'It could be your opportunity to make a real change. What sort of redundancy payment would they give you?'

'I don't know. Redundancy is always a risk in the City. Worrying about it could make you neurotic. You'd never withstand all the pressures if you let vague doubts about the future get to you. The firm's IT Unit is actually quite efficient. The current arrangement may well be the most cost effective.'

'Maybe, but you'll have a major influence over any decision. With Peter out of the way you can probably make the arguments for and against look as good or bad as you want. Is there anyone except Peter who knows enough to challenge you?'

'He's not completely left the scene, and he could be back in a year's time. Contracting out the IT services could take longer to arrange than that.'

'You must control developments as far as you can. The big questions are do you really want to make a complete break and go into business for yourself, and, if so, doing what? A hotel for instance?'

'You're going miles and miles ahead of me. Why a hotel, except that you're keen on the idea? Another job that makes use of my current skills might be the best thing. Anyway, what about the people who work for me?'

'They'll find other work, or take redundancy like you.'

'That may not be so easy for some of them - they're not all ideal employees.'

'You and that friend of yours in Personnel will do what you can for them. You have to think of what's best for you. Even the flowers in the meadow compete with one another to have room to grow.'

The possibility of me setting up a small hotel had somehow become an occasional topic for speculation. Perhaps I had unintentionally encouraged him in the idea by telling him about Georges and the Hotel des Amis, and about a weekend I had spent in Brighton some months after starting work with Lindler & Haliburton, driving down in the then newly acquired Vauxhall to stay in a pleasant bed and breakfast that advertised in the gay press. Nothing exceptional happened, but somehow everything was so enjoyable, the guest house proprietors were friendly, and for once, there and later in a gay bar, I fell easily into conversation with interesting people. I picked up a handsome, sensitive, intelligent Canadian in a club on the Saturday night, - only a one-night stand but somehow an exceptionally happy, satisfying one- night stand - and in the morning when we sat together at the breakfast table, the man who served us discreetly pointed out, with a gentle encouraging smile, the note at the foot of the breakfast menu saying that additional meals would be charged at so much per head.




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