"I'm afraid you are right"--said Maryllia, with a little sigh; "It is very sad and discouraging, but I fear very true."
"It's nothing of the kind!"--declared Cicely, with quick vehemence-- "It's just absolute nonsense! It is! Ah, 'never shake thy gory locks at me,' Sir Moon-Calf!" and she made a little grimace across the table at Julian, who responded to it with a complacent smile--"You can talk, talk, talk--of course! every man that ever sat in clubs, smoking and drinking, can talk one's head off--but you've got to LIVE, as well as talk! What do you know about self-indulgence being 'paramount,' except in your own case, eh? Do you think at all of the thousands and thousands of poor creatures everywhere, who completely sacrifice their lives to the needs of others?"
"Of course there are such--" admitted Adderley; "But---"
"No 'buts' come into the case," went on the young girl, her eyes darkening with the earnestness of her thoughts--"I have seen quite enough even in my time to know how good and kind to one another even the poorest people can be. And I have had plenty of hardships to endure, too! But I can tell you one thing--and that is, that the Christian 'myth' as you call it, is just the one thing that makes MY life worth living! I don't want to talk about religion--I never do,- -I only just say this--that the great lesson of Christianity is exactly what we most need to learn."
"In what way?" asked Julian, smiling indulgently.
"Why,--merely that if one is honest and true, one MUST be crucified. Therefore one is prepared,--and there's no need to cry out when the nails are driven in. The Christian 'myth' teaches us what to expect, how to endure, and how at last to triumph!"
A lovely light illuminated her face, and Maryllia looked at her very tenderly. Adderley was silent.
"Nothing does one so much good as to be hurt,"--went on Cicely in a lighter tone--"You then become aware that you are a somebody whom other bodies envy. You never know how high you have climbed till you feel a few dirty hands behind you trying to pull you down! When I start my career as a singer, I shall not be satisfied till I get anonymous letters every morning, telling me what a fraud and failure I am. Then I shall realise that I am famous!"