“Don’t be such a bitch.”
I smiled at that. He was just going to change the subject so we’d argue about something else. That always used to be his tactic – diversion.
“You have no money so you can’t pay my child support, yet you can afford to go out drinking with friends when you’re supposed to be sick?”
“What do you want me to say? What will make this better? What can I do to prove to you that I love you?” he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
“I don’t want you to prove it to me. You had your chance, hundreds of them, in fact, and you blew every single one of them. You don’t get any more chances with me. I’m dating an adorable guy who is nothing like you, a guy that just enjoys spending time with me and DJ. He doesn’t make me feel worthless like you used to. Nate is nothing like you.”
This was one of those moments that I’d had plenty of in the last three years that we’d been broken up, the moments where you look at the person in front of you and think: Did I really fall in love with that?
“All guys are the same, you said it once yourself. All guys are lying, cheating, scumbags. These rose tinted glasses will fall off eventually and you’ll see him for what he is. He’s the same as the rest of us, a guy just after a quick thrill with a sexy girl,” he stated confidently.
I really used to believe that statement. There were only two exceptions to that rule in my book – my dad, and Ashton. But now there was Nate too. I had faith in him because he was a beautiful person, and if he decided in a few weeks, or months, or even years, that I wasn’t good enough for him, then I’d smile and thank him for the incredible time he’d graced me with. One thing I knew for sure was, Josh needed to get the hell out of my sight before I smashed my fist into his face.
“Just leave, and don’t ever come back,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak.
“No!” he cried, shaking his head.
I couldn’t hold my anger anymore. Everything built up inside me, all the hurt from years ago, the lying and the cheating. But the thing that made me the angriest was that, for about three minutes, he had made me doubt Nate. I hated Josh for that. I felt like a horrible girlfriend because of those three minutes, I shouldn’t have doubted him, even for a second.
“Just get the hell out!” I screamed, shoving on his chest, trying to get him towards the door.
He made an angry growling sound in the back of his throat and kind of threw himself at me, his hands gripping the sides of my face as his lips crashed onto mine. I gasped from the shock of it and ripped my face away from his. As an involuntary reflex, my knee jerked upwards into his groin. Instantly, he groaned and let go of me, bending over and cupping his balls as he looked at me hatefully.
“If you don’t get the hell out of my apartment, right now, then I’m calling Nate to come and remove you. He’s working today so I’m pretty sure he’ll come with his gun attached to his hip,” I threatened.
Josh laughed breathlessly and shook his head. “We’re not done talking.”
I sighed and turned, grabbing my cell phone from the side, praying that this would be one of the days that Nate doesn’t get called out on a job. If he didn’t answer, or couldn’t come, then I was calling Ashton. The phone only rang a couple of times.
“Well hello there, little hottie girlfriend,” Nate purred.
I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. He wouldn’t have done anything, there had to be some sort of explanation for him going to the bathroom with that Emma girl, there just had to be.
“Nate, can you come to my place? Right now, please? It’s important. I need your help with something,” I said quickly. I heard a muffled reply, but the phone was ripped out of my hand before I could make out the words. I turned and scowled at Josh as he shook his head and angrily ended the call. He tossed my phone over the back of the sofa, where it immediately started blasting Bruno Mars, so I knew it was Nate calling me back.
“I said we’re not done talking! Damn it, what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just give me another chance?” Josh snapped, frowning angrily.
“You don’t deserve one!” I shouted. “You and I are over; there’s nothing more to say.”
“You really are a bitch, Rosie. You trap me with a kid all those years ago, ruin my life, then make it out like it’s my fault?” he spat.
My anger built. “You think I wanted to get stuck with you in my life? You think I planned to have a child with you? I knew what you were like when we got together. You were just a bit of fun with the bad boy, I never expected to get pregnant, but that’s just how it worked out. Trust me, if I was going to trap someone on purpose I would have chosen someone a hell of a lot better than you!” I needed to get him out of here, I was losing it. I hardly ever got angry but he just seemed intent on pushing my buttons today.
“Yeah well I didn’t want to be saddled with a damn kid at twenty! You should have just aborted him and saved us both the effort,” he replied tersely.
Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the vase of flowers that Nate had bought me, and threw it at Josh as hard as I could. He gasped and ducked, so the thing flew over his shoulder and smashed against the wall, the glass shattering everywhere. My ears were ringing with anger at his words. ‘You should have aborted him to save us both the effort’. I was so angry that I wanted to kill him; I literally wanted to rip him to shreds.
“Get the hell out of our lives!” I screamed, as I grabbed the things off the side and threw them at him one by one: photo frames, china figurines, the TV remote, a candle and a bowl of potpourri all smashed against the wall as I completely lost control of myself. I growled in frustration as I looked at the bare side. Luckily for him I was out of things to throw anyway. “I hate you. I hate you so much! Just get out of our lives; I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m withdrawing your visiting rights to DJ. You don’t get to see him anymore because you’re a waste of clean air!”
He laughed and rolled his eyes. “You need me.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, hating that his statement was true. I did need him, but I’d figure something out. Enough was enough now, I couldn’t take this anymore of his let downs.
“I’ll cope.”
He smirked confidently and crossed his arms over his chest. “You can’t do that anyway. I have legal rights. As much as you might want to enforce that little rule, you can’t,” he countered.
I sighed in frustration knowing that was true. “Why would you even want to see him anyway? You just said that I should have gotten rid of him because he’s too much effort for you. Well, I’m giving you an out, Josh. You can stop the money, go out with your friends when you want, no responsibilities. Just leave us the hell alone,” I whispered, feeling frustrated tears roll down my face as I slumped onto the sofa. I put my head in my hands and cried. Why did everything always have to be like this? Why did my life always have to be so hard?
“I don’t want that, bunny. I just want to be there for you, both of you,” Josh replied, sitting down next to me, rubbing my back. I didn’t even have the energy to push him off. I just sat there and cried, wallowing in self-pity. I hadn’t cried like this for a long time, I used to cry myself to sleep like this every night, but since Nate, I just didn’t feel the need to anymore.
“Rosie, just one more chance, please?” he begged.
I heard the front door open, glass moving on the floor where the door obviously moved it around when it opened. “Shit! Rose? What’s happened?” Nate practically shouted, as he ran into the lounge with wide eyes, taking in the mess that was all over the floor.
I sniffed and stood up, moving away from Josh. I stepped to Nate’s side and gripped his hand, not answering his questioning eyes as I turned back to Josh. “Leave, now,” I ordered, clenching my jaw tightly.
Josh sneered at Nate with a look of pure hatred as he stood up. “He’s just like me, Rosie. Sooner or later you’ll see that I was right and you’ll come crawling back.”
Nate’s body stiffened against mine before he took a step towards Josh. His whole posture was different, threatening, more like what I would imagine SWAT Nate to look like. He was actually a little scary looking as he glared at Josh.
“I don’t know what’s going on in here, but I think you should leave like she’s asked,” Nate said calmly, nodding towards the door. Josh’s eye twitched at the threat in Nate’s voice. He stood his ground for a couple of seconds before turning and stalking off through the door, slamming it behind him, making it shake on its hinges a little from the force of it.
Nate turned back to me and frowned. “What’s happened in here? Did he hurt you? Did he do this?”
I laughed humourlessly and shook my head. “I did this actually,” I admitted sheepishly. His frown deepened as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. His lips pressed against the top of my head softly and I melted against him, closing my eyes and breathing him in.
“Stripes, what happened? Are you okay?” he whispered, trying to pull back. I tightened my arms around his waist, not letting him put an inch of space between us. I just needed him to hold me for a few seconds before I could let him go. “Rosie, you’re scaring me. What was he doing here? Why did he say that I was like him. I just… what? I don’t understand.”
I sniffed and pulled back. I really didn’t want to do this, but I just had to. If I hadn’t been hurt all those years ago, then I would have complete faith in him, but after Josh I just needed to look in his face and ask the question. His eyes tightened as he looked at me worriedly, obviously having no clue what was going on.
“Nate, last night when you were out,” I started, swallowing loudly. He nodded encouragingly, cupping my face as he wiped my tears with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry that I have to ask you. You probably think I’m a terrible girlfriend because I have to ask, but I promise I’ll believe whatever you tell me. I just need you to tell me,” I whispered.
“Rosie, what?” he asked, bending his knees so we were on the same level. His blue eyes were locked onto mine, and I hated myself because I had to ask.
“Did you cheat on me with that Emma girl?”
A look of complete and utter shock crossed his face; his eyes scanned my face as if he was looking at a crazy person. At his reaction, my body instantly relaxed. I didn’t even need him to answer the question; his shocked and horrified expression was enough for me. He didn’t do anything, I should have known.
“What the hell? Where did that come from? No! Of course I didn’t!” he cried, shaking his head fiercely.
I smiled apologetically. “I’m so sorry I had to ask, it’s just that Josh said that he saw you out, and showed me a picture of you and Emma going into the bathroom. He said you two were…” I trailed off, shaking my head.
“That lying son of a bitch! I swear to you I didn’t, Rosie. Please believe me. I wouldn’t,” he promised.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, clamping myself to him tightly. “I believe you. I shouldn’t have asked. I knew you wouldn’t do that, but he just kept talking and talking, telling me that all men were the same, and I guess I doubted you for a minute. I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for that, Nate,” I whispered. Big fat tears were rolling down my cheeks because of how awful I felt. I shouldn’t have doubted him at all, it made me feel like a terrible person.
He blew out a big breath and closed his eyes. “Don’t apologise, I know why you asked, and it’s okay. I promise you that nothing happened, I swear. Emma’s boyfriend cheated, and she was upset. We were just talking, Rose, I promise.”
I gulped and buried my face into the side of his neck. Breathing deeply, I took in lungful’s of that manly Nate Peters scent that just made me feel like I was the luckiest girl in the world. I hated Josh so much, the things he’d said tonight just made me despise him, the things about Nate, the thing about aborting DJ. I could hear his words swirling around and around in my head, making me feel slightly sick.
“Thank you for coming over. Will you get into trouble for leaving work?” I asked, closing my eyes as he planted little kisses on the side of my head.
“Nah, I’m on call so if they need me then they’ll call. And of course I’d come over, you’re my girl.” He kissed my forehead softly; his lips felt so nice against my skin that a little moan escaped my lips.
As I pulled back to look up at him, my heart sped up, like it always did when he was around. Nate just seemed to evoke some magic reaction in me that made me feel like I was a little girl again. He was just so incredible sometimes that it was almost hard to accept.
I smiled and looked down at our hands, feeling completely and utterly happy again. Now all I had to hope was the Josh just stayed the hell away from us, and I needed to get my butt in gear and find another job. Suddenly, I noticed that he was wearing some sort of black vest thing. I frowned and looked at it again. On the left hand side of it, I spotted a little white stitched label on his chest. S.W.A.T Officer Peters. My eyes widened as I realised that he’d come to my apartment in his uniform. I pressed my chest against his, feeling my excitement bubble up inside my slutty body, as little uniform fantasies immediately started playing in my head.
“Do you have a little time before you have to go back, Officer Peters?” I purred, running my nose up the side of his jaw as I hooked my fingers in the side of the vest, gripping fistfuls of the rough material. All thoughts of Josh, smashed possessions and second jobs were gone for the moment; the only coherent thought left was my handsome, uniformed boyfriend.