Wordlessly I kissed him, pouring every bit of hope and happiness and love inside of me into it. The light dimmed as he lowered me back onto the bed, and for the f irst time in a long time, I was sure that everything would be all right.
When morning came, we were both somber. After I spent twenty minutes struggling to fold and stuff everything I thought I might need into my suitcase, Henry waved his hand and somehow managed to pack my things for me in a matter of seconds. I pretended not to be jealous, but in-wardly I hoped that Ava knew how to do the same. If she didn’t, we would be spending half our time trying to close that sucker and make everything f it, and we had much more important things to focus on.
We met my mother, Walter, James and Ava in the foyer of the guest wing shortly after. Henry and I walked side by side, his arm around my shoulders, and I worried he wouldn’t be willing to let go. He’d barely spoken a word since I’d closed the zipper on my suitcase, but every time our eyes met, he gave me a small, pained smile, as if trying to prove he wasn’t upset with me. It helped, but it didn’t stop the stab of guilt whenever I thought about the possibility that I might not come home.
Ava looked like hell. Her eyes were red and puffy, and for the f irst time since I’d met her, her hair wasn’t brushed.
Her clothes were loose and the sort I wore to bed, not the tight, revealing tops and skirts she usually wore. She stared at the ground with her hands shoved in her pockets, and she didn’t so much as blink when her father moved past her to join me.
“Are you ready?” said Walter, and I nodded. Henry dragged my suitcase behind him, and Walter set his hand on Ava’s shoulder. “My dear, would you be so kind?” Ava f inally raised her eyes from the f loor, and a moment later, my suitcase disappeared. “It’s safe,” she said when I opened my mouth to protest. “You’ll have it when we get there.”
“Where exactly are we going anyway?” I said, and James handed me an envelope made of heavy parchment, the sort people must have used a thousand years ago.
“Rhea moves around a lot,” he said. “She’s stayed in the same place for the past few years though, so you might get lucky and f ind her before she moves on. I’ve written down directions. If you get there and you can’t f ind her, Ava knows how to contact me.”
I glanced at Ava. Was she even up for this? She shuff led her feet and refused to meet anyone’s stare, and she certainly didn’t look like she was about to go on a whirlwind trip to f ind a Titan. As much as I wanted to try to shake her out of it though, she had every right to act this way. Nicholas was gone, and for all I knew, she would never see him again.
James seemed to have the same idea I did. He eyed Ava, his mouth hanging open like he was about to say something, and then he paused. “Maybe I should come, too,” he said. “To make sure you f ind her.”
“No,” said Walter. “The fewer who participate in the planning, the less likely we are to win.” I offered James a small smile. “It’s okay. If we need you, we’ll get ahold of you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, either. You’re obviously needed here.”
While I wasn’t lying, my reasons for wanting him to stay had nothing to do with whether or not Walter needed him. James was the f irst person Persephone had been with behind Henry’s back, and even though Henry knew how much I loved him, I had no intention of giving him a reason to question it. Unfortunately for now, James would only become another obstacle, and Henry and I had had enough of those lately.
Henry let go of me long enough to let my mother embrace me, and I wished with everything I had that this wasn’t the last time I would see her. If Rhea was anything like Cronus, there was no telling what could happen, and whether I wanted to or not, I had to prepare myself for the worst.
“Take care of yourself, sweetheart,” murmured my mother, and she brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”
My face grew warm. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart.”
She relinquished me to James, who gave me an awkward hug and a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Stay safe. If you ever get lost, don’t hesitate to have Ava contact me.”
“I won’t.” I paused and leaned in closer to him so only he could hear me. “I choose Henry. After I get back, I’m staying with him all year. I’ll still be your friend, but Henry’s my husband, and I love him. And I will always choose him.”
Something I didn’t recognize passed over James’s face, and he nodded. “As long as it’s your decision, I’ll respect it,” he said, and even though I suspected that would change the moment he thought Henry wasn’t being the sort of husband James believed he should be, for now I didn’t press the issue.
“Thank you,” I said, and James kissed me lightly on the cheek, a silent goodbye to me and an eternity of could-have-beens.
And then it was Henry’s turn, and he gathered me up, burying his nose in my hair. For a moment, his arms were so f irm around me that I thought he wouldn’t let go, but eventually he did. I took his hands.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise,” I said, even though I knew that was a vow I might not be able to keep.
“Just remember what we have to look forward to, all right?”
“Please do not go,” he said quietly. “I will do whatever you ask of me, but I simply do not know what I would do if something happened to you.”