“You look beautiful,” I whisper.
She smiles at me and turns to the countertop behind her. “I’ve pulled out pretty much everything we’re going to need. We’ll start with the sugar cookies, then the chocolate chip, peanut butter, and we’ll do the Chex Mix last.”
“Wow.” Seth’s eyes are wide as he wipes his hand on a towel.
“I already made the sugar cookie dough because it had to set up in the fridge for a couple hours before we can roll it out.” She pulls it out of the fridge and motions for us to follow her to the kitchen table. “Who wants to roll it?”
“Me!” Seth exclaims and listens carefully as Jill shows him how to roll the dough with the rolling pin.
“Zack, would you please grab the cookie cutters over there?”
“Sure thing.”
There’s a small mess bag full of at least twenty different cookie cutters in all shapes and sizes. “Let’s do the palm trees,” I suggest, holding it up.
“It’s Christmas, Dad,” Seth reminds me with a roll of the eyes.
“Starfish?” I ask.
“I’m sensing a theme here,” Jill replies dryly. “Looking forward to summer?”
“I’m just teasing,” I reply and fish out the reindeer, Santa, and a gingerbread man.
“Go ahead and pull out the beach ball. We can make it into an ornament.”
Realizing he’s not going to get scraps anytime soon, Thor moseys over to his blanket and lies down with a loud sigh.
Jill watches Seth roll out the dough, stepping in now and again to give him some tips. Seth is grinning when the dough is ready to be cut.
“I wanna do the gingerbread men.”
I raise my brows at him, and he bites his lip then looks over at Jilly and adds, “Please.”
“Go ahead.” She nods and then steps next to him to show him the best way to position the cutter to get the maximum number of cookies from the dough.
“Dad, are you gonna cut some?” Seth hands me the beach ball with a smile.
“Sure.”
Jill takes the soft cookies from us and arranges them on cookie sheets as we cut them, then puts them in her double ovens when we’re done.
“Okay, sugar cookies are done. Next up: chocolate chip.”
“My favorite!” Seth exclaims and fist-bumps her. “Can we eat them hot from the oven?”
“Is there any other way to eat them?” she asks in a loud whisper.
Seth laughs and helps her clean up the sugar cookie mess on the table and all I can do is watch silently. My stomach is clenched, my chest aching, and it’s in this moment, as I watch this amazing woman with my son, that I know that I love her.
She’s it for me.
Now I just have to convince her of that.
Jill and Seth return to the kitchen to mix the dough for the next batch of cookies, and I know that this is as good a time as any to talk to Seth.
“You have flour on your cheek,” Jill says and rubs the white powder off Seth’s cheek.
“Seth, I have a question for you,” I begin softly and join them, pulling eggs out of the carton.
“I didn’t leave the lid off the orange juice again this morning. I promise.”
“Not about that.” I laugh and tousle his hair and then decide what the fuck and kiss his head.
“Yuck, Dad. Jill is here.”
Jill laughs and pulls Seth to her to plant her own lips on his head.
“There, we’re even.”
“You’re both weird.” His lips twitch as he fights his smile and he ducks his head, measuring the sugar like Jill showed him.
“I want to ask you what you think about me and Jill dating each other.”
Jill’s eyes widen as they whip up to mine and I offer her a reassuring smile.
“I don’t care.” He shrugs like it’s no big thing at all and continues measuring.
“Well, I’d like to date Jill, and I want to know how you feel about that.”
“Dad,” Seth replies with a long-suffering sigh, as though he’s the dad and I’m the kid, “I already know that you and Jill are dating.”
“You do?” Jill asks. “How?”
“I’m not stupid. You guys make gross googly eyes at each other all the time.” He rolls his eyes and then makes fun of the way we look at each other before dissolving in a fit of giggles. “Plus, if you really got caught at the ranch in the storm a few weeks ago, you would have stayed at Uncle Josh’s house.”
This kid is too smart for his own good.
“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Seth.” Jill frowns as she watches Seth mix the eggs and sugar in the bowl.
“Why would I be uncomfortable? Are you going to kiss and stuff like Uncle Josh and Cara do?”
“Absolutely,” I reply before Jill can and grin at her reassuringly. “I will kiss Jill.”
“Ugh, can you keep trying to do it when you think I can’t see you?”
I let out a loud laugh and pull my kid in for a quick hug. “I love you, son.”
“You have a girlfriend,” Seth taunts Zack, backing out of his grasp.
“I want you to know,” I begin seriously and hold Seth’s face in the palm of my hand, “Jill is very special to me, Seth. This isn’t like what you saw with your mom.”
“I’m not a little kid,” Seth replies with a shrug as Jill frowns at him, curious to hear more about what Seth saw, I’m sure. “But it’s cool. Jill’s fun and you’re happy, so . . .” He shrugs again, because shrugging is Seth’s favorite form of communication, and then frowns. “Are we going to bake cookies or talk about mushy stuff?”