She stared at him, moonlight reflecting in her green eyes. "Say something. Even if it's to tell me I was an idiot for chasing after you and I deserved to end up as a vampire over it. At least that's better than silence."
Her naked honesty was so unlike his normal, guarded speech. Reason warned him to tell Kira she was right. That a human plunging herself into the vampire world without a protector usually did end up suffering serious consequences, but he couldn't utter that statement. Nor could he tell Kira the other thing that would be better for her to believe, even though it was a lie: that he cared no more for her than any of his other property.
Under the weight of her gaze, however, all of his cool logic crumbled and he found himself responding with the same raw honesty she'd shown him.
"I am Master of a large line of vampires and humans, and yes, I often do people's thinking for them. Moreover, I have betrayed almost everyone I've loved, including participating in my wife's murder and withholding important information from my co-ruler.
My other sins are too numerous to list, and I have certain death looming in my future, so as soon as you are able to control your condition, Kira, you would do well to forget me." She kept looking at him with that level, penetrating stare, no disgust or shock on her face. Mencheres waited, expecting any moment for his words to sink in and her reaction to change, but the minutes ticked away, and still her expression didn't alter from thoughtful contemplation.
"I'm getting hungry," she said at last, turning away and starting back through the woods toward his house.
He gazed at her retreating back in astonishment. Where were her reprimands? The castigation of his character that so many others would be quick to oblige him with were he to have said the same to them? Furthermore, he didn't sense an oncoming attack of hunger from Kira, but perhaps she was shielding it. Or learning to anticipate her cravings.
He gave his head a slight shake and followed after her, leaving his shirt behind on the ground. He'd already have too many memories of tonight without a tangible memento to torment himself with.
Despite that, he licked his lips one more time, absorbing Kira's taste and remembering the feel of her shuddering in pleasure on top of him. If he'd known she'd searched for him, that her desire was not wholly based on her new, uncontrollable senses, would he have had the strength to refuse her before?
No. The answer reverberated all through him, followed immediately by another taunting question.
Now that he knew these things, would he have the strength to stay away from her?
Chapter 18
Kira forced herself to set the mug down even though there was still a swallow left in it.
She slid it across the table to Gorgon.
"I'm done."
The words were perhaps the hardest she'd uttered, yet she felt an accompanying swell of pride even through the howls of hunger that demanded she snatch that mug back and lick every drop from it.
Gorgon grinned at her. "Only your fifth day undead. You're a strong one, aren't you?" Kira allowed a tight smile to cross her face. "Years of dieting make lots of women tough when it comes to controlling our appetites. Who knew that saying no to desserts would turn out to be boot camp for becoming a vampire?"
Gorgon laughed, taking her cup and rinsing the remaining blood out in the sink. Kira noted that he never drank from the bags that compromised the entirety of her meals, but he did disappear several hours each night. She hoped he varied his donors, or that their nearest neighbors weren't anemic.
He tossed Kira a bottle of water from the refrigerator next. She drank it, grimacing at how it tasted now, but having already been warned that drinking water was important during her first couple weeks as a vampire. It seemed her new body burned through all the sustenance it received from blood without leaving anything left over to keep her from looking like a grape left too long in the sun. Kira hadn't asked how it was possible that she could drink or eat, but no longer had any need for a toilet. Some vampire mysteries she wasn't prepared to have explained to her yet.
On the plus side, she'd never have to deal with her period again, but having motherhood yanked out from under her was rough. Still, Tina had weathered the same inability to get pregnant due to her disease. Kira wouldn't let herself fall into a slump over her similar new childless state, especially since she could always adopt, way in the future when she'd come to terms with everything her new existence entailed.
"Now." Gorgon turned around, holding out an egg carton. "Let's try this again." Kira eyed the egg crate with a mix of frustration and determination. A simple rule for new vampires was that if they couldn't handle egg cartons without breaking the eggs, then they couldn't be around humans without running the risk of inadvertently crushing them with a casual touch. In the past several days, Kira had demolished more egg crates and had her hands coated in more yolk than she wanted to remember. She still felt like she had some of that sticky substance stuck between her fingernails no matter how she scrubbed, but she was getting better. She managed not to rip doors off anymore, or leave holes instead of footprints in the floor, and the last egg carton she'd handled only had one broken egg in it when she was done.
Kira walked over to Gorgon, chanting "gentle, gentle" in her mind as she reached for the carton. When she managed to take it from Gorgon's open grasp without any egg guts streaming out onto her hands, she grinned.
"Ha!" Looked like the fiftieth time was a charm.
Gorgon's smile was proud. "Now, if you can open it and take some eggs out without breaking them, you're almost ready to be around humans again."
Very slowly, Kira opened the container and touched the top of an egg. It didn't break, to her relief. Now all she had to do was take it out.
In her peripheral vision, she noticed Mencheres walk by. That was how she'd mostly seen him lately - out of the corner of her eye. He hadn't been completely avoiding her, but he always seemed to be busy doing something else aside from spending time in the same room with her. It wasn't done in a rude way. Instead, it almost came off as though Mencheres wanted to avoid her but couldn't bring himself to totally stay away. The motivation behind his there-but-not-quite-there presence pricked her curiosity. Was this admittedly far older and sophisticated Master vampire actually feeling awkward about what had happened between them?
"Take the egg out," Gorgon prompted her.
Kira put three fingers around that cool oval shape, pressing as softly as she could to lift it. The egg trembled but didn't explode. Think of Tina, she urged herself. This wasn't an egg; it was her little sister's hand, and she was going to clasp it without hurting her when she saw her again . . .