I took it by the handle, its weight far heavier than the ounces it felt. “Oh.”
“I don’t know what’s on it—the USB drive—but mine was a video.”
My heart sank. The videos I’d seen of my father since he died were such a double-edged sword. “Oh, Paisley.”
She shook her head quickly and blinked back tears. “No, no. It was…good. Good to see him. I watched it before Jagger got up,” she whispered the last.
“Why?”
“I didn’t want him to see me cry. I’m better most days, really, I am. And I don’t want him to think that my tears mean I love him less. I just…I miss Will. Even after we broke up, and he was such an ass…” She laughed. “He’s always been a part of my life, and that hole he left, that’s not something that can be filled, you know?”
My fingers tightened on the small paper handles of the bag. “Yeah, I understand that perfectly.”
Her lips quirked upward. “It’s funny how they’re the ones that die, but we’re the ones who are changed.”
“Irrevocably.”
A look passed between us, just as it had the first time we met and understood each other on a level not many people could. “We on for Sunday night dinner?”
“Always,” I replied.
“I’d better get back before he tries walking on his own again. Two months in those casts did a number on him, but he’ll get it back.”
“Well, if he starts growling, you’re welcome to hide out here and throw food through the window so he’s fed.”
She laughed and hugged me before she left. As soon as the door shut, I took out my laptop and set it up on the coffee table, then put the bag next to it. Josh jogged down the stairs a few minutes later in MultiCam pants and a T-shirt.
“What did Paisley need? I can hop over before I go to my appointment.”
“No, she’s good. But she brought you something.” I picked up the bag. “It’s from Will.”
He paused mid step, then took a breath and walked over to me, gently taking the bag from my hand. He brought out the USB drive first and raised his eyebrows at me.
“Paisley said it was a video. Do you want to see it?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly and sat next to me on the couch as I booted it up on my computer.
“Ready?” I asked, my finger on the mousepad.
He nodded, and I tapped the play button.
Will’s face illuminated the screen, and I sucked in my breath. “He looks so—”
“Alive,” Josh answered.
I took his hand as Will sat in front of the camera and gave us an awkward wave from his old apartment.
“Hey. So I guess I should start with: if you’re watching this, then things did not go the way I planned, which definitely…well, sucks. I hope that I went doing something meaningful, and if not…well, let’s just pretend I did, okay?” He smiled, and my chest tightened like a vise on my heart. “But listen. There’s something I want you to have.”
Josh pulled a ring box out of the bag. “Oh, shit,” he whispered, and then popped the case open. Will’s West Point ring stared back at him and tears instantly welled in my eyes.
“I know you called me a ring-knocker on more than one occasion.”
“You were,” Josh muttered.
“And I was,” Will agreed as if he could hear Josh. “There was this one time we were on the flight line, remember? When you told me that I knew nothing about loyalty. That I wouldn’t last a day—”
“In a real platoon,” Josh finished in time with Will, then hung his head.
“Stop kicking yourself, because you were right. I wouldn’t have, not back then. But all those times we were studying, when you were catching up on my notes in the Advanced Course, I don’t think you realized that you were really the one teaching me.” Will sighed. “Once I knew what you’d been through on your first deployment, I watched you. Watched how you took on the world like you’d never been scarred by it. I watched how you loved Ember, how you’re protecting her even right now while you’re in Afghanistan and I’m just getting home from fixing her disposal.”
I whimpered, my hand flying to cover my mouth. I’d seen him right before he filmed this. He’d stood in my kitchen, helping me, talking to me, and died a few short weeks later. The unfairness of it was devastating.
“Being around you taught me the value of friendship, and I know you guys didn’t want to let me into your little club, but you did. And I’m thankful. I learned more about loyalty in the last two years from being with you guys than I did in four years at the Academy.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Okay, so tell Ember to take care of Paisley. I know that’s Jagger’s job, but I also know that what we do means we’re not around as often as we’d like to be. And you should probably marry her, because I’m telling you that you’re not going to find a better woman.”
My teeth sank into my lower lip as tears spilled down my cheeks.
“So, I guess, thank you for teaching me the things I needed to learn. Thank you for being an asshole and showing me my own…assholishness…I guess. You’ve taught me perseverance, and brotherhood, and from the reports we’re getting back here of those missions you’re flying over there, the rescues you’re making, well, I have a lot more to learn from you once I get there. Maybe I can talk you into going SOAR with me.” He grinned.