“So you still don’t remember anything?” Cam asked when they’d cleared one particularly nasty snarl. “No. Nothing.”
“And yet you believe her? Have you even started the process for paternity testing yet?”
“It doesn’t matter what happened before. I love her now,” Rafael said quietly.
There was dead silence in the car. Only the sounds of traffic and car horns penetrated the thick silence inside the car.
“And the resort deal?” Cam finally asked.
“There has to be something we can work out. It’s why I’m here. We have to fix this, Cam. My future depends on it.”
“How nice of you to be so concerned about your future,” Cam muttered. “Nothing about the rest of ours, though.”
“Low blow, man,” Rafael bit out. “If I didn’t give a damn about you and Ryan and Dev, I wouldn’t be here. I would have just called off the whole damn thing and told all the investors to go to hell.”
Cam shook his head. “And you wonder why I’ve sworn off women.”
“Planning to play for the other team?” Rafael asked for a grin.
Cam shot him the bird and glowered. “You know damn well what I mean. Women are good for sex. Anything more and a man might as well neuter himself and be done with it.”
Rafael chuckled. “You know I look forward to the day that I get to shove those words down your throat. Even better, I can’t wait to meet the woman who does it for you.”
“Look, I just don’t understand what’s changed. Four months ago you were on top of the world. You got what you wanted. And now suddenly it’s not what you want.”
They pulled to a stop in front of Rafael’s apartment building. Rafael turned to Cam. “Maybe what I want has changed. And how the hell would you know that I got what I wanted four months ago? I didn’t see you until I woke up in a hospital bed after the plane crash.”
Cam shook his head. “You called me the day before you left. You were all but crowing. Said you’d closed the land deal that day and that next you were going to be on a plane back to New York. I asked if you’d had a good vacation since you’d been gone for four damn weeks. You told me that some things were worth the sacrifice.”
Rafe went still. Suddenly it was hard to get air into his lungs. His chest squeezed painfully as pain thudded relentlessly in his head.
“Rafael? You okay, man?”
Still images flashed through his head like photos. The pieces of his lost memory shot out of a cannon. Random. Out of order. It all hurled at him at supersonic speed until he was dizzy and disoriented.
“Rafe, talk to me,” Cam insisted.
Rafael managed to open the car door and stumble out onto the curb. He put a hand back toward Cam when his friend would have gotten out, too.
“I’m fine. Leave me. I’ll call you later.”
He hauled his luggage out of the trunk and then walked mechanically toward the entrance. His doorman swung open the glass doors and offered a cheerful greeting.
Like a zombie, Rafael got into the elevator, clumsily inserted his card and nearly fell when the elevator began its ascent.
Memories of the first time he saw Bryony. Making love—no, ha**g s*x with her. The day at the closing agent’s office when Bryony had signed over her land and he’d given her the check. Of the day he’d told her goodbye.
It all came back so fast his head spun trying to catch up.
He was going to be sick.
The elevator doors opened and it took him a full minute to force himself inside his apartment. Leaving his luggage inside the doorway, he staggered toward one of the couches in the living room, so sick, so devastated that he wanted to die.
He slumped onto the sofa and lowered his head to his hands.
Oh, God, Bryony would never forgive him for this.
He couldn’t forgive himself.
“Mamaw, would it really be so terrible if they built a resort here?” Bryony asked quietly as the two women sat on Mamaw’s deck.
Mamaw glanced over at Bryony, her eyes soft with love. “You’re taking on too much, Bryony. You have to decide what’s best for you. It’s not your responsibility to make the entire island happy. If this resort is coming between you and Rafael, you have to decide what is the most important to you. Is it making everyone here happy? Or is it being happy yourself?”
Bryony frowned. “Am I being unreasonable to hold him to a promise he made? It seemed so simple then, but apparently he has business partners—close friends of his—and investors counting on him. This is how he makes his living. And I’m asking him to give all that up because we’re all afraid that our lives will change.”
Mamaw nodded. “Well, that’s something only you can answer. We’ve been lucky for a lot of years. We’ve been overlooked. Galveston gets all the tourists. We stay over here and no one ever comes calling. But we can’t expect that to last forever. If Rafael doesn’t build his resort, someone else will eventually. We’d probably be better off if Rafael builds it because he at least has met the people here and he knows where they’re coming from. If some outsider comes in, he won’t give a damn about you or me or anyone else here.”
“I don’t want everyone to hate me,” Bryony said miserably.
“Everyone won’t hate you,” Mamaw said gently. “Rafael loves you. I love you. Who else do you want to love you?”
Suddenly she felt incredibly foolish. She closed her eyes and slapped her head to her forehead. “You know what? You’re right, Mamaw. It’s my land. Or it was. Only I should have the right to decide who I sell it to and what they do with it. If the other people here wanted things to remain the way it was so badly then they could have banded together to buy the land. It was okay when they didn’t have to foot the tax bill. They were more than happy to tell me what I could or couldn’t do with my own land.”
Mamaw chuckled. “That’s the spirit. Get angry. Tell them to piss off.”
“Mamaw!”
Her grandmother laughed again at Bryony’s horrified expression.
“You’ve tied yourself in knots for too long, honey. First you were upset that he left. Then you were convinced he left you for good. Then you found out you were pregnant and you grieved for him all over again. Then he came back and you were happy. Don’t give it up this time. This time you can do something about it.”
Bryony leaned forward and hugged her grandmother. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, my baby.”
“Don’t think I’m not going to turn these words back on you about Silas.”
Her grandmother laughed and pulled away. “You leave Silas to me. He knows I’ll come around sooner or later and he seems content to wait until I decide to quit making him miserable. I’m old. Don’t begrudge me my fun.”
“I don’t want to be away from you. I want you to see your great-grandchild when he’s born.”
Mamaw sighed in exasperation. “You act like we’d never see each other anymore. Your Rafael is as rich as a man can get. If he can’t afford to fly you to see me, then what good is he? You should ask for a jet as a wedding present. Then you can go where you want and when you want.”
Bryony shook her head. “You’re such a mess. But you’re right. I’m just being difficult because I hate change.”
Mamaw squeezed her hand. “Change is good for all of us. Never think it isn’t. It’s what keeps us young and vibrant. Change is exciting. It keeps life from getting stale and predictable.”
“I suppose I should call Rafael and tell him to go ahead with the resort. It’ll be such a load off him I’m sure.”
“Better yet, why don’t you get on a plane and go see him,” Mamaw said gently. “Some things are better said in person.”
“I can’t leave you. I promised the doctor—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Silas over to drive you to the airport. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll have Gladys come over and stay with me until Silas comes back.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Mamaw said in exasperation. “Now get on the internet and figure out when the first available flight is to New York.”
Twenty
Bryony got into the cab and read off the address to the driver. She was nervous. More nervous than she’d ever been in her life. How ridiculous was it that she had to get Rafael’s address from the papers from the sale of the land. She hadn’t known. It hadn’t been covered in ordinary conversation.
She was truly flying solo because Rafael hadn’t answered his cell phone or his apartment phone. A dreaded sense of déjà vu had taken hold but she forced herself not to descend into paranoia. He had every reason the first time not to answer her calls given that he was in the hospital recovering from serious injuries.
Still, old feelings of helplessness and abandonment were hard to get rid of and the more times she tried to call with no response, the more anxious she became.
The ride was long and streetlights blinked on in the deepening of dusk. The city took on a whole different look at night. It seemed so ordinary and horribly busy during the day. People everywhere. Cars everywhere. Not that there wasn’t an abundance of both at night, but the twinkling lights on every building lit up the sky and gave the skyline a beautiful look.
When the cab pulled up in front of Rafael’s building she got out, paid the fare and then stood staring at the entrance. She shivered. Of course she’d forgotten a coat. It still hadn’t been ingrained in her that while it was warm where she lived, it was cold in other places. And she’d been in such a hurry to get to Rafael, she hadn’t bothered with more than an overnight bag and a few necessities.
She started toward the door when a man brushed by her. She frowned. He looked familiar. Ryan? One of Rafael’s friends. Ryan Beardsley. Maybe he could at least get her inside since Rafe wasn’t answering his phone.
“Mr. Beardsley,” she called as she hurried to catch him before he disappeared inside.
Ryan stopped and turned, a frown on his face. When he saw her, the frown disappeared but neither did he smile.
“I don’t know if you remember me,” she began.
“Of course I remember you,” he said shortly. “What are you doing here? And for God’s sake, why aren’t you wearing a coat?”
“It was warm when I left Texas,” she said ruefully. “I came to see Rafael. It’s important. He hasn’t been answering his phone. I need to see him. It’s about the resort. I wanted to tell him it was okay. I don’t care anymore. Maybe I never should have. But I don’t want him to mess things up for you or his investors or his other friends.”
Ryan looked at her like she was nuts. “You came here to tell him all that?”
She nodded. “Do you know if he’s home? Have you heard from him? I know he’s busy. Probably more so now than ever, but if I could just see him for a minute.”
“I’ll do you one better,” Ryan muttered. “Come on. I’ll take you up to his apartment. Devon should already be here. We haven’t heard from him since he arrived.”
Bryony’s eyes widened in alarm.
“Now don’t go looking like that,” Ryan soothed. “Cam dropped him off and he was fine. He’s probably just busy trying to dig himself out of this mess he’s gotten himself into.”
He took Bryony’s arm and tugged her toward the door.
“What the hell have you done to yourself?” Devon asked in disgust.
Rafael opened one eye and squinted, then made a shooing gesture with his hand. “Get the hell out of my apartment.”
“You’re shit-faced.”
“I always said you were the smart one in this partnership.”
“Mind telling me what prompted you to tie one on when you should be salvaging a business deal you seem determined to flush down the toilet?”
“I don’t give a damn about the resort. Or you. Or anyone else. Get lost.”
Rafael closed his eye again and reached for the bottle he’d left on the floor by the couch. Damn thing was empty. His mouth felt like he’d ingested a bag of cotton balls and his head ached like a son of a bitch.
Suddenly he was jerked off the couch, hauled across the floor and slammed into one of the armchairs. He opened his eyes again to see Devon’s snarling face just inches from his own.
“You’re going to tell me what the hell is going on here,” Devon demanded. “Cam said everything was fine when he picked you up. Then suddenly you go radio silent and I come up here to check on your ass and you’re so liquored up you can’t see straight.”
Pain splintered Rafael’s chest, and worse, shame crowded in from every direction. He’d never been so ashamed in his life.
“I’m a bastard,” he said hoarsely.
Devon snorted. “Yeah, well, what else is new? It never bothered you before.”
Rafael lunged to his feet, gathered Devon’s shirt in his fists and got into Devon’s face. “Maybe it bothers me now. Damn it, Devon, I remember everything, okay? Every single detail and it makes me so sick I can’t even think about it.”
Devon’s eyes narrowed but he made no move to remove Rafael’s hands from his shirt. “What the hell are you talking about? What do you remember that’s so bad?”
“I used her,” Rafael said quietly. “I went down there with the sole intention of doing whatever it took to get the land. And I did. God, I did. I seduced her. I told her I loved her. I promised her whatever she wanted to hear. All so I could make this deal happen. And it was all a lie. I left there with the intention of never going back. I had what I wanted. The sale was closed. The paperwork was filed. I had won.”