"It would be untrue, and painful to both of us. You overrate my capacity for love. I don't possess half the warmth of nature you believe me to have. An unprotected childhood in a cold world has beaten gentleness out of me."
He immediately said with more resentment: "That may be true, somewhat; but ah, Miss Everdene, it won't do as a reason! You are not the cold woman you would have me believe. No, no! It isn't because you have no feeling in you that you don't love me. You naturally would have me think so -- you would hide from that you have a burning heart like mine. You have love enough, but it is turned into a new channel. I know where."
The swift music of her heart became hubbub now, and she throbbed to extremity. He was coming to Troy. He did then know what had occurred! And the name fell from his lips the next moment.
"Why did Troy not leave my treasure alone?" he asked, fiercely. "When I had no thought of injuring him, why did he force himself upon your notice!
Before he worried you your inclination was to have me; when next I should have come to you your answer would have been Yes. Can you deny it -- I ask, can you deny it?"
She delayed the reply, but was to honest to with hold it." I cannot." she whispered.
"I know you cannot. But he stole in in my absence and robbed me. Why did't he win you away before, when nobody would have been grieved? -- when nobody would have been set tale-bearing. Now the people sneer at me -- the very hills and sky seem to laugh at me till I blush shamefuly for my folly. I have lost my respect, my good name, my standing -- lost it, never to get it again. Go and marry your man -- go on!"
"O sir -- Mr. Boldwood!"
"You may as well. I have no further claim upon you.
As for me, I had better go somewhere alone, and hide -and pray. I loved a woman once. I am now ashamed.
When I am dead they'll say, Miserable love-sick man that he was. Heaven -- heaven -- if I had got jilted secretly, and the dishonour not known, and my position kept! But no matter, it is gone, and the woman not gained. Shame upon him -- shame!"
His unreasonable anger terrified her, and she glided from him, without obviously moving, as she said, "I am only a girl -- do not speak to me so!"
"All the time you knew -- how very well you knew -that your new freak was my misery. Dazzled by brass and scarlet -- O, Bathsheba -- this is woman's folly indeed!"