As I sit outside eating my breakfast I can't stop thinking about how much things have changed yet again. When I first got here I felt like the world was against me. I spent two months in my room hating my life and every one around me. Every day it was a struggle for me to get out of bed there were days that I felt like I wasn't going to make it but I'm still here and to top it of tomorrow I'll be on a plane going back to where I belong. This time around I don't have to be looking over my shoulder waiting for some one to snatch me up. "What you're doing?" Sam ask as she takes the seat across from me. "Taking in the view" I answer. If there is one thing I regret is the fact that I didn't enjoy Dubai. It really is a beautiful place. She looks around and nods in agreement "It's a beautiful place".
"How are you holding up?" I cross my legs as I study her. I know that me leaving is really hitting her hard. She tilts her head back to rest it on the chair as she looks at the sky "I'm okay". Just the fact that she isn't looking at me let's me know she is lying but I'm not going to make this harder for neither of us. I follow her lead and enjoy the sun on my face "You know I'll always be one call away" a tear rolls down my face and I quickly wipe it away. If I start crying I'm not going to be able to stop and I still got tomorrow to go. "Yeah I know" her voice comes out raspy I'm sure she is fighting her own tears back.
The sun feels great on my skin I have to get enough sun before I go back to New York. I'm excited to see the snow! I've been waiting for this moment since I was a little girl. I always dreamed of having a snowy Christmas. "Are we going to see each other again?" Sam says after a long period of silence. My eyes fly open as I snap my head towards her direction "Of course we are silly you can come and visit me when ever you want". She turns her face to look at me with tears in her eyes "Any time?". My heart hurts hearing how upset she sounds. "Come here" I tap my legs for her to come take a seat on my lap. I used to do this every time Sam was feeling upset about anything. I would rock her in my arms while I sang to calm her down. I lean back into my chair as Sammy walks over and jumps onto my lap. Things has change since the last time I rocked her. For one she is much heavier and two she barley fits on my lap. I can hear her head turning from all the way out here. "What's going on up there" I tap her head as I try keeping her on my lap. She drops her head on my shoulder "I feel like I'm losing you" her confession finishes breaking my heart.