He didn’t say anything, just held me there. I could feel his wild heartbeat beneath mine as our bodies pressed together. I could get lost in this feeling, the security of his arms around me, despite this uncertainty of what his feelings were. I didn’t need a label from him right now if he was too afraid to admit the truth. But he couldn’t deny it. He did care, as he’d shown over and over again with his actions.
He buried his face in my hair, muttering, “What are you doing to me?”
I kissed him where I could reach him at the bottom of his neck, just above the neckline of his t-shirt. His arms tightened and his arousal surged against my stomach. Immediately, his mouth landed on my neck, devouring my ear, my jaw, my lips.
He pushed us back toward the wall in the tiny dressing room and I went with him willingly, our mouths fastened together. My hands slipped under his shirt, across his hard, packed abs. His hand slid to the inside of my thighs, stroking them firmly, and then he slipped his fingers under the crotch of my swimsuit. I whimpered…and that really seemed to get him going.
With a swift yank, one side of my suit was off my shoulder, exposing my breast. He sealed his mouth over my nipple while sliding his fingers under the other side of the suit to roll that nipple between his thumb and forefinger. My lust surged and I arched my back, crying out. He quieted me, putting his mouth back on mine as he tugged on the front of his own swimsuit.
Then, he pulled a condom out of the pocket of his swimsuit, deftly opened the package and slipped it on. There was no dirty talk this time; my confession must have left him speechless. He tugged aside the crotch of my swimsuit again and pressed himself against me.
Our mouths found each other again as he lifted me against the wall, leveraging himself before sliding into me easily. I clung to his strong neck and shoulders as he moved against me, almost frenzied, driving himself relentlessly to orgasm. It would be quick, I could tell. He watched me with lust-glazed eyes. His fingers glided between us and he rubbed my clit. I came—hard—groaning into his mouth. Seconds later, he was coming too. He pushed his hips against me just a few more times as we came down from that high. It had been fast, intense and, like always, hot.
He held me there for a long time, pressed between his hard body and the slightly harder paneled wall behind me. I wanted him to stay inside me forever. I tightened my legs around his slim hips, but he slowly relaxed and pulled away.
We took a moment to clean up and right our clothing. Jordan tossed out the condom, congratulating himself for having the forethought to stuff one in his pocket, “just in case.”
He took a deep breath and then released it. “I’ve always been good at thinking ahead.”
I smiled, relaxed against the wall and watched him, my head tilting. Content, but also deeply sad. “For our last time ever, that was pretty amazing.”
He blinked. “Uh. What?”
I frowned. “I think it’s obvious why this can’t continue.”
“It’s not obvious to me.”
“It should be. The most important reason is because of what I just told you. I need to protect my heart. The sneaking around and having sex—it’s fun, but I can’t do it anymore.”
He scowled again and sighed, shaking his head. “You aren’t making this very easy for me.”
“You aren’t making it easy for me, either.”
He closed his eyes and then opened them. “Give me some time to think…to figure things out.”
Why did I have the feeling he was selling me a line? This feeling sank to the base of my throat, cold and hard. At the back of my head, alarm bells rang,
“Do you want to?” I asked anyway.
He nodded, and with a smile, bent to kiss me again. “I do.”
Despite those darker premonitions, a rush of happiness threatened to drown me so that I could hardly catch my next breath. I put my hands on his cheeks. “So do I.”
He pulled away, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. “We’d better get back, in case someone’s looking for me. With my luck, it will be Adam with some new bug up his ass about something.”
I kissed him. “Then you go first, and I’ll wait a few minutes before I leave.”
He pushed my hair away from my face and kissed me again. Then he turned and was gone.
I waited a few minutes, using that time to will my heart to quiet, but it wouldn’t listen to me. I was on an adrenaline rush, and not just because of the amazing dressing-room sex. He wanted to try! He wanted to see if we could make something work.
I swallowed hard, trying not to feel the hopeful surge that that vision of the future placed in my brain—even though it was only a few weeks into the future. I wondered what going out on a normal date with Jordan would be like…would it be similar to those few idyllic days in Vancouver?