ForNever

I sit up, feeling uncomfortable with his warm leg pressed against mine. Not uncomfortable in a weird way, but a nice way. I cross my legs at the ankles, slide them in under my seat and look out the window. The houses on the outskirts of Drogheda are flashing past.

As he stands up, he scoops his hand through the handles of his satchel. I get up as well and follow him to the standing area by the door. The train stops with a jerk and I knock into him. He takes a deep breath as his arms come around my waist to steady me. Smiling shyly, I move away from him.

After we get off the train, we walk through the ticket office together. He walks with me across the parking lot to the steps that would lead me to the road in the direction of where my home is.

When we get there, before I open my mouth to say goodbye, he stops walking and he asks, "What are you doing tomorrow? We should meet and you can show me around." He smiles faintly. "I am new to the town and have not yet seen the sights."

I turn toward him and I wonder if I should. I know I do not want to be at home when my dad fetches his things. I do not want to live through another fight. I do not want to see him walk out with all his worldly possessions and be left behind like an unwanted carpet. I say, "Okay, where do you live, north side or south side?" Here everything is determined by north or south.

" On the north side."

I think for a moment where I should meet him. "We could meet at the mall. It is about halfway in between, I suppose."

He smiles a pleased smile and it dazzles me. "At ten?"

" Ten is perfect. I better be off then."

He turns away from me, hesitates and then turns back. He says, "Heather." His voice sounds imploring, almost like a prayer.

I look back at him curiously.

" Your hair suits you. You are beautiful."

I gulp and smile widely. Turning away from him, I can feel his eyes burning into my back as I walk away feeling elated. Why would a boy telling me I am beautiful bring such blissful ecstasy to my being? I have had many boyfriends. Some I have pursued and caught, and others have made their advances at me first and I had fallen for them. This is not the first boy who has shown an interest in me, but I have never told a boy that I love him and I have never gone all the way. Boys think I am easy because I am usually so happy go lucky, but they discover soon enough there is no pot of gold waiting for them at the end of my rainbow. I am waiting for that boy where I will feel the love bubble out of me. Where I will be able to say I love you spontaneously, without having to wonder if I should. Now, though, with me realizing there is no such thing as everlasting, forever love, this will never happen. For-never will I find true love.