"Did he strike you in anger?"

"No!" I was quick to answer. "It wasn't anything like when Paul struck Karen. This was agreed upon punishment and he was carrying it out. We both realized it was . . . unpleasant; god, it was so much more!"

"Really?"

"Yes! It wasn't a swat and a hug; it was the real thing and we knew we deserved it. But it was necessary."

"Why?"

"Because of my misdeed; what I did and what I deserved for doing it. It was his job; his duty."

"How did you feel?"

"You keep asking that! And I keep answering it! How the ef do you think I felt? I hurt like hell and yelled my head off! It hurts like a son of a bitch!"

"No. I mean how did you feel afterwards. Did you hate him?"

"No. Of course not. Stop making him into a bastard for doing it. I knew I got just what I deserved. After he'd finished, he'd hug me, and hold me and so would my mother. That was the end of it. He'd tell me he loved me and we'd go in and eat supper, as soon as I'd composed myself. Sure it still hurt, at least for a while, but once it was over, it was forgotten. Nothing more would be said. Life went back to normal immediately."

"That's very interesting."

"I'm glad you thought so," I said, perturbed to have spilled my childhood guts and embarrassed myself, to no apparent avail. I rose to leave. My time was up. He seemed in deep thought as I left his office, without so much as a nod in his direction.

Paul was waiting with a limo at our front steps when I arrived home. I barely had time to kiss the kids good bye and tell them, my niece Maureen and her children included, that I loved them all before we were off.

"More than four days in New York?" Maureen called, reminiscent of her mother Suzie as we rode away.

If the doctor put me in a foul mood, Paul quickly resurrected the happy Sarah with a glass of champagne and a long and fervent kiss. We weren't even to the airport yet and the fun and games had started!

While I worshiped my time with my family, spending four days alone with the man I loved was heaven on earth. I let him spend without censure and we stayed in a 'hang the price' Manhattan suite that overlooked Central Park. We'd lie in bed and hear the clomp of the horse's hoofs as they ferried tourist in carriages around the park. We later strolled there ourselves. I loved the city and the life it breathed.




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