Closing my eyes, I take deep breaths and think about these people one by one.
Tomas. Just focusing on him makes me feel more grounded. I love and trust him without reservation. He might not like the decision I have made to end The Testing using the president’s method, but my heart wants to believe he will stand at my side. At the very least, he will not reveal my plans to anyone who might act against me.
Stacia is my friend. She is also assigned to the Medical field of study. The field that is headed by one of the people on the president’s list. Stacia is focused, strong-willed, and more than capable of handling whatever comes her way. The Testing and her Medical Induction prove Stacia will do whatever it takes to be successful. Can she be trusted? Under normal circumstances, I’m certain I would say no. But if she can be convinced that the president’s assignment will aid her own advancement, she can be counted on to help. And I am certain she would approve of the president’s determination that the ends justify the means.
I draw stars next to both names and move on to the others.
Raffe has already shown he can turn deadly, and the unemotional way in which he disposed of Damone tells me he is not squeamish about doing what needs to be done. But I do not know what secrets he holds or what he would do to protect them.
Brick has also shown his ability to wield a weapon. If I close my eyes, I can see his bullets tearing into the mutated humans that he thought threatened me. The Testing taught me Brick is willing to place faith in my observations when it comes to passing a test, but he’s the son of two University graduates who believe in The Testing. Brick’s parents wanted him to come to the University, so Brick obeyed their wishes and studied in order to be selected. I am not sure he would be willing to ignore what he was taught by his parents on my word alone. In fact, I am almost certain Brick would not see reporting my actions as a betrayal, but as the act of a good citizen. I draw a line through his name.
I shiver as a breeze rustles through the nearby tree, and I rub the scars on my arm. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the flash of a smile and the intense gaze of green eyes.
Will.
Someone I have not added to my list, but one who can kill. From experience, I know Will to be cunning and resourceful, and capable of a ruthless determination. He made the choice to kill other candidates who did nothing more than stand in his way for a spot at the University. Will he be willing to eliminate the people who gave him what he fought so hard for? I think about the Will I first met. The one who joked with his twin. Who, under the most pressure-filled circumstances, found ways to make the people around him laugh. It was when his brother failed to pass the first test that Will began to change. He felt alone. He was desperate to prove that he could survive without his brother. That the sacrifice of that lifelong anchor was not for nothing.
Does that make his betrayal less heartbreaking? No. But now that I have my memories back, I remember something else. A conversation we had after the tests were over. Despite the callousness of his actions, he took the time to learn the name of a girl he’d killed. Perhaps he never thought her death would matter to him as more than a method of achieving his goal. But it did. I can’t forgive him for his actions, but there was something about the way he talked of her that makes me wonder if Will wouldn’t make a different choice during The Testing now.
I shake my head and mentally draw a line through Will’s name as Professor Holt steps out of the residence entryway and calls to us. When we gather near, she thanks us for our patience and tells us that we are free to go back to our rooms or to any of the University buildings. However, until the investigation into Damone’s disappearance is complete, no student is allowed to leave campus.
Relief fills me. If they had found something incriminating in my rooms or in the rooms of the rebel students, I doubt they would allow us to just go about our business. Foreboding returns as I realize there is an equal chance Professor Holt and her team did find something and that they are just using that information to focus their attention on the student or students who are now under suspicion. Most of my fellow students seem unconcerned as they follow Professor Holt back inside the building. Worry that my movements might be watched even more closely makes me consider doing the same. But sitting inside will not help my brother. So instead I head for the bridge, to find Tomas.
The officials who were guarding the bridge are gone as I pass onto the main part of campus. The Biological Engineering residence is to the northwest. When I get close, I see students milling around the building. They too must have had their rooms searched. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I look for Tomas and finally spot him. He is listening to a girl who is trying to hold his attention. But I can tell the minute he sees me. His shoulders sag with relief, and his smile transforms from one of kindness to one filled with love.
As much as I want to cross the space between us, I turn and head toward the northeast, hoping that Tomas will understand and meet me in the place where we have met in the past. I take a less direct path to better determine whether anyone is following me now that the search of the residence has been completed. Fewer people are wandering around the campus, which makes me feel more conspicuous than usual. Especially since I am alone and those whom I do pass are walking in groups of three and four. I wave as if not caring who sees me and hurry along the walkways until I reach my destination.
I enter the small brick building that was once used to house genetically altered roosters. Once scientists had successfully boosted the roosters’ immune systems and filtered out the mutations caused by wartime chemicals, the roosters were distributed to new farms and this building was cleaned in preparation for a new use. And now, because of the building’s small size, only students seeking privacy have been interested in using the space.