Suzy looked at Nick and her sister, and hopped off the bed. “So, I think I’m going to head out. Gray will be wondering if I’m working a street corner again.” When neither Beth nor Nick showed any surprise over her last sentence, she smiled. “No, please stop begging me to stay. I told you, I have things to do.” When she still got no reaction, she walked toward the bedroom door. “Call me when you two come up for air.” With another smirk, she was gone.
Nick couldn’t take his eyes off the woman in front of him. She was now standing before him, looking like Beth again. Her eyes were no longer empty. Instead, an emotion that he hoped was love shone from them. She looked young, fragile, and beautiful. The deep breath he took stuck in his throat when he saw her hands resting against the curve of her stomach. She usually wore a jacket when they walked so he hadn’t noticed the evidence of her advancing pregnancy. He felt his legs go weak at the miracle growing inside her. Dropping to his knees, he placed his hands over hers and tears blurred his vision. Lowering his head, he laid a tender kiss on her stomach.
“Ah, princess. Please tell me you’re back, because I can’t stand to lose you again.”
Beth dug a hand in his hair, rubbing his head soothingly. “I’m here, Nick. I . . . I just need you to hold me for a while.”
Nick gathered her in his arms and settled them on the bed. She spooned against his front while his arms came around her, linking gently over her stomach. His lips trailed down her neck as he breathed in her famililar scent. How he had missed having her in his arms. He never wanted to go to sleep or wake up again without her lying beside him.
He took a deep breath and hoped he didn’t scare her away. “So I know Suzy told you I went to see your parents today.” He felt her nodding against him and he continued. “I talked to your mom and dad for quite a while. I told them how damaging their comments on your weight have been to you. I also told them about our loss and, you may find this hard to believe, princess, but they were devastated.”
Beth jerked around to look at him. “No way. That’s not possible, Nick.”
“Honey, it is. It seems that my words to them that night at Suzy’s had gotten them thinking. I’m not saying that they have suddenly became Ward and June Cleaver, but they want to do better. I don’t think they really know how to be typical parents, so it may be a long road.”
“I don’t want to see them!” Beth said fiercely.
“I know, princess, and they aren’t going to push you. Let’s just file it away for another day, okay?”
He felt Beth relax against him. “They still insisted on calling me Nicholas or young man, though. Well, except for when I was leaving.”
Beth started giggling. “They were so glad to get rid of you that they slipped and said, ‘Good-bye, Nick’?”
Smiling, Nick said, “Nope. When I told them how much I loved their daughter, your father said, ‘Take care of my girl, son.’”
The room was deathly quiet and Beth had gone stiff in his arms. Maybe he should have tried a more romantic declaration of love. “He called you son?”
Nick pulled her around to face him. “You did catch the other part, right?”
Beth gave him an innocent smile, saying, “I don’t believe I did. Could you repeat it?”
He smiled at her indulgently as he said, “I love you, Beth Denton. Please be the woman by my side, the mother of my children, and the siren that I adore for the rest of our lives.”
Next, Nick pulled Beth on top of him and asked, “So, do you have anything to tell me, princess?”
Beth looked down at him just as her stomach growled. “I’m hungry?”
Nick dropped his arms in defeat. “Oh, God, I give up.”
Laughing, Beth lowered her lips to his and teased her tongue along his mouth’s seam. Just as his lips parted, she pulled back and said, “I love you, too, Nick. I was afraid I would never be able to admit that to you, or even to myself. But I do love you, so much. There is no one else on this earth that I would rather have as the father of my baby than you.”
Nick reached up and cradled her head with his hands to finish the kiss that she had started. Food was soon forgotten as they made up for the weeks they had been off course. Nick tried to take it slow but Beth urged him deep inside her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips. He was powerless to deny her anything and soon his hips were pumping in a hard rhythm. His heart melted as she told him several more times how much she loved him. Would he ever get tired of saying it or hearing it?
He now knew he had spent his whole life going from woman to woman never involving his heart because it was already taken. He was born to love this woman in his arms and to be the father of the child she carried . . . and all of the other children they would have. No matter where they were, she would always be home to him.
Beth snuggled against Nick as they ate a late dinner on the couch. She even turned on ESPN so he could watch football while they ate. She admitted that she had been hiding food in the couch. Nick paused with his slice of pizza hovering near his mouth. He dropped the pizza back to his plate and turned off the television. Pulling her onto his lap, he rested his forehead against hers. “Ah, baby, I had no idea. I wish you could have talked to me about what was going on in your head.”
A tear rolled down her cheek at the emotion in his voice. “Me too, but I couldn’t. It’s still hard. I . . . I have a problem, Nick. I would like to think that the trauma of what happened has cured me, but I can’t be sure. The fear has always been there just below the surface since I lost the weight. I could blame it on my parents, and they do deserve some of the blame, but not all of it.”
“Talk to me then, princess. Tell me why you feel the way you do because I see nothing but beauty regardless of what size you are.”
With a sniffle, Beth took a deep breath and admitted, “I’ve never liked myself. For a big part of my life, I was overweight and disgusted by the reflection in the mirror. I became so obsessed at avoiding mirrors that I only kept a small one to apply makeup. I avoided seeing my full body; it was too horrible. Finally, several years ago, I went to the mall to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding. The dressing room was made of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Suddenly, I could no longer escape the person looking back at me. I begged out of my friend’s wedding and, from that moment on, I only ate enough to get by. There was nothing healthy about the diet I put myself on, but it worked. I lost the weight and I lost it fast. If I thought my parents were critical before, it got even worse. They badgered me about regaining weight. I completely stopped eating in front of them. I moved out of their house and got my own place just to escape their scrutiny.”
Nick rubbed her back and waited quietly for her to continue.
“I finally found a happy balance with food. I found if I exercised every day, I didn’t have to exist on just the bare minimum. No matter what number the scales showed though, I still cringed every time I stood in front of a mirror. I wore small clothing sizes, but I still felt like one meal could change that immediately. I have lived in terror of gaining back the weight—as my parents predicted—and of never regaining control.”
“The pregnancy pushed you to the brink, didn’t it?” Nick asked quietly.
“Yeah, it did. When I found out, that is all I could think about: that I would gain weight and destroy everything I had worked for. I was still doing okay though, until that dinner with my parents. That pushed me right off the deep end. Having them voice all my fears, and pound away at my hard-won confidence snapped something inside me. From that moment on, my entire focus was avoiding food. I lied, I hid it, I did everything short of gagging myself, and I’m not sure how far away that was. I’m scared to know what the breaking point would have been for me, Nick.”
“Beth, you didn’t cause what happened. I told the doctor everything and she assured me that, although it could have caused you problems eventually, your diet had nothing to do with vanishing twin syndrome.”
“I know, but in the back of my mind I will always wonder, and there is no way to change that. It was a wake-up call that I never wanted to happen.”
“I hope this doesn’t make you mad, but I have been doing some research and there are some great groups in the area for people with eating disorders.” When Beth opened her mouth, Nick held his hand up and continued. “I would go with you, princess. You don’t have to decide right away, but I want to help you.”
Seeing Nick visibly braced for her answer made her heart melt. “Thanks, baby. I think that’s a good idea. I do have a problem and I can’t continue to believe that I can handle it on my own. I don’t want to pass on this type of body-image problem to our children. I need to learn to like myself.”
“Princess, you need to learn to love yourself, just as I love you. I love you for you. Whatever size you feel comfortable with is for you to determine. I never want you to think you have to resort to starving yourself for me. You are Beth to me, not a number on the scales.”
Beth wrapped her arms around Nick and wondered how it was that every painful moment in her life had brought her to this point. She might have a long road ahead of her, but with Nick by her side, the only thing that was important was the ride.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Beth climbed in Nick’s new SUV and buckled her seat belt. They usually rode to work together a few days a week when they had the same schedule. Tonight they were going to dinner before heading home. When Nick turned away from the city, Beth looked around curiously. “Where are we going?”
“I have to run by Gray’s. I still have his garage door opener and he’s raising hell about it.”
“Why didn’t you just give it to him or Suzy at the office today?”
“Oh, I just forgot. So we’ll drop it off and then go to dinner.”
Even for Nick, that was a strange explanation, but Beth had learned long ago to just go with it. Suzy probably sent him a nasty text message and threatened some other body part if he didn’t return it immediately. When they pulled in a few minutes later, she stayed in the car, thinking Nick would just run it in and they would be on their way. When he opened the door for her, she looked up in surprise. “I can just wait here.”
“No, come on in for a few minutes. I . . . I need to go to the bathroom.”
Oh geez, have we reached the point in our relationship where we talk about our bathroom habits? “Well, okay. I guess I can wait inside.” Nick took her hand and pulled her into the kitchen. When he turned around and swung her up in his arms, she thought he had lost his mind. “Nick, what are you doing?”
He sat her on the counter and stepped back. Was it her imagination or did he look nervous? “Princess, you know I love you.”
My God, is he going to break up with me in my sister’s house? “Yeah, I know, and I love you, too.”
“Good, good,” he said, fidgeting. “So most people spend anniversaries where they had their first date. They, um, also do other things where they had their first date.”
“Okay, sure.” Why does he look so terrified? When he suddenly dropped to one knee, the breath left her body. Oh my God!
“Beth, I’m worried that we didn’t have our first date in a more romantic location, but since this is where it all started, then it had to be the start of the rest of our lives together. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. My life was empty until you stormed into it. Please do me the honor of being my wife and the mother of my children. Also, please protect me from your sister’s threats for the rest of our lives.”
Nick pulled a ring box from his pocket. He opened the box, revealing a large princess-cut diamond ring sparkling against black velvet. He was looking at Beth as if his life depended on her answer.
Beth was crying, but she managed to nod her head, and then yelled, “Yes!” Nick slid the ring onto her finger and pulled her from the counter and into her arms. “I love you, Nick.” Beth sobbed as he twirled her in his arms.
When he placed her back on her feet, she pulled back and asked, “How in the world did you get Gray to give you his kitchen again?”
Nick laughed. “It wasn’t easy and I had to promise not to compromise the counters again. He said Suzy was going to the gym after work so she wouldn’t find out until it was too late. Apparently, she hasn’t forgiven us for our first ‘date’ in her kitchen.”
“Yeah, I still regret telling her that. She sure does hold a grudge.” Then, placing her arms around his neck, she said, “Of course, if that should happen again, I would never make the mistake of telling her.”
“Princess, I don’t think that’s a good idea . . .”
Beth pushed her body closer to his, running her hand down lightly and grazing his growing erection. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”