“What?” he finally answered.
“We need to stop.”
He pressed his large erection against the scorching heat between my legs. “Your body doesn’t agree with that statement.”
I moaned as the pressure of his touch on my nipples intensified. “No, it doesn’t,” I breathed. “It definitely wants you to fuck me again.” He groaned in response to that heated admission. “But I’m still pissed off at you.”
He stiffened against me then pulled his hands out from under my shirt. We remained pressed up against one other, breathing hard but not able to meet each other’s gaze. My eyes fluttered closed. I wanted him so badly it literally ached.
He stepped back, pulling away. The look on his face could most easily be described as…confusion. With each second, I saw a new emotion swirling in the mix—desire, reluctance, ambivalence.
“You’re right. We can’t do this.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, not me. He began to rub his jaw with the palm of his hand, appearing deep in thought.
I drew in a long breath and let it go, proud that I’d spoken up for myself despite being so turned on. But all at once, those old insecurities surfaced in my thoughts, and I could practically still hear the backlash whenever I’d spoken up in the past. To be honest, it’s no big deal to me. The sex was never very exciting, Gunnar had said, months before hopping into bed with my mother.
My breath caught. April, you should make sure you get a man while you’re young and still on your dad’s bankroll. I always had my looks to get by on, but you’re lucky—you don’t have to worry about that.
My mom and her smarmy, condescending advice on how to catch and keep a man. As always, she seemed to harbor resentment toward me for still having access to my dad’s money when she didn’t.
All those other gremlins in my head—even Cari at Comic-Con. You’re just a goody-goody, April. You’d never take a big chance and be adventurous.
Suddenly, I was feeling sick to my stomach.
And Jordan watched it all. He frowned and brought a hand up to caress my cheek. I turned my face away from his touch, closing my eyes, not wanting to see the pity.
“Hey. What kind of head game are you playing in there?”
I shook my head and laughed at myself, blinking to prevent tears of humiliation. “No more than the usual.” I turned to go into my room. He stopped me, grabbing my arm.
“I’m sorry I started that. And I’m sorry you’re still angry with me. But you did the right thing. I got carried away. I just don’t want to take advantage—any more than I already have.”
In spite of myself, a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. “I’m a big girl. I can judge when I’m being taken advantage of.”
He rubbed at the back of his neck, looking away. “Good night, April.”
We avoided each other’s gaze and tried to ignore the heavy tension in the air between us that, if it were a blanket, would have smothered us both.
I cleared my throat and spoke again. “So, uh, remember you’ve got the orientation, a one-on-one meeting with the speaking coach in the morning and then the dress rehearsal. I’ll be with you at that one.” I was proud of the way I’d managed to make my voice switch to business mode without even the slightest tremble. I’d heard my dad affect that tone enough to easily be able to imitate it.
Retreating into my room, I quickly shut the door and hustled through my bedtime routine. I tried to ignore the fact that my body was still on fire from his kisses, the firm, sure touch of his hands, and the scrape of those whiskers across my skin.
His sorcery had drawn me in without effort, and under his charm, I was hopelessly captivated.
I had to get my act together quickly or I’d be as entrapped as Rapunzel in the tower, unable to ever escape.
Chapter 18
Jordan
I had to admit it was hard to sleep that night. Obsessing over someone will do that to you. Her scent, still in my nostrils, was lush and enticing—like how you’d imagine a princess like Snow White to smell. How you’d imagine her to taste. Sweet, soft, succulent. I wanted to taste more of her. And those thoughts ran endlessly through my mind until the wee hours.
The raging hard-on was not helping, either.
At this point, I had too much dignity to crawl off into a corner and start jerking off. So I suffered through it, and thus insomnia ensued. I hadn’t had sex in a while and going cold turkey was kicking my ass.
I’d come too close—way too close—to shattering all my good-intentioned resolve. Until she’d put on the brakes and brought me back to my senses.