His eyes narrowed. “Riley?”
“Oh, hell no.”
That brought another heart-attack grin across his face. He closed the distance between us without touching me, whispering in my ear. “You like it when I touch you.”
Boom. Turned on. Shit. Was this guy exuding pheromones, or did I simply see him and think, yes, sex is good. Now. I couldn’t stop the smile that sent mixed signals, but I took another step back. “Yeah, that’s the problem.”
“What’s up? Do I get an explanation? Or is it just creepy to want your brother’s coach? I happen to think the coach aspect is pretty hot.”
“Hot? Everything about you is hot. It’s just . . .” Crap. When he cocked his head to the side like that, he exposed the side of his neck. I knew how that neck felt under my teeth, how it tasted. I knew how he tasted. My lips tingled and parted.
“Don’t look at me like that and tell me no. That’s not fair.” His voice strained behind the teasing.
I shoved my hands into my coat to keep from putting them on him. “I just dumped Riley, and moved back here, and there’s my family, and a new school . . .”
“So no new flame to add to that?”
I flushed, despite the freezing temperatures inside the arena. “I just need to sort myself out.” His face fell. Crap, I did not just it’s-not-you-it’s-me him, did I? I stepped closer, despite my better judgment, putting my feet between his skates. They made his impossible height even more gigantic to look up at. “It’s not that I don’t want you.” The skin of his neck was begging to be touched, and I gave in, running my hands over his stubbled jaw before I stroked my fingertips down his neck. “Because I want you more than I should.” The whispered admission tumbled free before I could stop it. “I just don’t want to drag you into the incredible wreckage of my life.” And I wasn’t sure I’d survive if I turned out to be just another one of the girls chasing him. Was he worth that risk?
He laughed through his confusion. “So you’re saying slow? Or no?” He raised his arms and put his hands back against the glass. “Because you’re killing me here.”
“I need you separate,” I tried to explain, focusing way too much on his mouth for my own peace of mind. That mouth had been on my skin, all over my body.
“Separate from?” He kept his hands on the glass like they were glued to the surface.
“Separate from the crap. Separate from all the bad shit that’s happened in the last month.” How could I explain what I didn’t understand myself? “I don’t want a rebound, or a quickie in your dorm room.”
“I don’t live in the dorms.”
“Not the point, Josh.”
His eyes were dark. I knew that look. That look would have me peeling off my clothes in spite of the crowd around us. “Forget what I just asked you, because I don’t want an answer.” His voice dropped, and his head bent toward me. “I want you. Not a minute ticks by that I don’t crave the sight of you, the feel of you. But I get it.”
“You do?”
A wry smile came across his face. “I don’t want to screw this up, either, December.”
“Why do you do that? Call me December? Everyone except Grams calls me Ember, since before high school.” I craved the sound of my name on his lips. He made it sound like pure sex and the sweetest prayer.
He leaned down, brushing just close enough to my ear that I could feel his breath, but he wasn’t touching me. Chills raced down my neck to my spine and set my body on fire. “Because it means I have a part of you no one else does. Like my own little secret side of you.”
He had just about every part of me as it was.
“Josh!” the living Barbies called to him from the nearest bleachers. “We came to watch you play!” They waived a huge blue and gold paw in the air.
He gave them a head nod. “Thanks, girls.”
He was still playing? “You play for the Mountain Lions?”
“We have a game tonight. Want to watch?”
The hopeful tone of his voice nearly broke my resolve. Almost. “I need to get Gus home and check on my mom.”
“Okay.” He reached out and brushed a stray strand of auburn hair back behind my ear. “Another time.”
I couldn’t say anything that wouldn’t come out touch me now.
“You’re swimming in a pretty big shit fest. Just don’t forget to ask for help when you need it. Don’t carry this all on your own.”
Why couldn’t he be an ass? Why did he have to say the most perfect things? “You’d better get going.”
He searched my eyes for a moment, but I refused to break. I would not rebound on Josh Walker. I would not run from one guy to the other. He cleared his throat. “Practice Monday?”
“We’ll get him here,” I promised.
He stepped away from me, toward the girls who waited like groupies. I flipped to my back, leaning up against the cold glass and knocking the back of my head on it. I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn’t be tempted to watch him walk away with those girls. Who the hell let Josh Walker walk away?
“December.”
My eyes snapped open to see his fathomless brown ones leaning over me. His mouth was scant inches from mine, and I would have been willing to commit murder to close that distance without guilt. “Josh.” It was a whispered plea.
“We’re taking it slow until you say so, because I can’t bear to hear a ‘no’ from you. But here’s your only warning: I’m going to chase the fuck out of you.” The promise dripping from his voice was enough to set my thighs on fire.