I sat there for another forty-two minutes, watching each tick by the light of my cell phone, praying it would ring again, that she’d call from an unblocked number, and I could track her down.
One call and I was in a dive, the only question being what kind of rock bottom I’d hit. I was supposed to protect her, to keep her safe. I’d promised her. I’d failed, ever the quintessential fuckup.
The sheets rustled. “Jagger?” Paisley sat and turned her head until she saw me. “Everything okay?” Her hair was wild, falling around her and catching the small rays from the streetlight like a halo. She hadn’t even been mine twelve hours, and I’d nearly left her to chase a ghost.
I shook my head.
Her feet made no noise as she came to me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head again.
Her lips parted, and her eyes practically dripped sympathy as she held out her hand. “Then come to bed.”
I took it, then stripped to my boxer briefs before climbing in next to her. She burrowed into me and lifted my hand to her waist, like she’d known touching her would bring relief. It did. She wound her fingers through mine and wiggled across the scant inch that separated us, pressing her body against me shoulder to toe.
Her breaths evened out into sleep, and I ran my fingers over her bare shoulder, savoring the soft skin. I fucked up almost everything in my life, but not her. I couldn’t let any of my shit storm touch her, mar her in any way.
Anna was the cycle I couldn’t manage to break—wouldn’t break. But what if it cost me Paisley? What if she didn’t understand?
I swallowed the fear, refusing to let it steal tonight, the heaven of holding her, when I’d been waiting so long. It crept in anyway, causing me to clutch her just a little tighter. I should have been ecstatic watching her sleep in my arms, but I could only focus on one fact.
Now I had something to lose.
Chapter Twenty
Paisley
13. Drive recklessly.
“Ah, you came prepared!” Ember sat next to me at the rink.
“I’ll get the hang of this.” I zipped my jacket.
She offered me a steaming cup from Starbucks. “I don’t drink coffee, but thank you kindly for the thought.”
“Jagger told me while you were up at Christmas. It’s hot apple cider.”
I took it from her gratefully. “I think I love you.”
“Now that,” Sam said, stealing the third cup from the carrying tray, “is my latte. I’m not sure I’ve missed these chilly Josh-watching dates, Ember.” She slid past me in stylish skinny jeans and boots, taking the other seat next to me.
“You like it and you know it,” Ember jibed.
“Well, now that drooling over Jagger is off the table…”
My gaze snapped to hers, one eyebrow raised. She got the point, and started laughing. “Oh, sweet little Paisley. I’m so glad you have some spunk under there!” She touched my arm in all seriousness. “I’m not interested in Jagger, I promise. I just wanted to make sure you really were.”
“Because driving to Nashville was just a little jaunt and all,” I said sweetly. “Christmas just seemed like the right time to alienate my parents for a little hay roll.”
She sputtered out her coffee. “Good God, you southern girls can say ‘go to hell’ with a smile on your face, huh?”
“Don’t worry, you’re not being insulted until someone blesses your heart or calls you sweet.”
She rested her feet on the chair in front of her. “Well, now that’s cleared up.”
“Are your parents talking to you yet?” Ember asked, eyes glued to Josh as he skated toward the goal. It was their third game this week, and their last for a while, since leave was over soon.
“Barely. It’s actually kind of nice.” I sipped the cider, relishing the warmth. “They’re throwing their annual party tomorrow night, so we’ll see how they take the Jagger news.”
“They don’t know you’re dating Jagger?” Ember asked, her eyes darting to mine.
“I figure tomorrow night is the best time to tell them. Too many witnesses for Mama to go postal, or Daddy to toss him off post.”
“They’re not Jagger fans?” Sam asked. “I mean, that tongue piercing of his and those tats…I guess he’s not really the guy you take home to Mom.”
Again, I couldn’t help but wonder what the history between them was, and she saw it on my face.
“Next-door neighbors, remember? Plus, girls on campus talked. Josh may have been a little man-whorish in his day, but Jagger…I’ve never seen him with the same girl twice.”
Ember cleared her throat. “Sam meant to say that we’ve never seen him in a committed relationship, and it’s so nice to see him maturing. Don’t let her scare you.” She reached around me and tugged on Sam’s hair. “Don’t be a wretch, Samantha.”
“But I’m good at it.”
I laughed. “You remind me of Morgan, my best friend. Y’all would definitely get along.”
“Did she get kicked out of school, too?”
I shook my head. “No, but she’s a kindred spirit. Come down to Alabama, and I’ll introduce you.”
“You want me that close to Jagger?” She waggled her eyebrows at me.
I took a long pull of my cider. “Don’t push your luck. But Josh and Jagger have made friends, you know…”