"We had the best family ever, and I ran away from it."
"You're a good person, Sarah. Don't let any shrink tell you otherwise."
"Any good in me it was born and grew in this house. We had the best parents ever."
"Ma's gone, Sarah. She's not coming back. She forgave you. You must know that. Now you have to forgive yourself."
I nodded in agreement. "I know but the dreams are still there, awful dreams, of when Dad died, and Mom looking for me to come back."
"Doesn't your head doctor help any?"
"Some, I guess. He's fixated on guilt and punishment. Like when we were young."
Suzie became thoughtful. "The doctor's right, to a point. When we'd get it as a kid it hurt like hell but then it was over."
"Too bad we're not young anymore."
"No, we're not but I still remember the hair brush. It's in a bureau drawer in the spare bedroom."
"I keep telling the doctor I'm not a child; I'm an adult."
Suzie took a deep breath and a long swallow of beer. "We're still kids, in some ways, or at least we want to be."
I began to cry. Maybe it was the beer or maybe the memories. Suzie cried too. "God, I miss those days," she said. "It was so much easier when we were young."
"Karen brings it all back to me," I said. "Sometimes I wish I were a kid again."
"All we can do now is pretend and remember."
"It's great talking to you Suzie, as much as being a kid again."
Suzie looked me in the eye. "I love you too," she added, "enough to bury the cat."
Ben and Karen returned just as we hurriedly wiped away our tears. We joined them in the parlor. Ben left again, off to pick up basketball tickets for a game he would attend later in the week.
"What did you do while we were gone?" Karen asked as we settled.
"We did some serious childhood reminiscing," Suzie said.
"You two had such a great time here!" Karen said. "I bet you didn't want to grow up, like Peter Pan."
"Are you kidding?" Suzie said. "I practically had my bags packed at your age!"
"Why? You had so much fun; it was a great family."
"Don't get me wrong, overall, I have no complaints about my childhood but I was ready to move on."
I piped up. "Suzie wanted to get going; to where the boys were."
"That too," my sister laughed. "But not everything that went on when we were growing up was ice cream and candy."