To describe to you the condition of my feelings would be about as easy,
you may imagine, as to describe a display of fireworks. There are
certain perturbations of the heart which defy analysis. The enchantment
which held me spell-bound, intoxicated my mind like fumes of haschisch,
and I could hardly recognise myself in this fairy-world character; it
required an effort on my part to assure myself of my own identity, and
that I was not misled by a dream. No, it was myself sure enough! Then I
remembered that I was going to see them again. My darlings were waiting
for me. No doubt they had already exchanged confidences. What kind of
reception should I have? My duties as Sultan were so new to me that I
trembled lest I should commit some mistake which would lower me in their
eyes; I was walking blindfold in this paradise of Mahomet, of whose laws
I was ignorant. Ought I to maintain the dignified bearing of a vizir, or
abandon myself to the tender attitudes of a lover? In my perplexities I
was almost tempted to send for Mohammed-Azis, to request of him a few
lessons in deportment as practised by the Perfect Pasha of the
Bosphorus; but perhaps he would disturb my happiness? As to introducing
a hierarchy into my harem, I would not hear of such a thing; for to tell
the truth, the choice of a favourite would be an impossibility for me. I
loved them all four with an equal devotion, and could not even bear the
thought of their being reduced to three without feeling the misery of an
unsatisfied love.
At last the hour having arrived without my mind being decided, I wisely
determined to act as circumstances might dictate, and started off in the
direction of my harem. I think I have already told you that a small
door of which I alone possess the key, communicates between my park and
El-Nouzha. From this door a sort of labyrinth leads to the Kasre by a
single narrow alley, which one might take for a disused path. When I
reached the last turn in this alley which terminates in the open
gardens, I perceived under the verandah Mohammed-Azis, who seemed to be
watching me--he ran towards me with an eager and delighted appearance,
and salem aleks without end.
By his first words I gathered that he knew all.
When I asked after them, he told me that I was expected; then all at
once I heard merry voices, followed by the noise of hurrying footsteps
mingled with rustlings of silk dresses. Soon I saw coming out under the
verandah, struggling together to be the first to reach me, Hadidjé,
Nazli, Kondjé-Gul and Zouhra; they threw themselves into my arms all
four at once, laughing like children, hugging me, and holding up their
rosy lips, each vying with the other for my first kiss. What laughter,
what merry, bird-like warbling of voices! And all this with the natural
abandonment of youth and simplicity--I was about to say innocence--so
much so that I was quite taken aback. But all of a sudden, at a word
from Mohammed, who was looking at us affectionately, and more and more
delighted every minute, they stopped quite confused. He had, no doubt,
reprimanded them for some breach of decorum, for they, slipping gently
aside, held their hands up to their foreheads. You may guess I soon cut
short these respectful formalities, by drawing them back into my
arms.... Whereupon renewed laughter and merriment ensued, accompanied
with little glances of triumph at poor Mohammed, who assumed a
scandalised expression, lifting up his hands as if to make Heaven a
witness that he was not responsible for this neglect of all Oriental
etiquette! After this scene, you will easily understand that I did not
trouble my head any more about the difficulties which I had anticipated
in my family duties. I had apprehended a very delicate situation,
aggravated by growing jealousies; by the susceptibilities of rivals,
offended airs, perhaps even the reproaches and tears of betrayed love.