She gave Beth a weak smile of reassurance. “That’s probably it. I’m sure I’m just making too much out of it.” She didn’t believe what she was saying any more than Beth was probably buying it, but at this point she knew that her friend had enough on her mind without worrying about her love life. If Declan didn’t want her to meet his family, she couldn’t exactly blame him. Look at how well both meetings with her family had gone. She should just count herself lucky. If another person besides her mother called them fornicators, she wasn’t sure she could take it.
“Where’s your girl?” Mac asked.
Declan knew it was useless to play dumb with one of his oldest friends. Mac could read him like a book. He had arrived ahead of the others and they were sitting on the deck outside, while Evan played with his toys in the doorway. “I thought I would spare her from this painful family hour today.”
Mac tapped his thumb against his thigh, looking off into the distance. “I see. I was surprised to hear you had gotten involved with someone. It isn’t your usual MO.”
“No, it’s not,” he admitted. “It just happened before I realized it.”
“So where do you think it’s headed?”
Declan shot him a look of surprise. “Nowhere, you know that. Just because we’ve been together more than one night doesn’t mean I’m picking out china patterns. I’m not settling down, and Ella damn well deserves better than some fucked-up mess like me.”
“Don’t you think that’s her call?”
“What about you?” Declan snapped, “I don’t see you making any life-changing decisions. How many years are you going to waste, hung up on my sister?” Declan sat back and waited for Mac to explode. Usually anything to do with Ava was a sure trigger with him.
Instead, Mac settled back in his chair and took a moment before replying. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not exactly a great example, but at least it’s not from lack of trying. I’ve loved Ava since we were kids and I know she loves me in her own way. Sometimes it’s just not enough. I’ve . . . been thinking of moving on with my life. I’m not getting any younger.” Pointing to Evan, he added, “and I wouldn’t mind having one of those at some point.”
Surprised, Declan said, “That was about the last thing I expected to hear from you. I never thought you’d throw in the towel there. Maybe you should talk to her before you do that.”
Giving him a sad smile, Mac said, “Why? For years she’s kept me—and every other man—at arm’s length. She’s . . . well, she’s like you, Dec. She has sex with a guy, and then moves on. She doesn’t do it near as often as you, but it never happens more than once.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
Smirking, Mac said, “Come on, I run a security company. You should know I’ve kept a tail on her for years. I hate like hell to read those reports sometimes, but I won’t let anyone else hurt her, man, I can’t. Even if I hadn’t promised your grandfather to watch over her, I would have anyway. She’ll always be mine, even when I move on.”
Declan tipped his beer back before replying. “Is there anyone normal among us? I guess Brant is about it, even though he’s as strange as they come.”
Mac grimaced. “Boy, that’s just sad isn’t it? So what about you? When will you finally move on?”
“I don’t have anything to move on from. No long lost loves or anything.”
“Dec, give me some credit for knowing more about you than the average person you bullshit. You may not have an Ava in your past, but you damn sure have a Craig, which is probably worse. When are you going to deal with all that baggage and move forward? You know he wouldn’t want this for you.”
“I’m fine. I was the way I am years before Craig came along.”
“You might have had some of the usual issues, but Craig changed you. We were all there, Dec, and everyone hated it like hell. You just took everyone’s guilt though and carried it. Nothing you could have done would have saved him. If it hadn’t been that day, then it would have been another one.”
Declan jumped to his feet which made Evan give him an uneasy look. He gave him a reassuring smile before lowering his voice. “Craig had a family waiting for him. I promised I would get him back home to his wife, and I failed her and him. How am I supposed to move on with my life when I ruined someone else’s?”
“You need to go see Amy.”
“Amy? As in Craig’s Amy?
Nodding, Mac said, “Yeah. I still check on her and the kid on a regular basis. They’re both doing really well. She went back to school and finished her teaching degree and now she teaches kindergarten. She asks about you every time we talk. She really appreciates the money you sent them.”
Declan stared off into space, thinking of the woman and child that he barely knew. Craig had wanted them to have their own place and not have to depend on her father. It had been important to Declan to make sure that dream came true for Amy after Craig died. “She doesn’t want to see me. She probably hates my guts.”
“You’re the only one who feels that way, bro. I . . . actually, Amy is going to be up here on vacation next month and she asked if we could all get together while she’s here. She wants us to meet Renee, their daughter.”
Even as he shook his head, almost in a panic, Mac was saying, “Just think about it. You don’t have to decide right now, but you need this. You need the closure.”
“Yeah, that’s what my shrink says.”
Mac gave him a look of surprise. “You’re seeing a therapist? Shit, when did this happen?”
Nodding towards Evan he said, “About that time that he and Ella came into my life. I can’t keep losing my fucking mind in the middle of the night with one or both of them around. I was scared I could hurt someone without even waking up. I hurt Ella once when she tried to wake me up during one. I . . . I can’t risk that. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to anyone else, especially her. I need to tell her in my own time.”
“You know I won’t, man. This might sound a bit paternal, but I’m proud of you. I know this is a big step.”
He had never been so grateful to hear his brother’s voice as he called out to them from within the apartment. No, his family never did anything normal like knock, but this was one time he wasn’t going to bust Brant’s balls over it.
As he walked past Mac, he heard him quietly say, “Promise me you’ll think about seeing Amy.” He nodded his head briefly as he walked away. Just thinking about what Mac was asking filled him with an unreasonable fear even though his therapist, like Mac, had tried to convince him that it would be good for him. He was terrified of seeing the look of hate that would surely fill Amy’s eyes.
Chapter Nineteen
Why was she so nervous? This wasn’t her first date with Declan. Heck, she didn’t think she had been even anywhere near this nervous then. He had spent Sunday with his family and Evan, and then had to go out of town on business for the rest of the week. They had talked on the phone each day, but they hadn’t been together in what seemed like ages. It was almost like starting over. She had missed feeling his arms around her. Missed burying her nose in his chest and inhaling his scent. Missed the way she always felt his lips against the top of her head when he was hugging her. He might not be a relationship guy, but when they were together, she felt cherished. He took care of her and in such a low-key way that she never realized it was happening until she thought back on all of the little things he was constantly doing for her.
His plane had landed a few hours ago and he was going to his apartment to shower before meeting up with her. To save time, she had insisted on meeting him at his place. She didn’t want him to have to drive all the way across town when the restaurant was so close to his apartment. She was in love with the seafood place on the strip and he had promised to look the other way while she terrorized the buffet.
She was a few minutes early, so she decided to stop off at the market and pick up a bottle of wine for after dinner, plus, on an impulse she added a bouquet of tulips to her purchase. She knew men weren’t usually into flowers, but she thought they would look so pretty on his table. She paid the cashier and walked back out to the crosswalk. The walk sign flashed and Ella hummed to herself as she walked across the road. Her thoughts were so preoccupied with the evening ahead that she never saw the car coming toward her at a fast clip. If she had had just had a few seconds of warning, she could have quickened her pace and possibly avoided the glancing blow from the car that barreled through the intersection.
All she would remember was the feeling of weightlessness as she flew into the air like a rag doll, the jarring impact as she fell to the asphalt, and the tulips, brightly colored and lying mere inches from her eyes. Plus the question that kept running through her mind before she lost consciousness: Would someone pick them up for her and make sure Declan got them?
Declan paced the length of his apartment as he checked his watch for probably the hundredth time. Where the hell was she? Ella was never late, she was usually early. She was now two hours late and had completely fallen off the grid. He had called her, all of her friends, and then all of his. No one had spoken with her since she left the office hours earlier. He had been to her apartment, but her car wasn’t in her space. He had even insisted that her landlord let him in, but there was nothing out of the ordinary there.
When his phone rang, he grabbed it immediately. Beth had been trying to get a hold of her parents or sister to see if they possibly knew where she was. He heard the same panic that he was feeling in her voice as she said, “They haven’t talked to her in days, and neither has her sister. Something’s wrong, I just know it. This just isn’t like her to disappear.”
Before he could reply, his phone beeped with another call and he saw Mac’s name come up. “Beth, that’s Mac. I’ll call you back.” Without waiting for her to respond, he clicked over to his friend’s line. “Mac, tell me you’ve got something. I’m about to lose my fucking mind over here.”
“Yeah, I found her, man.” He expelled a loud breath before continuing. “She’s in the hospital. Some fucker hit her in the crosswalk in front of the supermarket on 17. Shit . . . it was a hit-and-run.”
Declan’s ears roared and his vision blurred as he fought the urge to collapse. Even as he spoke, he was barreling toward the door. “I’ve got to get to her. Where is she?”
“She’s at Grand Strand General. I’m downstairs at the entrance to your place. I’ll take you.” Declan ignored the elevator and took the stairs two at a time.
As promised, Mac’s truck was at the curb and Declan bounded in the door with a quick, “Go!” When he pulled into traffic, Declan asked tensely, “What happened to her exactly?”
“According to some witnesses at the scene, a car ran the light and clipped Ella as she was walking across the street. If she had been hit head-on she’d probably be dead. Instead, she was caught by the right fender and thrown several feet. One of the people at the scene was an off-duty paramedic and he controlled the scene until the police and ambulance arrived.”
“The bastard just left her there? He hurt Ellie and fucking left her,” Declan growled.
“Yeah, bro. He, she or whoever did just that. The police are working on finding the driver.”
Declan snapped his head around, “You don’t wait for the police. I want you to find out who did this to her. I don’t care what it costs, you find who did this.”
Mac nodded, and they both knew he would leave no stone left unturned until he found the person responsible. He hadn’t even needed to tell him that in so many words. It was a code among the brotherhood. Ella belonged to Declan and, as such, she was afforded the same loyalty that he was given. No questions asked. “I’m already on it. I’ll get you an answer.”
Declan finally worked up the nerve to ask the question that was tormenting him. “How is she, Mac?” Clearing his throat, he whispered, “Is she going to be okay?”
“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not pretty. They’re still working on her. She was unconscious when they brought her in, but my contact there says her vitals are stable. They know she’s got some broken bones and they are trying to determine if she has internal bleeding.”
Declan squeezed his eyes shut, feeling moisture gather there. He slammed his fist down on the dashboard yelling, “Son of a fucking bitch! I will kill whoever hurt her!”
Mac put a restraining hand on his arm. “Get it together, man. If you tear my truck apart, we’ll never make it there.”
He took some deep breaths, trying to bring his emotions under control. He laid his head back against the seat, running an unsteady hand through his hair. “I was going to break up with her tonight,” he said quietly. “I was going to push the best thing that ever happened to me away and turn my back on her. I stayed out of town a couple of extra days because I didn’t trust myself. I thought the extra time away from her would help me to do what needed to be done.” Pulling his hair at the roots, trying to use the pain to center himself, he continued, “I am a coward. I couldn’t stand to lose someone else like I did Craig. The thought of letting her go has been eating me alive, but I was still going to do it. I was going to take her to dinner, probably make love to her because I wouldn’t be able to stop myself, and then give her some version of the it’s not you, it’s me talk.”