry. I’m not one to mince my words.” She laughed. “I supported Lexi and her crush, though. I wasn’t really worried because I never thought you’d be interested in her.”
“She’s really liked me a long time, huh?”
“Yeah.” She nodded her head, despondently. “I can’t believe I did that to her.”
“Hey,” I grabbed her hands. “It took two to tango.”
“I guess.” She looked away and I felt awful for making her feel bad.
“Do you want another milkshake?” I slurped up the rest of my strawberry shake and she laughed.
“With some chili cheese fries?”
“You like chili cheese fries?” My mouth fell open.
“With lots of onions on them!” She laughed. “I’m not the sort of girl who worries about her breath.”
“That wasn’t what I meant.”
“Farts?” She looked puzzled and I laughed even harder.
“No. I meant most girls are watching their figures.”
“Oh.” She joined in with my laughter. “I’m not worried about it.”
“I can see why.” I looked her up and down and admired her figure. I wanted to kick myself as she blushed at my look over.
“Have you spoken to Lexi recently?” I wanted to punch myself for asking after I saw the disappointment in her face at my question.
“No.” She looked around the restaurant. “Did you want to ask me something about her?”
“No.” I wracked my brain for something to say. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else. Something Lexi can’t know about.”
“Oh?” She frowned and looked at me with a disconcerted look. “You didn’t cheat with someone else as well, did you?”
“No.” I frowned. Did she really think that lowly of me? For some reason it really hurt me to hear her ask that question. It was ridiculous that I should feel bad about it but I couldn’t stop the jab of pain that ran through me.
“Okay.” She wiped her brow. “I was about to say.”
“Do you want to know something? I feel like my mom is here with me.” I looked down, embarrassed at my honesty. I was scared that she would think I was crazy.
“You do?” She leaned towards me.
“Yeah. Does that sound strange? I feel like my mom is guiding me into doing something to change my life.”
“That doesn’t sound strange. I talk to my mom every night.” She looked away quickly. “I hope you don’t think I’m crazy.”
“I don’t.” I smiled at her gently. “I wish I could talk to my mom as well.”
“She’s my best friend. I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Lexi. I guess it’s ’cos you know how it feels.” She glanced at me quickly. “It’s really hard to lose a parent. I don’t think people get it until it happens to them.”
“Does the pain ever go away?” I clenched my hands, determined not to cry. I’m a man, I shouldn’t let every little thing bring me to tears.
“Not really. It lessens. But there isn’t a day that goes past that I don’t think of her. It gets hard sometimes, because I was so young when she died. I can’t always picture her face and it makes me scared, but then I just look at a photo.”
“I think about my mom every minute of the day.” I looked into my shake. “There isn’t a moment that I don’t hear her voice or see her smile. She was the only one who truly loved me from day one.” My throat choked up and I looked away.
“She’s not the only one who will ever love you though Bryce.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I think you of all guys won’t have a problem finding love.”
“You speak as though it’s in the future.” I laughed.
“You speak as though she’s the only one who’s ever loved you.” She replied to the question not spoken and I nodded my head.
“You know, Anna, you see yourself as a wallflower who no one sees and I see myself as the guy that everyone sees and no one really knows.”
“You’re the guy everyone wants to be, Bryce.” She tapped her fingers against the table. “And the guy every girl wants to be with.”
“Not if they knew what my life was really like.” I sighed. “No one would want to be me, or be with me, then.”
“You have Lexi.”
“I don’t know about that.” I sighed. “I don’t know if I ever really had her.”
“It’s like you were made for each other. It’s the story we all want to believe when we’re in high school. The popular quarterback falls for the shy, studious one. Haven’t you seen the movies, Bryce? Your reality is everyone’s fantasy.”
“But that’s the problem, Anna, don’t you see? This isn’t a movie and it’s not reality. We’re not in high school anymore. I’m far from the blonde jock that everyone wants to be with. I’m just a regular f**ked up guy. I’m nobody’s Prince Charming. In fact, I’m more akin to the evil wolf.”
“You’re one handsome evil wolf, Bryce Evans.”
“But I’m still a wolf, Anna. I’m still a wolf.”
“Yeah, maybe you are.” She smiled at me sadly and, once again, I was taken aback by her complete and utter honesty, even when she knew what she was saying may hurt me. I respected that about her.
“So tell me Anna. Why me?” I cocked my head and licked my lips.
“I suppose you think I’m the evil? The jealous kooky best friend.” She sighed. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I regret that night more than anything, it was a horrible thing to do. I’ve got issues with Lexi, but that wasn’t the way to deal with them.”
“I don’t think you’re evil. I’m the last one to pass judgment on anybody.” She laughed then, an energized, deep, from the gut laugh and I was happy to see that she was no longer down on herself. “That makes me feel better, Bryce. You are the last person to judge me for what happened.” She wiped tears away from her eyes.
“I want to ask you a question, Anna.”
“Sure.”
“Do you think I would make a good dad?”
“A dad?” Her eyes widened. “Is this a random subject change or what?”
“Yeah.” I laughed and leaned towards her.“Would you be happy if I was your child’s father?”
“Are you asking me to have a kid, Bryce?” She asked me, only half joking.
“No. I just wanted a third party view on how they think I would be as a dad.”
“But I don’t really know you.” She made a face.
“Well, from what you know?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t be sorry.” I sighed. It was true. She most probably wanted to tell me no. I mean, it wasn’t like she knew anything good about me.”
“I just don’t know you that well. Not everyone should have a kid.” She looked away from me.
“That’s true.” I looked at a Disney photo on the wall next to our table. “I think I’d be a good brother, though. I’d do whatever I can to make her happy. I’d be her family. It’s what my mom would have wanted. She’s old enough to go to kindergarten while I take classes and I can work from home. I can make this work.” I chattered excitedly.
“Wait what?” Anna interrupted me. “Brother or father? I’m confused here.”
I looked at her in shock. In my excitement I had spoken too much. “I can’t talk about it, Anna.”
“I’m so confused.” She shook her head. “Maybe you can just take me home?”
“It’s my sister.” I blurted out. I didn’t want to be alone. Not now. I needed to talk to someone. “You can’t tell anyone. But I have a little sister. I can barely believe it as I say the words. I want to adopt her.”
“Wow.
“She’s Lexi’s sister as well. My dad is the father and her mom is the mom.”
“What?!?!” Her jaw dropped and I realized that she didn’t know about the affair.
“She never told you?”
“There are many things that Lexi and I never shared,” she sighed. “So how old is your sister?”
“Four, I think, maybe five.”
“So this happened while we were in high school?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s funny, isn’t it? In high school we think that our lives are going to end if something doesn’t go our way. Little do we know that there’s a whole world waiting for us to show us that there’s not a lot that’s going to go our way.”
“That’s pretty deep.”
“For a girl from Jonesville?” She laughed and I stared at the length of her throat. And then the curve of her lips. She’s not the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, but she has a lot more character than I’ve ever witnessed.