"She practically raised him. Carol was an absentee mother. Because of her illness," he added.
Life skipped along at its hectic pace, but more regimented with the start of school. With the children out of the house; half days for Timmy, I had less excuse not to put in more time at my wedding-present toy store. While Paul was traveling less, we had our evenings and weekends together as a family but I was resolved to develop my own outside interests. It helped too, to keep my mind clear and fight off my guilt and depression. Besides, the toy store was fun.
Even when no customers were about Emma Peck was there to keep me on my toes. I loved waiting on the children customers who, for the most part were well behaved. The store held a treasure trove of educational toys and games which attracted me to the emporium on my first visit. I tried conscientiously to learn each and every game, puzzle and activity. I was becoming adept at juggling and twirling, but never quite as talented as Emma Peck.
Karen displayed less enthusiasm than her brother for being in the store. She was a tad too old for much of the merchandise but would sometimes help Cathy Chatzky, our part time clerk. Timmy, on the other hand, would spend as much time there as I allowed. After his half-day kindergarten class I'd pick him up and he and I and Woof would often spend the rest of the afternoon in the store. On days when I had errands or my Wednesday appointment with Dr. Mason, either Emma or Cathy was more than happy to babysit. Both looked forward to Timmy's visits. Woof, our dog, became a toy store fixture. His placid disposition was just the right temperament for the young customers. He always accompanied me when I worked.
At times, my world seemed to revolve around my two children, but Paul and I had a marvelous relationship. We loved each other unquestionably and reveled in each other's company. Our sex life was robust and intimate with each of us on the same wave length as if we were one-person. While our active household allowed little time alone, we'd play games and sneak away to hidden corners like young lovers. In addition to our late night copulation, we'd feign private meetings in Paul's closed door den or a trip to the attic, ostensibly to clean it up. We were like two kids, frantic for each other.
Picture this: A healthy, fairly attractive woman, around forty who lives with a kind and caring husband who loves her as dearly as she loves him. They have two beautiful children; own a large, well-decorated home and two new cars. She and her husband are financially very well set. She has a job she enjoys where she can come and go as she pleases and delegates any unpleasant chores to someone else. If a design for happiness were drawn, it might be my life. So why am I spending yet another Wednesday afternoon seeing Dr. Jacob Mason, Psychologist?