Ella ran a critical eye over her reflection in the mirror. Declan had said to dress casual this evening and she hoped that the Capri slacks and sleeveless top that she was wearing fit the bill. She had only seen him briefly since this morning, just long enough to confirm their date for this evening. He had seemed scattered and distracted. Butterflies danced in her stomach when she heard his firm rap at the door. Even his knock sounded sexy. Gosh, she could be such a pathetic girl sometimes. Opening the door she thought to herself as she saw him, oh yeah, it gets even better.
“Hey, Ellie.” Before she could answer, he was through the door and she was in his arms. She lost track of their surroundings as he devoured every inch of her mouth. She heard his answering moan when she lowered her hand and slid it along his firm butt. It might be a bit superficial of her, but she loved this part of his anatomy. It was tight and firmly muscled, just begging to be stroked. Down girl. You don’t have to make up for years of missed sex all in one month. Do try to have a little control. She couldn’t control the giggle that slipped out as she tried to give herself a pep-talk.
As Declan pulled back to look at her inquiringly, she muttered, “Whoops, sorry.”
He rubbed his thumb over her cheek as he said, “I hope your hand on my ass and the laugh that followed isn’t related.”
Ella patted him one more time on the area in question and shook her head. “Nope, I was just trying to talk myself into having some self-control where you are concerned.” She promptly wanted to kick herself for admitting that to him. She needed to work on the bad habit she had of blurting out whatever was on her mind without thinking about it first.
Chuckling, Declan pulled her further into her apartment and toward the couch. “Don’t go doing that on my account, Ellie, I like you just fine the way you are. How was your day?”
Ella groaned and fell down on the couch dramatically. “My mom finally got me on the phone. I was afraid she would come in person if I kept avoiding her calls.”
Giving her a sympathetic look, he asked, “How did that go?”
“Ugh, about how I expected. She ranted for a while and then told me how embarrassed she would be if anyone else found out. The worst part was the speech on safe sex. I think I’m scarred for life.”
Declan pulled her into a hug. “Sorry, baby, I bet that was rough. She isn’t planning to make another surprise visit anytime soon is she?”
“I don’t think so, but you can never be sure where she’s concerned.”
“Let’s just cover our bases and stay at my place then.”
“Deal.” Pulling back slightly, she looked up at him and asked, “So how was your day? You seemed a little stressed.”
She had been expecting him to laugh it off as something work related so she was surprised and a bit wary when he took a deep breath and took her hand. Surely, he wouldn’t have mentioned staying at his place if he were going to end things between them. But there was definitely something that he appeared to be trying to work his courage up for. “Declan?”
“Ellie . . . I don’t quite know where to start. Hell, I’m still in shock myself so how can I expect you to react better.”
When he paused as if looking for a starting point, she squeezed his hand in encouragement. “You’re starting to scare me. Just start at the beginning. You obviously need to get whatever it is out.”
“I know . . . you’re right. This morning Claire had a friend with her at the office.” Ella nodded her head to let him know she had seen her. “Well, I ran into them in the hallway and she seemed to know me. She even called me by name.” At her sudden stiffening, he rubbed her arm saying, “I know what you’re thinking and you are partly right, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what has happened. Just hear me out.”
“Okay, sorry. Please go on.”
“She asked if we could go somewhere to talk and we settled on meeting around the corner for lunch. Before you think the wrong thing Ellie, there wasn’t anything sexual about it. She obviously knew me and I was curious enough to see why seeing me had her so rattled, so I went.” Ella urged him on when he stopped to gauge her reaction. “I’m not proud of the fact that one-night stands were the norm for me when I was in the military and she was one of them. I thought at first that she was just there to question me about why I never called her or something like that even though it seemed a bit strange to go to that much trouble years later.”
“That wasn’t it, was it?” Ella asked softly.
“No . . . it wasn’t. She informed me that she has a son and I’m the father.”
She had guessed that as he had filled in some of the blanks, but she was still shocked enough to gasp when he finally confirmed it. “Wow, I . . . wow. Are you sure? Do you remember her at all?”
“She looked vaguely familiar to me and I remember the party she mentioned. She did show me a picture of a boy that looked similar in coloring to me. I’ll confirm it though with a paternity test just to be certain.” Worry was evident in his gaze when he turned to focus on her. “I know you didn’t sign on for this and I’ll understand if it’s just too much for you to handle.”
Ella gave him a smile of encouragement and chose her words carefully. “You’re right. I never expected this type of situation when we started dating. It means a lot to me that you are telling me now, before things go further. I don’t think I’d be who you think I am if I walked away now. I’m here for you in any way that you need me. If this child is your son, then I would be honored to meet him and spend time with you both.”
Declan pulled her against his chest in a tight hug. “I’m so glad to hear you say that because I would love for you to come to McDonald’s with me tonight to meet him.”
“Oh my God! You’re meeting him tonight?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing formal. Julie is going to take him to the playground there and asked us to drop by and be introduced as friends of hers. She doesn’t want to mention anything around him about me being his father. I don’t think she trusts me to stick around since, rightly so, her opinion of me isn’t very high.”
“Well, why didn’t she tell you when she found out she was pregnant and at least give you a chance?”
“She claims she tried to find my contact information from the military, but they weren’t very forthcoming which is probably true. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on bullshit and she seemed nothing but sincere.”
“I’d be happy to go along tonight, Declan, if you don’t think it will make things more awkward?”
He sagged against her in relief. “Thank you. I already told her that I wanted to bring someone along. I . . . I don’t want to go alone.” Taking a quick look at his watch, he stood up and pulled her to her feet. “We need to head out.”
Ella let Declan settle her in his car and was relieved when he turned on the radio. It seemed they both needed time to ponder the meeting ahead without having to make conversation. It was amazing how far off-track this evening had veered from what she had been expecting. Declan had a son or supposedly did. He seemed to be handling it remarkably well.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She loved kids and would, of course, love a child of Declan’s even more. Probably the biggest thing she had felt initially other than surprise had been fear. She was attached to Declan. Even though they had only been dating a short time, they had formed a bond over the last few months before they had actually taken the relationship to the next level. She knew it was selfish, but she was afraid of what this would mean for them as a couple. Would this be so overwhelming for him that he would need to step back from her to concentrate on his son?
She was also curious about the child’s mother. She had seen her with Claire briefly that morning, but didn’t remember anything other than thinking she was pretty. Declan had said that there was nothing sexual about their conversation and that it had centered squarely on the child, but would it remain that way? He was such an attractive man and the attraction must have been mutual since they had slept together once before. She felt her head spinning as she thought of all the different scenarios that were possible there. Her mother always said that life never gave you more than you could handle, but she had a feeling her life was about to put that saying to the test in the not so distant future. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost jumped out of her skin when Declan laid a hand on her leg.
“You were a million miles away, Ellie. I know it’s not fair of me to dump this on you so soon. Is this crossing the line? I can drop you at home if you aren’t comfortable with this.”
She laid her hand on top of his and knew that for tonight, she needed to be the stronger person in their relationship. He had asked her to be a part of one of the biggest moments in his life and she needed to stop thinking about how this would affect her and worry about how it was affecting him right now. If she freaked out over this, he wasn’t likely to include her in any other activities that included his son. Funny, it wasn’t a question to her whether this was his child, she knew deep down that this was no false alarm and Declan seemed to feel the same. “I’m good, I promise. It’s a lot to take in, but I’m here for whatever you need.” He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. She felt that tingle that she always felt when he touched her.
When they pulled into the parking lot, she wanted to laugh at the look on his face. There were kids jumping in and out of cars and minivans and they had to wait on one family of six to cross in front of their car before they could park. Smiling to herself, she had to wonder how many times he had been in a McDonald’s over the years. He didn’t strike her as a fast-food type of guy and certainly not one that catered to children.
He took her hand like a lifeline when they reached the sidewalk. “Showtime.” Somehow his statement seemed more like a question. She nodded her head in agreement and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before they walked inside. “Julie said we should get food so that it doesn’t look strange that we’re here,” he said. They both settled on a quarter pounder and fries. His pace got slower and slower as he carried their tray toward the loud play area. “That looks like total hell in there,” he muttered.
Ella had to laugh. It was adorable that he was terrified to go into a room full of kids. “You can do it; I’ve got your back. They usually don’t bite.”
“Bite? Damn, are they kids or animals?”
Shaking her head, she said, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but that goes the same for most people. Do you see Julie?”
Declan looked through the glass enclosure and pointed to Julie sitting in a back booth with a small, dark-haired little boy beside her. Ella almost plowed right into his back when he suddenly froze in place. He turned to her with a look of true panic on his face. “I don’t think I can do this.”
She had been impressed and surprised that he was taking something this huge so well. But here was the true evidence of what he was feeling. Looking at him now, she knew he had been operating on pure adrenaline and now he was crashing. She pulled him gently away from the windows before Julie could see them and took the tray from his hands. “Sit down here for a moment and take a deep breath.”
“Ellie, I . . .”
“I know, Declan, and it’s okay. This is big. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. If you really don’t think you can handle it, we will walk right out that door. If we do though, you’ll be back. Maybe not tonight, but soon after. Despite how overwhelming this is, you won’t let yourself walk away from responsibility. You aren’t built that way.”
“I’ve walked away from people time and again, why would this be any different?”
Ella put her hand on his chest and looked up into his troubled eyes. “Those women knew the score. I know you never made any promises to them. This is quite possibly your son though, and that isn’t something you could live with. You won’t be able to stay away, I know you well enough to know that. Now we go in there, keep it casual, and just see how it goes. He isn’t going to know you are his father so there’s no pressure. I’ll be right beside you and we can leave anytime you need to.” She hid a smile when she saw him visibly square his shoulders. His temporary panic attack seemed to be subsiding and the self-assured man that she knew was coming back.
Giving him another encouraging smile, she watched while he picked their tray back up. Before he started forward once again, he turned to her and whispered, “Thank you, baby.”
Is it wrong to think that was one of the sexiest things he has ever said to me? He was depending on her to get through this. Plus, having a man like Declan call you baby was something that women everywhere probably fantasize about. Just that simple sentence for some reason boosted her self-confidence and he wasn’t the only one doing some shoulder squaring as they walked toward the door of the playground. The noise was deafening when they walked through the door and made a path through running and screaming kids to reach the table.