Go now, my heart urged me. Prepare, said my head.
For a change, I took the wiser advice.
I did not think about what I was doing as I carefully measured the elfbark and made my tea. It was not the Outislander stuff, but the weaker herb we harvested in the Six Duchies. And this was freshly harvested by me, from an elf tree near the old well outside the walls. Winter-harvested, so I was making it strong. But not too strong, or I’d disappear from the coterie’s awareness entirely. Strong enough that I could stop thinking about my walls constantly. Strong enough to deaden my Skill but leave my Wit completely unaffected.
I drank it and went up to visit the Fool. I found him stretched out on the floor flat on his back. “I’m fine,” he said before I could express alarm. As I watched, he lifted both his feet off the floor and, legs straight, raised them as high as he could. It was not high. I winced for him as he held them, breathing stiffly. I did not speak to him until he lowered his feet to the floor again.
“I’m feeling restless. I think I’m going to go for a long ride. Want to come with me?”
He turned his head toward me. “Not yet. But thank you for thinking I might. I’m feeling stronger. And … braver. The dreams help.”
“Dreams?”
“I have dragon dreams, Fitz. I battle for a mate I desire. And I win.” A very strange smile suffused his face. “I win,” he said again, softly. He lifted his feet off the floor. He held them off the floor, toes pointed. They began to tremble and he lowered them again. He bent his knees and tried to curl to meet them. Limbering himself. Even I was more flexible than that. But he would fight his way back. I heard him groan.
“Don’t push yourself too hard.”
He lowered his feet. “I must. When I think it is too hard, I think of our daughter. And I find determination.”
I had been moving about my task. Those words halted me in place.
“What are you doing?” he asked me.
“Chade’s shelf of herbs and elixirs is a bit untidy. I need to remind Ash to be more careful.” A very unfair lie. I was able to find everything I needed immediately. Distract him. “I’m glad of your dreams. I just wanted you to know that you might not see me tonight.”
The smile twisted. “Even if you were here, I wouldn’t see you,” he reminded me.
I groaned, he laughed at me, and I left.
My saddle-pack was not heavy. Carris seed and elfbark weigh little. Some carryme, willowbark, valerian. I prayed Bee would not need it. I chose a warmer cloak. I exchanged the weighted gloves for warmer ones. A good wool scarf around my throat. The change of clothing for Bee. Only the most basic supplies. Done.
I shut my door and turned as Lant reached the top of the stairs and bolted toward me. Damn my luck.
“Fitz!” he cried and halted a few steps from me, clutching at his half-healed wound.
“Catch your breath,” I suggested to him. In a lower voice, I added, “And speak softly.”
He was panting. “Yes,” he agreed. He put his hand out and leaned his weight on the wall. “I went to Chade. There were two healers in his room. He told me to come to you.”
I had no time to be oblique. I spoke quietly. “We’ve had word of where we might find the mercenaries who took Shine and Bee. The Ringhill Guard will ambush and surround them. Tomorrow at first light my guard rides out to Salter’s Deep. They will probably miss the Ringhill Guard recapturing them, but at least they can be there to lend some comfort.”
“Shine,” he said and a conflict of emotions trampled his face. “I thought … But of course that is her name. And of course I want to ride with you.”
“Lord Chade thought you might. But are you sure you’re ready for a long ride like that? If you cannot keep up—”
“You’ll leave me. I know. Of course you must! No, I’ll be ready to ride with you at first light.”
“Fine. I’ll see you then. I’ve things to prepare.” I walked away, hoping he would cling to the wall a bit longer. Instead he gave a groan and a grunt as he stood almost straight and then followed me. He walked beside me in silence for a time. Just as it began to grow awkward, he spoke.
“I didn’t know she was my sister.”
Sweet Eda, please don’t let him confide in me! “Neither did I, Lant. I had not even realized you were my cousin.”
“Cousin,” he said softly as if that had never occurred to him. Then he said slowly, “It will be awkward for us when first we meet again …”
The least of my worries. “I will speak to her first, if there is privacy to do so. But if not, you will have to handle it discreetly. Especially if there are others within earshot.”