A guy walks from the other direction, three blocks away. We are on a collision course. Will he pass on the right or left? With cars it's the right, but no rule for pedestrians. Signal my intention. Get over to the right. He is tall, in his thirties, dressed like a preppie. No hostility. He will pass easy. Look him in the face. Connect souls.
A young girl five blocks away, walks on the same side as me. Don't change. Neither does she. Impact in ten, nine, eight. Neither turns. We look each other in the eye. She goes around. I beat a little girl at a game of chicken. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with kids? Doesn't she know you're supposed to pass on the right? I should have turned. The incident is over. She has already forgotten. No harm done. Wanted to say, "sorry you were abused as a child," but thankfully didn't. People roam like savages. The utter tragedy of the human condition. She's gone, but what if she snuck up and punched me in the back of the head? Couldn't argue.
I know I'm an idiot, but what good does it do?
People told me not to put myself down, but didn't listen. Why do I have these thoughts? I dissolve in a vat of acid. But so many hateful things going on. How can I not notice them?
Pass a girl with a pirate tattoo, then a bar called "Nasty's." The church people were right, rock n roll did bring the moral destruction of society.
A woman walks ahead of me. Change sides so she doesn't think I follow.
Need to be more fun.
Stop by the store on the way back. Not Rick's Stupid Store. Could, but I hate that effen place. The meat is spoiled. Go to Wrong-Mart, the closest store that isn't Rick's, a national chain. At least their cans don't have dust on top. Hate here too. The big corporation has robbery down to a science.
Can't buy apples, they have pesticides. Remember mostly grains. Everything good has hydrogenated oil. Hersey bars are the one thing I can have. B reak down and buy a box of fried chicken with eighty grams of trans fat. I can get out 99% with paper towels. It's already illegal in California, why are New Yorkers so stupid. Why is nobody outraged?
Walk back home, read my loaf of 'Ancient Grains from the Bible' bread. "Ingredients: Flax seeds, whole grain oats, whole grain wheat, whole grain corn, hydrogenated Canola oil!!! SON OF A BITCH. They got me again. It's my own filthy fault for not reading every single word.