“I believe the existing greatcoats and longcoats can be modified to be close to the new design,” her father was telling the captain. “I can contract with the tailors here in the city and arrange for them to come to the castle and make the alterations for your Riders.”
Karigan handed her greatcoat to the captain so she could examine the materials, which were virtually the same as the old. She then let her fellow Riders check out the longcoat she was wearing and examine the breeches.
“As long as it can all be made to fit me,” Garth said, “I am fine with the changes.” He was a rather large fellow.
The captain, Mara, and Connly stood aside looking over the greatcoat. As the Riders were satisfied and dispersed out into the corridor, Karigan’s father joined her. “We are to meet your aunts down in the city for a meal. I asked your captain if she would accompany us, but she must attend the king. What of Estral?”
Karigan was relieved the captain had declined. It would have been awkward to sit down to supper with the two of them after having witnessed their ardent kiss in the stables. Estral, who was conversing with Garth, also declined.
“I’d love to,” Estral said, “but I want to catch up with Garth and Connly.”
About Alton, she was sure.
So, when it was time to head into the city, it was just Karigan and her father riding down the Winding Way in a hired cab beneath the late afternoon sun.
“Your aunts have the wagon,” he explained. They were no doubt filling up its cargo space on their shopping expedition.
They fell into silence as the cab rumbled over cobblestones and through slush. Karigan rubbed absently around her mirror eye to relieve the ache. Ben’s salve helped, but not entirely.
“Does it hurt much?” her father asked.
She started at his speaking. “Aches a little,” she replied. More than a little, she thought, as a result of her meeting with Lhean.
“Kari,” her father began, his expression clouded, “if you ever need to talk . . .”
She gazed out the window at shops and houses with icicles hanging off the eaves that glistened in the sunlight. “I know.” She had already done enough talking to both Lhean and Estral. She did not have it in her to delve into such difficult territory again in so short a time.
Unbidden, she thought back to seeing her father and Captain Mapstone together in the stables, and considered her loss of Cade.
“You know,” she told him, “I want you to be happy just as much as you have always wanted me to be happy.”
He smiled tentatively. “That is good to hear. Don’t worry, I am not going to try to match you with another merchant’s son, and I’ve been discouraging your aunts, too. I have come to realize, along with your vocation, you will find your own path in that regard, as well. When someone does come into your life, I can always hope he is a merchant, or he wants to learn the trade.”
Well, that was a relief. “Good. I hope you will find someone who makes you happy, too.”
“You do?”
His surprise saddened her. “Yes, I do. It’s been a long time since mother passed.” They sat silently in the sway of the carriage for a moment. “I know you still grieve, but I don’t think she would wish for you to be lonely and sad because of her, and I certainly don’t.” She would not bring up the captain unless he did first. She didn’t want him to know she’d caught them in an intimate situation. If it turned out to be serious between the two of them, then he could come around to telling her himself.
He gave her an appraising look, like he’d never expected this from her. “You have truly grown up.” And then his gaze became more serious. “No, not just grown up, but I suspect your experiences as a Green Rider have made you wise beyond your years. I will not intrude on whatever it is you wish to keep private, but my offer to listen will always remain open, should you ever need to talk. It is the hardest thing on Earth to lose someone you love. I never believed I would survive after your mother died, but I had you. When I heard you’d been declared dead?” He shook his head and looked down at his hands. “It all came back. I—I kind of gave up for a while, let things go. Your aunts and Sevano did what they could to keep the business going, but they were hurting, too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? It isn’t your fault you disappeared. At least, not entirely. We will recover from any shortfalls in business, but I am not sure what would have happened had you not returned.”
“I would have wanted you to go on,” she replied, and suddenly she realized that it was what Cade would have wanted for her, too. He would want her to live and find happiness, however she could.
“Yes, but when you are in the midst of grief, the darkness, it is not so easy to see.”
She knew. The sideways glance he gave her made her believe he sensed something of her own grief. She supposed it wasn’t difficult for anyone around her to guess what Cade had meant to her, which her father confirmed by his next statement.
“Just as I had my sisters and Sevano to support me in so difficult a time, so do you have your friends in the Green Riders, and Estral, too. They are your second family, if I am not mistaken, and you can lean on them in times of trouble.”
“I know,” she replied. At least, she thought she knew, but she had that terrible habit of hiding her wounds.
“I will also always be there for you.”
“You’d better be.”