“Yes, Mom.”
Josh laughed, the sound clear and honest. “Good to see some things don’t change.”
“Yeah,” Evan said, “but some sure as hell do. What have you been up to? I see your mom from time to time, but she’s not exactly in a talkative mood.”
“That’s because she still hates you,” Josh answered. “Thanks, Mrs. White,” he said as she put our dinners in front of us.
“Hey, I never made you do any of that shit. Fuck, you were talking me into it most of the time.”
“What shit is this?” I asked, leaning around Josh.
“Oh no.” Josh leaned forward to block Evan. “No, no, no. There’s a reason I haven’t told you any of that.”
It should have been funny, and I faked the appropriate smile, but it stung something deeper. You’re so good at not telling me the inconvenient things.
“You don’t talk about us? Now I’m hurt. Where’s the love?”
“Plenty of love,” Josh said between bites. “I just have a different life.”
“Doing what?” Samuel asked, stealing a fry from Josh’s plate. I bit into my own, savoring the salt.
Josh looked my way and then back to Samuel. “I fly helicopters for the army, now.”
“No shit?” Evan remarked. “What? Not getting enough thrills from the bike, you gotta take it to the sky?”
You have no idea. I kept my thoughts to myself as I devoured my burger, hungrier than I’d initially thought. Besides, I wasn’t giving Josh an excuse to shut them up. I’d learn way more about this part of his life by being quiet than I would by asking questions.
“Something like that,” he answered as their pies were delivered.
“Is that where you got the hardware?” Tom pointed to Josh’s air cast, and I paused, my French fry suspended an inch from my lips.
“Something like that,” he repeated.
“Yeah, okay. Well, do you want to something-like-that with us for a little ride?”
Josh’s eyebrows shot sky-high. “Tonight?”
“No, next week when you inevitably disappear under whatever rock you’ve been hiding under for the last eight years. Yes, tonight.”
I polished off my burger and waited for Josh’s answer.
“I’m kind of on a date, here, guys.” Josh’s answer was weak, even to my ears.
“She gets you the rest of your life. We’re just asking for a couple hours. Besides, you should see the bike the Klemensky brothers put together. It’s fucking fast.”
“They’re like twelve, what the hell are they doing working on bikes?”
Evan laughed. “They were twelve eight years ago, man.”
“Right. Of course.”
“Well, what do you say? You want to see it?” Tom pushed.
Josh asked me with raised eyebrows.
“Just a ride?” I asked, trying not to sound like a nagging fiancée.
“Just a ride,” he promised. “I’ll even have you home by curfew. Besides, now you’ll get to see what you keep asking about.” The naked pleading in his voice was my undoing. Weren’t we here for him? To give him a little respite from the hell we’d been living in for the last month?
I scoffed. “Asking once a year is hardly always.”
“Is that a yes?” Excitement lit his eyes in a way I hadn’t seen since before he left on the deployment.
“Okay. Just a ride.”
“Just a ride.” His smile was breathtaking.
“Just a ride!” the other three said in unison, saluting me.
I laughed, unable to keep a serious face. Josh paid the bill, and we headed out to the bike. I put on all my protective gear, thankful that it was designed so I didn’t sweat to death.
“What are you thinking?” Josh asked, strapping my helmet. I was more than capable of doing it myself, but I loved how protective the gesture was.
“Oh, there’s a lot going on in here,” I answered.
He sat sideways on the bike and tugged me between his legs. “Enlighten me.”
I made sure the other guys couldn’t hear from where they were parked. “You have never once mentioned these guys.”
His smile faded. “There’s good reason for it. Good reason that I don’t search them out when we’re here, and I don’t keep in touch.”
“But you’re friends?”
“They were some of my best friends. They also sat in the back of cop cars with me so often that by sixteen we were court-ordered not to be within fifty feet of each other until we turned eighteen.” Josh shrugged. “Small town.”
“You trust them?”
“With everything but you,” he answered.
“Why is that?”
His arms wound around my back. “I don’t trust anyone with you. Hell, it killed me to ask Will to come over and…” The light in his eyes died swiftly as he realized what he’d said.
“Fix the disposal?” I finished for him. He nodded. “You can talk about him. It’s okay.”
“No. I can’t. That’s one of our problems, right?”
“We have more than one?” I whispered.
His mouth snapped shut. “Nothing we can’t get past once I’m back to normal.”
It was a roundabout way of admitting that he wasn’t okay, so I’d take it. “Okay. When you’re ready.”