My muscles tremble as I place my bag and the folder in the corner of the room. Tomas pulls a blanket out of his bag and spreads it in the middle of the dust-coated floor. Since the windows are boarded up, we leave the flashlight on as we sit down. I lean my head on Tomas’s shoulder and snuggle close. There is so much we need to talk about, decisions to be made—but now that I am relatively safe, fatigue makes it hard to speak. Tomas doesn’t seem to want to talk either. Instead, he just holds me. I don’t know how long we sit like this. Ten minutes? Twenty? All the while I keep my eyes closed and imagine us back in Five Lakes, in a time and place that made sense. But as much as I try to hold on to the idea of us sitting near the fountain in the Five Lakes square, surrounded by all things familiar, the images of Michal’s bloodless face, Kerrick’s and Marin’s corpses, and Enzo’s burned body will not stay out of my mind.
When I shiver, Tomas holds me tighter and asks, “Are you okay?”
I shrug and burrow closer, but Tomas won’t allow me to hide. His hand lifts my chin so that I am forced to look at him. In his eyes I see the same sadness I feel. But, I also see love. His lips brush mine. Once. Twice. The gentleness of his touch makes me want to cry.
Tomas leans back and looks at me again. His fingers brush my cheek, wiping away a tear I wasn’t aware had fallen. When his lips find mine again, they are still gentle, but instead of kindness, the kiss shimmers with desire. I snake a hand around the back of his neck and pull him closer, deepening the kiss.
There is nothing more I want than to feel this way forever. I allow myself two more kisses before easing away from his touch. If it were just about this moment, I would allow myself to get lost in Tomas’s embrace. If it were just about us, I would forget what tomorrow could bring. But I want a future that can happen only if we are successful in what we intend to do.
My breathing comes fast and my pulse pounds as I look up at Tomas, worried he’ll be upset that I pulled away. But his face is filled with tenderness as he asks again, “Are you okay?” The same question, but this time he’s asking about us.
I swallow hard and nod. “Are you?”
My breath catches when he doesn’t answer right away. Tomas webs his fingers through mine, holds my hand tight, and says, “It’s only been eight months since we left Five Lakes, but it seems longer. So much has happened. Some of it we understand, and much we don’t. But there are two things I am certain of. I love you and you love me. We’ll figure out what that means for us after all this is over. Until then, I’m grateful we’re here together. Okay?”
I lean up to kiss him. Then I grab the flashlight, walk over to my bag, remove the weapons, and dig out the pulse radio. The message light is on. The first voice I hear when I press Play is Raffe. He sounds raspy and is speaking so softly I have to strain to understand him.
“Professor Holt called a meeting for everyone in the residence. The medical team thinks Enzo will recover.”
One of the knots inside me eases.
“We’ve been given an order to report any sighting of you to the Safety officials or to Professor Holt. Any student who aids in your capture will be rewarded with the presidential internship and a special independent study with Dr. Barnes.”
Tomas takes my hand and I squeeze his tight. All students, including my friends, have now been given two reasons to betray me. If Stacia’s intent in testing Enzo was to help instead of hinder, I doubt she is still willing to aid in my plan. Not with an easier path to success in front of her. Frowning, I rewind and replay the last part of Raffe’s message. “Stay safe. Let me know if I should meet up with Stacia. I’ll do what I can to join you tomorrow.”
The recording ends but the light doesn’t go dark, which means there is at least one more message.
“Raffe didn’t ask you to tell him where we’re hiding.” Tomas frowns. “Did you already tell him how to find this house?”
I shake my head. “I told him about the street, but not which house we’d be in. He didn’t ask to confirm the location in case the signal was intercepted.” I changed the frequency to one I believe is not typically used, though there is always a chance another pulse radio within reception range could pick up the signal. But there is one person who I know has a pulse radio tuned to the same signal. I push Play again and hear her voice.
“I got Raffe’s message. Enzo must have decided to find the recording. Sorry about that, but I guess it’s better to know now if he can be trusted. Right?” Stacia’s tone is matter-of-fact. “Raffe, if you get this I’ll meet you first thing tomorrow morning so you can tell me where to find Cia. See you all soon.”
The light goes dark as the message ends. Stacia wants to know where to find me. In order to join in the fight or to report me to Professor Holt and receive her reward for that betrayal?
“Now what do we do?” I ask. “I don’t know if we should work with Stacia, and I can’t leave a message for Raffe without her getting one, too.” Will Raffe believe she is supposed to come here with him tomorrow? “I don’t know how to tell him to make sure to leave her behind and not let her know where he’s going.”
“You can’t.” Tomas looks at the radio on my hand. “Stacia knows too much to be left behind. She knows who is on our side and who our targets are. If we cut her out of the plan now, she will probably tell Professor Holt and Dr. Barnes everything she knows. By leaving her behind, we’ll decide her loyalties for her. And let’s face it, we need her.”