"Yeah, I imagined that." He watched the road and his voice grew distant. "You were always so stubborn and proud. I used to worry about your pride, even when you were three . I always told Analise that it'd either make you or break you. I'm not sure which it is ."
I closed my eyes.
The car turned at an intersection. "I know you might have questions for me, but I'm not sure they're questions that I can answer. Analise always wanted me to keep quiet so I did. I loved her. And now…"
"You raised me all my life."
He stopped the car somewhere and held my gaze.
My heart thumped, it was so loud in my ears.
He looked emotionless, but then he turned away and pressed a hand to his mouth. "I did." He was choked up. "I did, Sammy." And he took a deep breath. "Listen, if you'd like I can give you a ride to school tomorrow. I know you won't ask anyone and you don't have your car right now."
I realized we were a block from the Kade mansion.
"I will be here at seven tomorrow morning, on the dot. You don't need to call or anything. Actually, don't call. I'll be waiting for you."
I jerked my head in a nod. He reached across me and opened my door. As I got out and used my elbow to shut it, he called out, "See you tomorrow, Samantha. Get some sleep tonight."
Like that was going to happen.
He sped away and I walked up the mansion's driveway. There was only one car parked in front, my mom's new convertible she'd gotten the week we moved in. My heart started to pound again when I went inside. And then I heard her voice. It grew louder until I found her in a library-like room with her back to me. She had a phone pressed to her ear.
"Yes, honey. I know that." Pause. "Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine. Samantha's adjusting just fine—well—no." She sighed. "I'm sure he's not that bad of a boy. Mason seems very sure of himself. No, I know. Yes….okay, honey. I'd like that a lot too." She listened to the other end for a minute. "Everything will work out wonderfully. I promise you."
Then she laughed. The sound peeled through the room and it jarred me. I jumped back and tried to block the pain from the movement.
"Okay. Yes. I love you too. Bye."
I opened my eyes in time to see her turn around. Her eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "Honey, I didn't know you were there. How are you?"
I waited.
She gasped.
She saw my hands.
"What did you do?"
When she came over and started to reach for one of them, I jerked away. "I'm fine. It's nothing."
"Were you in a fight?"
I fought against the urge to puke. All accusations, all questions I had went down my throat then. I didn't want to hear her lies. I wasn't sure if I could stomach more fake promises come out of her mouth either.
"I was trying to open this door, it was stuck, and someone banged it shut from the other side. They didn't see my hands."
"That's it?" my mother asked flatly.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing." She shook her head and plastered on a smile. "The boys are coming home soon. They had practice that ran late, but James and I wanted to have a family dinner. What do you think?"
"It'll suck."
She sailed past me. "Do you think they'd like meatloaf? They seem like the kind to like meat, maybe pasta? Chicken and pasta? The chef went home, I asked him to go. I wanted to cook this dinner by myself."
I scowled and followed her down the hallway.
She turned into the kitchen. "You want to help, honey? You could make your famous green bean dish. You always made that for Jeffrey."
"Can I invite him?"
Her laughter bounced off the walls. "Oh, honey. You're so funny. You must get that from your dad. David could be funny at times."
As she went into the kitchen, I went to my room. My skin felt like it was stretching off of me. My feet wouldn't stop moving. Dinner or no dinner, I had to get out of there or I'd be bouncing off the walls too.
When I had changed into my running shoes with my iPod on my arm, I hit the sidewalk. As I ran down the driveway, Mason's black Escalade pulled in. Logan's yellow one came behind, but I didn't look at either of them and started running.
I'd have to go back. I knew that. I couldn't keep running from my mom or what she'd done to our lives, but for now this was how I was going to deal with the storm that was happening inside of me.
At that point, I didn't care when I went back home. It could be long past midnight before I returned, preferably when everyone was asleep. I'd slip in, sleep, and sneak back out. I took a deep breath and pumped my arms higher in the air. This was going to be my life, until everything would crash underneath our feet.
It was only a matter of time.
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was late when I hobbled inside. At this point with my bloody hands, the weak legs, and how much I've been running, it was time to admit that I needed to cut back. Making myself numb might not have been the healthiest way to handle recent changes in my life, but I wasn't sure if I dared any other option. Talking had never been my strong suit.
As I passed a room, the light switched on.
I could feel Analise's anger from where I was and I hadn't looked yet.
So I did.
Her face was white, eyes strained, mouth pinched, and her arms were folded over her chest. My mother never folded her arms, it was deemed unladylike and too confrontational. Then her foot started to tap on the floor.