“Your manipulation won’t work. There is no way in hell I’d spend Christmas with my beloved family. I’d rather have my fingernails plucked out with pliers,” Ash bit out.
Jace sighed. Same old shit. Every fucking year. He was convinced they only wanted Ash around so they’d have someone new to torment. When Ash had been younger, he’d made the attempt to keep peace, to be a good son and brother. He’d attended the family gatherings—such as they were.
The first two years, he’d gone alone. Gabe and Jace had immediately noticed a difference. Ash had brooded for weeks after and it had taken a long time for him to get back to himself. After the second year of that shit, Jace and Gabe put two and two together and the next year, they’d insisted on going with him. After that experience, they both had vowed never to allow Ash anywhere near his family without a solid support network.
It may seem ridiculous, but Ash’s family was fucking poison.
After a few years of either Jace or Gabe or both accompanying him and witnessing firsthand the dysfunction that was the McIntyre family, Ash had told his family to fuck off and he hadn’t gone back. Not for lack of trying on their part. Jace knew that Ash was deeply shamed by his friends seeing his family and instead of letting them continue to see his family in action, he’d simply pulled the plug. Which suited Jace just fine. Ash was a better person when he wasn’t around the cesspool. He was happier.
“We’re done with this conversation. Don’t call back. I won’t take your call next time,” Ash warned.
He hung up the office phone and then swiveled in his chair. He did a double take when he saw Jace standing in the doorway and then he frowned.
“What are you doing here? Would have thought you had shit to do.”
Jace sighed again and sauntered farther into the office. He slouched in one of the chairs along the wall and put his hands behind his back, leaning so he could pull Ash into his gaze.
“Look, man, I was an asshole. You know it. I know it. I also know you just got finished talking to your bitch of a mother and now you’re in a shitty mood so you’ll bite at me. I deserve it, so I’m okay with it. What I’m not okay with is this space between us.”
Ash’s lips tightened. “You put it there, man.”
“Yeah, I get that too. I’m trying to apologize here, Ash. Don’t be a hard ass. Let me do it.”
Ash leaned back and drawled in a familiar tone that sent relief through Jace’s chest, “The mighty, arrogant, demanding bastard Jace Crestwell humbling himself to make an apology? Do go on. This I gotta see.”
“Fuck you,” Jace muttered. But he was already grinning.
Family.
Just as he’d observed in Gabe’s office. Just as he knew—had always known. This was his family. And it was a family he wanted Bethany to have too.
“Now that’s an unusual apology,” Ash said. “Fuck you . . . I’m sorry . . . They sound almost the same.”
Jace laughed. “God, you are such a dickhead.”
Just as quickly, he sobered and met Ash’s gaze.
“I’m sorry, man. I was a dick. I overreacted. I know you were trying to help. Trying to look out for me. I appreciate it. More than you know. But I’m good. I promise. You may think I’m crazy. That I’ve lost all perspective. But I’ve got this. I’m solid.”
“What do you have?” Ash asked curiously. “You have to see this from my perspective, man. We have a threesome with a woman. Not unusual. Woman disappears next morning. Not unusual. The only atypical part of this equation is that she walked away instead of us issuing her the walking papers. So when you go apeshit over the fact she left, I’m thinking, okay, he’s pissed because he wasn’t the one cutting her loose this time. And I get it. Maybe you weren’t done with her. You’re a control freak like me. You like to make the rules. She broke them when she walked out. What I did not expect was for you to turn the city upside down looking for her.”
Jace sighed. Yeah, when Ash described it, things sounded bad.
“If you could have seen yourself these last two weeks, Jace. You looked like shit. You were absentminded. The very last thing on your mind was work. Mia came in to see you twice and you blew her off both times.”
Jace’s brows came together. “Bullshit. She didn’t come in to see me.”
Ash sighed. “You don’t even remember her coming in? Or do you just not remember being a dick to her?”
“Christ. She really came to see me?”
Ash nodded. “You bit her fucking head off, which prompted Gabe to want to bash your skull in. I told him to back off, that you were having a bad day.”
“Shit.”
“So there you are, barely existing in those two weeks. Acting like some insane, obsessed person. So I do some checking. Then you find her and go off half-cocked. Then I don’t see you again until a few minutes ago and you act like nothing happened. All of this after you told me to stay out of it and that it didn’t concern me.”
Jace blew out his breath and rubbed his hand over the top of his head. “Okay, you’ve made your point. I was a dick. That was out of line and we both know it.”
Ash made a rude noise. “I don’t give a fuck that you were a dick. You think this is about my feelings being hurt? I’m worried about you, Jace. Worried about how wrapped up in this woman you are. I’m worried that she’s all wrong for you and you can’t see it because she’s got her fingers wrapped around your balls.”
Jace breathed through the instant surge of anger that hit him. Ash was his friend. He was worried. Jace was going to be rational about this if it killed him.
“She needs me,” Jace said, fully aware of how lame it sounded. But fuck, he couldn’t even explain it himself. How the hell was he supposed to explain it to Ash?
Ash studied him a long moment and then his lips parted with a sigh. “This is going to piss you off, but it needs to be said. I could back off, let you do your thing, but we both know if the situations were reversed and this was me acting the way you’ve been acting that you’d be in my face and you wouldn’t back off. So hell if I’m going to do it. You’re my brother. More of a brother than my own. You and Gabe both. We busted his balls over Mia. He deserved it. Now I’m going to bust yours over Bethany. Because someone has to.”
Jace’s fingers clenched and he was tempted to walk out. But Ash’s words seared through his anger, effectively taking the wind out of his sails. They were brothers. In every sense of the word. And yeah, he wasn’t so pissed off that he didn’t realize he’d absolutely be busting Ash’s balls if his friend had pulled a stunt like this.
“Just say it then,” Jace said in resignation.
“You took care of Mia for a lot of years,” Ash said in a quiet tone. “Always looked out for her. Hell, you were father and brother to her. She needed you. Now suddenly she doesn’t. Not in the way she did before. She’s no longer your responsibility. She has Gabe and her focus is going to be primarily on him.”
“What are you getting at?”
Ash blew out a long breath. “Don’t you find it ironic that within days of Mia becoming engaged to Gabe that your head is turned by a woman in need? And I don’t dispute she needs help, Jace. I’m not an asshole. Her situation is ten kinds of fucked up. But the fact is, you’re a provider. A caretaker. And Bethany is your Kryptonite. She’s down on her luck. She’s pretty. And you like the idea that she needs you. Have you considered that maybe you need a break from being a sole provider and that maybe you should live a little without becoming weighted down by another person in need?”
“What the fuck is all of that?” Jace demanded. “Are you even listening to yourself? Mia wasn’t some kind of goddamn weight. She’s my sister. I’m her only family. I have never once resented having to take care of her.”
Ash held up his hand. “You know damn well that’s not what I’m saying. Pull your head out of your ass. Mia belongs to all of us. I never suggested for one minute that she was some kind of unpleasant burden. I was there while she grew up. I have almost as much invested in her happiness as you do, okay? That’s not my point. Mia was never my point. My point is that you’re at loose ends now that Mia has Gabe and she no longer needs you in the same way she did before. And you latched on to Bethany, who is like Mia only ten times more in need. You saw a woman in need and that appealed to the provider in you. Not saying it isn’t noble. Not saying you’re a dick for wanting to help her. What I am suggesting is that you’re in too deep and that you need to take a step back and gain some perspective. You can help her without becoming so fucking emotionally invested. What do you really know about her? You’re acting like you’re goddamn soul mates and you know fuck all about her.”
“I’m going to ask you to shut up now before you really piss me off,” Jace bit out.
“So I’m wrong?”
Hell yes he was wrong. Wasn’t he?
Shit.
All that psychological crap Ash spouted spun around in Jace’s mind. And it was crap.
When all else failed, honesty was always the best way to go. It wasn’t as if he and Ash weren’t always straight with one another. The idea of trying to dissect whatever this was—this obsession with Bethany, as Ash had labeled it—made him twitchy.
Jace dragged a hand through his hair and was tempted to pull it out in frustration. “Look, Ash. I won’t bullshit you by saying I have all the answers, okay? But if you’re trying to say that I have some kind of savior complex when it comes to Bethany, you’re wrong. I was interested in her from the moment I saw her at Mia’s party and I damn sure didn’t know all the crap about her that I know now. I didn’t know she was homeless or that her situation was so crappy. I just knew I wanted her. And that didn’t change when I found out all this other stuff. All it did was make me more determined that I was going to be a part of her life.”
Ash’s expression grew pensive but he remained silent as Jace struggled with how to explain his reaction to Bethany.
“How fucking shallow would it be of me to back away from her once I found out that her situation isn’t the best in the world? Like she’s suddenly not good enough for me? That shouldn’t matter, right? If I was interested in getting close to her before then, that shouldn’t change just because she doesn’t measure up to my financial status or because she doesn’t have a place to sleep.”
“Christ,” Ash muttered. “Now I feel about three inches tall.”
Jace stifled the smile that twitched the corner of his mouth. It would be okay. Ash was nothing if not a huge softie. Especially when it came to women. Ash may not have acted like it, but Jace knew that at the core of this all was Ash’s deep concern for him. He got that. He appreciated it. But Ash had to understand that this wasn’t some fucking charity case.
“I’m guessing I won’t be invited to another threesome,” Ash said dryly.
Jace scowled and Ash held up his hands.
“I get it. She’s yours.”
“This isn’t a joke,” Jace said darkly. “I’d like to forget that threesome ever happened. And when you see Bethany—and you will see her—I really don’t want this to be a topic of conversation. It’s going to be awkward as hell. I don’t want her to be embarrassed. I don’t want to give her any reason at all to back away. I’m already having one hell of a time making her see things my way. And I really want to forget the fact that you’ve seen her naked. That you’ve had your dick in places that, from now on, are mine and mine alone.”
Ash shook his head, his expression priceless. “Holy fuck, man. You’re serious. I mean, really serious. I never thought in a million years that you’d fall so fucking hard for a woman in so short a time. How long did it take? Five minutes? Hell, I should have seen it that night, but how could I have? You’ve never acted that way over a woman. You were growly and possessive from the start but I ignored it.”
Ash leaned forward, his arms planted on the desk. “I know I asked this but now I really have to ask. If you felt this way about her, then why the hell didn’t you just tell me? That night should have never happened. For God’s sake, why did you let me fuck her?”
Jace closed his eyes briefly and when he reopened them Ash was staring a hole through him. There was genuine confusion in his friend’s eyes. And regret. As though he feared that night was forever going to be a bone of contention between them. Jace didn’t want it to be. Maybe he was being naïve. It was fact that Bethany and Ash would cross paths again. If she was going to be a part of Jace’s life—and she absolutely was—then she and Ash would see each other a lot. He wasn’t about to turn his back on a friendship that was as deep as any blood tie. But what if it made things forever awkward?