ForNever

His sudden voice next to me startles me, "Hi, Heather. Mind if I walk with you."

" Which direction do you go?" He looks at me puzzled, so I smile. "On the train. Do you go South or North?"

Understanding brightens his eyes.

Although love scares me a little now, I cannot help it when I feel a small twinge in the pit of my stomach. He is absolutely gorgeous and the way he looks at me makes me feel wanted and loved. Obviously, this whole divorce thing is playing havoc with my emotions because I met this boy only a few hours ago and already my mind is telling me that he wants and loves me.

He says, "North. I saw you on the train this morning."

" You did?"

" Yeah. You were sitting a few seats ahead of me."

I nod my head as I say, "Okay?" I wonder if my previous prediction is correct and he is not looking at me with want and love, but with psychotic needs and desires.

As if he can read my mind, he declares, "Don't worry, I am not a psycho. I recognized your school uniform."

I smile, hiding my relief.

He continues, "I didn't see you at school yesterday."

" I know. I was feeling a little off."

He frowns briefly. "Hope you are feeling better today."

" I'm okay." I grin sheepishly.

We reach the station and wait on the platform together.

He is looking out across the railway lines, across the stonewall on the other side, toward the blue, motionless ocean. He asks interested, "Do you go to the beach often."

" In summer, we go regularly. Not now though, it gets too cold."

The train rumbles into the station and then we walk a little forward. The doors swoosh open and I step up into the carriage while Kieran follows me in. I find a seat and he sits down across from me. There is not a whole lot of leg space, especially when he slouches down into his seat. The fabric of his grey school pants rubs against my leg and I am not sure where to put my legs. For the first time ever, in all of my sixteen years, I am feeling shy and uncertain in the presence of a boy.

He stares out of the window at a point just beyond my face and I feel unsure of myself. I do not know where to look, so I look up and read the boring advertisements pasted across the light fittings near the roof of the carriage.

I have memorized the importance of brushing my teeth when he breaks the silence between us. "Almost there."