“Do you like it?” Josiah asked him.
“Like what?”
“Your career, though I’m assuming you knew that’s what I meant.”
“Mm. You’re getting mouthy. I like it.” There was a pause then, as Tristan continued to drive. “It’s hard to put into words. Do I hate my job? Of course not. In many ways, I need it, Josiah. It gives me the stability I need, and not just with money. My stocks are actually doing just fine in that respect. When I...”
He paused again, and Josiah let him compose whatever he had to say. Not long ago, he would have cut off this conversation from the beginning. At least he tried to talk to them sometimes now. Not all the time, but some.
“When I was younger, I had my reasons for wanting to do what I do. It was a way to try and make things right, and a way to give me what I needed. But do I love it? I don’t know. You know how I am with that word.” He glanced at Josiah and grinned.
“Funny.”
“I know.”
Tristan pulled up to a red light. “I’m not passionate about it, if that’s what you’re asking. But, would I be passionate about anything? I don’t know, Josiah. I’m not like you in that way. The only thing I’ve really been passionate about is you, and now Mateo.”
He felt a slight ache in his chest at that. It was then he remembered he’d had the same kind of discussion with Teo once.
“When Mateo and I were younger, he asked me what I wanted to do. That’s when I told him about the coffeehouse. When I asked him the same thing, he didn’t know what he wanted, either. I told him he could share my dream, go to school with me or work with me. I know that’s not something you can really do, Tristan, but...well, in a way you can. It will be yours, too, and one day you’ll find something to be passionate about.”
Tristan reached over and set a hand on Josiah’s leg.
“You guys are so much alike inside. There’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with you both,” Josiah told him.
“Lucky us. Oh look, we’re here.” Tristan turned right, making Josiah glance up to see where they were going.
Josiah frowned. “Home Depot?”
“It’s a start. This isn’t where we’ll get everything, but flooring, paint... We can look at fixtures, but I think we might want to go somewhere else for those.”
There was a slight inflection in Tristan’s voice, and Josiah smiled. “You’re excited.”
He squinted as though that surprised him. “This is important to you.”
Tristan might not realize it, but it was important to him, too. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Josiah led the way through the store, slowly looking at everything. They were by the paint for at least an hour by the time he held up two cards to Tristan. “I really want a warm brown for the front. Which one do you like better?”
Tristan studied them. “There’s a difference?”
“Yes. The one in my right hand is lighter.” Maybe only a shade, but still.
With a slight glint in his eyes, Tristan said, “What I meant by that is, if I can’t tell a difference, no one else can, either. You can pick whichever you’d like and it will be the same.”
They both laughed before Josiah put the lighter color back. They looked at more colors for walls, granite counters, and tile for floors. He didn’t pick out a lot, but it was good to get some ideas. By the time they went back to the car to head home, Josiah realized what a perfect day he’d had with both his men. Tristan and Mateo shared a lot of the bad with each other, but he wanted the good for them. It was time to think of a way to make that happen.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Tristan
“How’s my son today?” Tristan’s mom asked as he slipped into her apartment. She stood by the large window, like she so often did, watching the world go by without her. A pang landed in Tristan’s chest as he took in the sight, wondering how much she missed it. How much the recent incident set her back. What he could do to help.
“How did you know it was me?” he asked.
“Isabel is already here. She’s in the shower.”
“It could have been Josiah or Mateo.” He stopped beside her and she reached over and squeezed his hand. Tristan did the same in return before she sat down.
“Mateo will be here in a little while. We already spoke this morning and Josiah says hello when he comes in. You’re the only one who enters with a silent pout that I can feel from across the room.”
Tristan’s first thought was to deny it, but they both knew it would be a lie. He was working on that, trying to be a little more open instead of shooting things down. “You have to admit I’m getting better.”