“Thanks for keeping me company,” she said to Felix then smiled at a still-grinning Hector. “I’ll see you guys later.”
As she hurried to the ladies’ room, she played back what had just happened and all the other conversations she’d had with him lately.
“You are not jumping to any conclusions,” she muttered under her breath. “So he’s a flirt. This shouldn’t surprise you.”
It was a decent argument except for the fact that Carmen wasn’t the only one who’d observed Felix’s questionable behavior around Ella. Drew had said something similar but a bit cryptic when he’d come over to say hello to them the day Drew had come down to film Ella’s class.
“Does he come in here a lot?” Drew had asked when he’d left the classroom.
“Not really” had been Ella’s vague answer.
“Not at all” would’ve been a more correct answer. The only other time he’d gone into her class was the day they’d all walked in so Drew could talk to her. But already even back then Ella had a feeling why she was asking. So she hadn’t wanted to give Drew too much to speculate on. The idea that Felix might actually be interested in anything with Ella still felt so preposterous it made her face hot.
All Drew had said after that was “interesting.”
Ella refused to refuel that uncomfortable topic, so she hadn’t asked her what she meant. She finished gathering herself in the ladies’ room and finally walked out toward her classroom. Carmen was already headed her way with that look on her face. That overly excited I-have-something-to-tell-you expression. What now?
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“That you and Felix were sharing a juice and holding hands?”
Ella felt her face flush instantly. “What?” She tried her damnedest to act as though the very idea was farfetched as it should be. “We weren’t sharing a juice.”
Carmen’s eyes opened even wider. “Oh my God, you’re blushing. You never blush.” She stopped in front of Ella, forcing Ella to stop too. “Please tell me you’re not keeping something this big from me. I’m your best friend! That would be like a mortal sin or something. You’d be breaking some kind of rule or code, a very bad one with, like, massive bestie repercussions, Ella!”
They were turning a few heads, and Ella shushed her. “Do not shush me!” Carmen said in a very loud whisper then thankfully lowered her voice. “Was he or was he not holding your hand?”
“Yes, he did,” Ella finally conceded as her silly friend gasped, smiled big, and then brought her hands over her mouth, practically jumping in place. “But not like what you’re thinking. We were talking about my mom, and I got a little misty-eyed, so he touched my hand and maybe picked it up for a few moments. Jesus, that got around fast. Who told you?”
Ella tried to sound annoyed to cover up the mixture of excitement and utter fear she was suddenly feeling. This was getting too real. Not only had it really happened and not in the toned down way she’d explained it, but word about it was getting around this fast?
Before she let the fear paralyze her and the thrill of this make her lose sight of reality, she reminded herself once again this kind of flirtation was probably something that came so naturally to a guy like Felix. And that’s all this was. Nothing more. She wouldn’t let her heart run with this, over-thinking this like her mind was already doing. More than anything, she could not, would not, get caught up in something like this. If there was something she knew already, while she could easily control her reaction to many things—easily manipulate her nerves to appear to be undaunted even under the most intimidating circumstances—her heart was a whole other story.
She had no control over what it felt or did. The unrestrained pounding it continued to do now even as she tried to appear carefree about this whole thing was further proof of this. Her only choice now, if this was really happening, was to go into full protective mode. Protect her heart at all costs or pay dearly if she chose to believe even for a minute that this might be anything more than a flirtation—a flirtation that she needed to steer far, far away from.
~*~
Felix
It’d been well over a week since Felix’s conversation with Ella at the juice bar. Since then, they hadn’t had a conversation where he felt as close to her as he had that day. He finally decided to address something he’d been wondering about. It might help him get his shit straight. If he at least had a schedule to work with, he could work out a way to casually run into her every day until he could figure out what the hell he was going to do about this. So far all this time he hadn’t known if she was coming or going.
Over a month since he’d begun his informal training, Felix was still trying to figure it out, but by then he knew one thing for sure. He was very attracted to her now. Not just in that usual he-could-already-picture-her-under-him way. Not that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind—more than once. Ella was constantly on his mind now, and he hadn’t even kissed her. Aside from that one time he got to hold her hand for too short of time, there’d been nothing more than exchanged smiles and prolonged gazes. He was fairly certain she’d picked up on his attraction to her, but beyond that there was nothing more. How was it even possible that he could feel so hung on someone he’d yet to even kiss?
Not just that, he still wasn’t even sure what, if anything, he should do about it. He couldn’t even bring himself to ask for some kind of schedule from her. Not even something simple and innocent like are you usually here in the day or evenings. Half the time he had no idea if she’d be in that day or not. Asking her or anyone else still felt risky. Someone would wonder why he wanted to know, and he still wasn’t sure of that answer. Why did he want to know so badly?