"Karen never talks to me about Carol either. If I raise the subject, she cuts me off. It's only recently she mentioned the woman, but she didn't reveal much. What makes you think her mother was . . . not nice? The way she took her own life?"
"There's that, but I'm inclined to think she may have taken advantage of the young child's love and goaded her to practically worship her. I see no evidence Carol North returned that love although that's pure speculation."
"What caused you to feel that way?"
"While Karen refuses to discuss her mother directly, she will answer questions about her early childhood. She talked about being dressed up and paraded out before company. Carol praised her to the hilt in public but, I gather, she criticized her out of sight of others including her father. It forced Karen to try harder but it's my feeling she received few positive responses from the woman. Nearly every other childhood memory I could dredge out of Karen involved hired help, and few of them were pleasant. There were rare outings with her father, mostly after Carol died. Those produced the only fond memories she related."
"In spite of Carol's callous treatment, Karen still loved her."
"I can see that in Karen's reluctance to love you, or at least tell you so. It's similar to when someone loses a beloved spouse and later becomes attracted to someone else. They may be unwilling to allow their emotions to come forth, out of fear they are being somehow unfaithful to the memory of their deceased loved one. Oftentimes they force themselves to build up the deceased far higher than reality and use it as an excuse not to commit to a new loving relationship, a relationship they might once again lose."
The doctor's words made sense. They enforced my determination to allow Karen as much time as she needed to sort out her feelings. I was committed to be there for her. It made me sad Karen's early life was so unhappy but I was doubly glad I was at least partly responsible in making her present life so memorable.
"If Paul and Carol were openly at odds with one another that conflict must have been troubling to Karen," I speculated.
"I feel everything goes back to her relationship with her mother, even more so than the trauma of the woman's death." He looked up at me. "Karen is a brave and wonderful child and incredibly resilient. I just wonder what emotional burden she continues to carry."
Before I could express my feelings, he moved on, asking me why I relied so much on my childhood in raising Karen and Timmy.