She’d been reading in his library again with Larry sprawled out next to her. Running her fingers back and forth over Larry’s fur, she continued reading, completely engrossed in a book she hadn’t read in a while about a cancer survivor. Ella needed the inspiration. As strong as she was trying to be for everyone, she’d had some real dark moments where she’d been terrified of the worst.
The door creaked open, and she looked up to see Felix smiling at her. He pulled a long-stemmed rose from behind him and held it out. She smiled but this worried her.
“Why are you home so early?”
“Baby, it’s almost nine.” Felix came over to kneel down next to the chaise she was lying on as she reached out for her phone.
“Oh my God, it is. I must’ve really been swept up into this book because the time just flew.”
“You’re wearing the wig,” he said, looking up at her with a sweet smile. “It looks good on you. I’m glad you finally gave into the idea.”
Ella touched her wig. When her hair had begun to fall out, she’d simply wrapped what was left of it in scarves like a turban. She insisted she didn’t need a wig, but some days she was so weary from the chemo sessions she just didn’t have the energy to wrap her head. Felix had insisted that getting a wig she could just put on would be easier and less exhausting. So she’d given in and they’d gone shopping for one, but she’d had it for over a week now and still hadn’t worn it. Today had been one of those days she just hadn’t had the energy for the hair wrap. Ella knew sexy was the last thing a sickly person could be thought of. She’d at least try to look presentable and less pitiable.
Looking down into his eyes as she got a better look now, she could see they were a little puffy and red. She stopped asking a while back if he’d been crying. He always had to admit he had, and she knew he hated to because he was trying so hard to be strong for her. She touched the side of his face, and he took her hand, kissing it softly, but didn’t look back up at her.
“I’m gonna fight this, Felix, and I’m gonna win.” He nodded but still didn’t look up. “I have way too much incentive to do so, and I’m too damn stubborn not to.”
He laughed softly, but she could see he wasn’t going to look up anytime soon unless she asked him to. “Look at me, Felix,” she said gently.
Felix took a deep breath then looked up, wiping the tears away. “I’m sorry,” he managed to say.
“Don’t be,” she said. “Come here.”
She patted the space next to her and scooted over a little. Felix sat next her, immediately wrapping his arms around her, and buried his face in her neck.
“It’s okay to be scared, Felix,” she said, caressing his head. “You don’t have to hold it in all the time. Seeing you like this only makes me wanna fight harder.” He nodded against her shoulder but held on for dear life, not pulling away at all. With a sudden oomph in her, she said something she knew she probably shouldn’t, but it felt right. “Let’s make a deal. You win your battle, and I’ll win mine.”
Ella had no doubt Felix could win this fight, if his heart was in it. She knew it wasn’t. It’d been such a challenge to get him to agree to go back to training and leave her side. The girls had come by and visited a few times. Ella had asked them to be honest with her and tell her the truth. Was Felix doing well with his training? They’d all exchanged glances, and though they said things that sounded positive, Ella knew better.
He finally looked up and she wiped his tears. “I know that focusing on your training and giving it your all with this on your mind is hard, as hard if not harder as it is for me to deal with having this.”
Felix shook his head immediately, looking almost mad. “God, Ella, don’t even compare the two. It makes me sound and feel like such a wuss—”
“Shh,” she said, placing a finger over his mouth. “I know what it’s like to live with the possibility of losing someone you love. I know how impossible it is to stay positive. And I remember how damn hard it all was. Now I’m on the other end. If anyone can compare the two, it’s me.” She ran her fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. “I can’t decide now which is harder. I was an absolute mess, and I didn’t have a championship fight to train for while dealing with it. So don’t tell me I can’t compare the two, because I can. What I’m saying is you can do this. If you can focus and give it your all even with all this on your mind for me—to be my inspiration—then I can do this for you. I promise.”
He hugged her again with that gentleness he’d been using ever since this all started as if he were afraid of breaking her. “I’d do anything for you.”
His strained words made her smile. “Then it’s a deal.”
~~~
Felix’s training had picked up as he promised. Nellie and Roni had paid her a visit, and they’d confirmed that he was doing much better.
“Noah said he seems a lot more determined.” Roni had said. “Almost as if he’s letting his anger out during training, but he said that’s a good thing. The training is a perfect outlet for it.”
“Abel said he still has his moments where he zones out but that’s to be expected,” Nellie had said. “Overall he said Felix has made a tremendous improvement.”
Two weeks before the fight Felix was already having serious second thoughts about leaving Ella to be at the fight. It’d be in Vegas, and Ella was too weak to travel.