Gripping her head more, I pulled her back to me and sucked in her bottom lip. She was reaching to remove her pants, and I leaned over to my nightstand to pull out a condom. When I looked back, she was completely naked and ready, so beautiful and so full of fire. I knew I should stop, slow things down. But I just couldn’t do it. I nodded to her, making sure this was what she wanted. And then she took the condom from me and finished putting it on me herself.
Within seconds, we were connected, our bodies completely in sync, and Nolan’s eyes staring deep into mine. I reached up to grab her face between my hands and kissed her tenderly, slowly, and passionately as we made love to one another, the faint sounds of Christmas music drifting up to my room from downstairs. Time felt irrelevant, and our messy, recent past seemed so, too. All that mattered was now, and moving forward. Feeling her, smelling her, being able to touch her, and hear her, share my secrets with her—that’s all I wanted in life.
“I love you,” I breathed into her, “so f**king much.”
I felt her body shake a bit, and noticed the small tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. I reached up to stop them with my thumbs, wiping each away and stroking her face tenderly. “Don’t cry, Princess. We’re okay. Everything’s okay. I have you, and I’m not letting go,” I said, kissing her harder now, like I was laying claim to her and binding us together forever physically.
“I love you, too. You’re my everything,” she said, her voice cracking as she spoke. I pulled her close to me, and we moved together—here in the same room I’d first confessed my feelings to her. We were kids then, our problems such adolescent bullshit. We’d grown so much. And we’d taken major f**king steps backward. But here we were, back to us. And there was no way I was ever letting go. Our bodies were wet with sweat, and our hearts were racing, as we both climbed together until I felt her body shudder, and I followed her, holding her tightly, and refusing to let go until I felt her body still with exhaustion.
I left my bed for a quick shower and turned out every light in the house, setting my alarm to wake us up at sunrise, hoping like hell we’d beat the rest of the house. But I wasn’t letting Nolan leave my bed tonight. Her dad could beat my ass in the morning, and I’d deserve it. But I didn’t care. She wasn’t leaving these arms. I pulled my blanket up over us as I lay next to her and held her close, the beat of her heart the only sound I could hear.
My lullaby.
Nolan was stubborn about waking up in the morning. I knew my pops wouldn’t care, but I was pretty sure hers would, so I started trying to wake her around 5 in the morning, well before the sun came up.
“Mmmmmmm,” she brushed at her hair, flinching at my breath as I blew lightly at her face. “More sleeeeep.”
She rolled over and pulled the blanket tightly over her head. So damned adorable. I pulled the corner of the blanket up and snuck underneath next to her, lifting it slightly and nestling my nose right against hers. “What do they call those? Eskimo kisses?” I said, nudging her cheek then with my nose.
She scrunched her face, still keeping her eyes tightly shut. “Ewwwww, your breath stinks,” she said, raising her hand up to pinch her nose shut. I pulled it away and breathed at her again, just to tease her. “Gross!”
She peeked one eye open at me then. “Popeye,” I teased her. She smacked my bicep and pulled the blankets up around her nose. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll brush my teeth. But youuuuu have got to get up.”
I yanked the blanket from the bed, leaving her there half exposed and uncomfortable while I went into the bathroom. “That was a jerk move,” she grumbled.
“Yeah, well, desperate times call for desperate measures, Princess,” I said, tapping on my wrist to signal what time it was. This seemed to get her moving quickly as her eyebrows shot up a bit, and she jumped from the bed, pulling up her pants and running her fingers through her hair.
“Shit, do you think anyone’s awake?” she asked.
“No, I’m pretty sure we beat the house up,” I mumbled through my toothpaste-filled mouth. Nolan cracked the door open then and listened while I finished getting ready.
“Shhhhhh,” she whispered over her shoulder. “I think we’re good.”
I followed Noles down the hallway and to the stairs, poking at her sides and forcing her to stifle giggles. We made it into the kitchen just in time to see Jason sliding through the front door, coffee in hand. I slid a mug over to Nolan, and she pretended to have just finished drinking when I picked it up from her, and asked her if she wanted a refill with a wink. “Yes, please,” she said, grinning at me behind Jason’s back.