“So, why did you hire us?” Moving the conversation back to business seems to be the safest course.
“Your business offers cleaning and home management as well, is that correct?”
“Well, yes.”
“That’s why I hired you. I need a cleaning service for this entire building and someone to handle organizing my space as well.”
Stunned, I just stare at him. How does he even know that we do all that?
When Daphne, Tara and I first started, we envisioned a service that helped people organize their entire lives. From keeping appointments to closet reorganization to cleaning. Everything. Unfortunately in this economy most of our customers don’t have the money to hire us for any extras. Most just want cleaning services and many have scaled back to only monthly cleaning. Weekly or daily clients are hard to come by.
Now here is our first client willing to pay for the full-service and it’s someone that I can’t deal with.
“So you hired me, even with our history?” Something about this isn’t right. Why would he do that? Unless he’s trying to start something again. The last time we spoke was when I ran into him randomly in town before he was deployed for the last time. I’m the one who broke things off so I wasn’t expecting him to be happy to see me but he hadn’t even been able to look at me then. So why would he seek me out now?
I look up and he’s watching me. The same current of heat passes between us and something clenches deep and low in my belly. “You didn’t bring me here thinking that we would … you know.”
Finn’s jaw tightens, the only outward evidence that he’s disturbed.
“Why would you think I wanted that from you? Men in my position stay away from gold-diggers if at all possible. You’ve already proven what you’re about.”
The pain comes out of nowhere, like a shot in the dark. I close my eyes. He’s so angry. This isn’t like him, not like the Finn I knew. He always had a smile for me. Always knew just what to say to make me feel better when I was sad or tired. He understood the frustration of wanting more and not knowing how to get it. And for a time we were each other’s shield against all the things that would attempt to hurt us. But then I met Andrew and everything changed.
He speaks and it’s like he’s reading my mind, as if my thoughts of the past have triggered his own.
“How is Andrew, by the way? I hope he’s well.”
His formal tone of speech just makes it clear that he’s mocking me. Finn was never formal with me, or with anyone really. I have no doubt that he already knows that we're not together anymore. He looks too pleased with himself not to have that information already. I'm sure he just wants to rub my nose in it, in how spectacularly wrong I was when I made my choice.
“He's just fine.”
“Of course he is. He has you, so why wouldn’t he be? You two are perfect for each other.”
I have to clench my hands beneath my legs to keep still. He has no idea just how deep his verbal barbs have penetrated. I’m sure he also has no idea just what a sadistic monster hides behind Andrew’s perfect face. If he knew, I don’t think he’d be saying these things. Finn was a jealous type but never evil. And even though he’d feel sorry if he knew the truth, I’ll never tell him just how imperfect things actually were. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I got myself out of that situation on my own and I don’t need anyone looking down on me or crying tears on my behalf.
“Anyway, I’d love to catch up but I need to show you around and give you your keys.” He stands, relying heavily on the cane. When he looks up and sees me watching him, his face hardens.
“And I need to tell you exactly what I expect from you.”
* * * * *
I follow behind as Finn shows me the rest of the building. The other apartments aren’t as stunning as his but they’re all newly renovated and spacious. He owns all this now. These types of apartments are the kind that we could only dream of living in as kids.
We’re standing in the middle of one of the vacant units when his phone rings. He holds up a finger as he answers.
I walk away slightly to give him some privacy but I can still overhear part of the conversation. It must be someone who works for him. It’s so odd to hear him talking with such authority. It’s like observing a stranger except this stranger looks like my Finn. Talks like my Finn.
I have to remind myself that he’s not. The boy I loved is gone. The Army took him just as surely as if he’d died overseas. And anything that was left when he came back, I killed when I gave him back his ring.
“Are you listening, Marissa?”
He’s watching me and I realize I’ve missed something he said.
“I’m sorry. This is a lot to take in. What time do you want your maid to come in the mornings?”
He tilts his head. “I expect you to be there by eight o'clock sharp, just like it says in the contract.”
I’m already shaking my head. Even though I told Daphne and Tara that I would do it, that was before I knew it was him. There’s no way that I can show up here everyday and be around Finn without the past crashing back in on me. I’ve worked so hard to move on and all of this has brought that pain dangerously close to the surface again. I’ll be lucky to get out of here today without breaking down completely. But I won’t let him have that victory.
“I’ll be sending someone else to clean your residence. Now that I’ve seen the place for myself, I’ll start assembling crews to handle the other floors.”