“Yes,” she croaked, her voice all husky and sexy.
Without saying anything else, she pressed her lips to mine making a small whimper as she did it. My heart constricted as I wrapped her tightly in my arms, crushing her body against mine as I stepped forward and pressed her against the wall. I smiled against her lips as her hands gripped the back of my hair, pulling me to her closer, kissing me almost desperately.
The kiss was sweet, but hot at the same time. It made my whole body ache because of how good and right it felt. When the kiss finally broke, I pressed my forehead against hers.
Her big brown eyes opened slowly and locked on mine, they were shining with excitement but fear at the same time. I gulped at the fierce intensity I saw there, it would have scared me a month ago if a girl had looked at me like that, but right now scared was the total opposite of what I was feeling.
“Just one chance,” she whispered, her arms tightening around my neck.
I nodded and smiled, dipping my head and kissing her again. This time her lips curled into a smile against mine. In that moment, I could almost feel the angels smiling down on me. I had another chance, and there was no way in hell I was wasting it.
Chapter Thirteen
~ Rosie ~
With Nate’s mouth pressed against mine, my knees weakened. Luckily though, he was pressing me against the wall otherwise I would have surely sunken to the floor like a quivering mess. His kissing just seemed to set my whole body on fire. One of his cocky little smiles and I was reduced to a silly little schoolgirl again, crushing on the bad boy.
His tongue slid along my bottom lip, and I couldn’t not kiss him back. It was like some magic pull that he seemed to have. It was no surprise to me that he’d had so many girls – he was beautiful. I knew he wouldn’t appreciate that word much, because it wasn’t manly enough, he would have probably preferred something along the lines of ‘ruggedly handsome’, but he was way beyond that. The way his natural blond hair seemed to have a mind of its own and stick up in a sexy, ‘I just got out of bed’ kind of way. The way his piercing blue eyes locked onto mine, and held a confidence, a self-assuredness that said he knew exactly what he was doing to my insides, but at the same time they seemed somehow scared. Maybe he was just as scared as me. I was pretty sure he’d never put himself out there like that before, and in some strange way it made me feel special. I was the one that made him give that little speech, I was the one he was looking at like he wanted to know all of my secrets, I was the one that he was kissing like he wanted to devour my soul.
Instead of opening my mouth to allow him access, I gripped his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down lightly, pulling a little. As a result, his fingers dug into my back as he crushed his groin against my hip. I gulped when I felt how hard he was for me already. The lonely part of my body that hadn’t been touched for way too long, was begging for him to rip my clothes off and give me the Nate Peters special, the full works. My body desperately wanted him to make me fall into oblivion with his name on my lips.
My mind started to wander to all the things he could do to me, what his, obviously skilled, hands would feel like caressing my skin. I could hardly breathe. For a couple of seconds I actually considered allowing myself one night of passion with him, letting myself feel that closeness to someone else. But then I started to panic that I hadn’t been with someone for so long that I might have forgotten what to do. Had I forgotten? When he was kissing me the way he was my body seemed to respond of its own accord, I didn’t need to think… but maybe things had changed since the last time I’d had sex.
Another part of me was terrified of him taking off my clothes and seeing the look on his face when he saw my body for the first time. I was a mother for goodness’ sake; it showed on my body that I’d had a baby. I had a couple of stretch marks on my stomach that, although faded, still were imperfections on my skin. Would he take one look at them and think they were disgusting and a turn off? Josh was the only person I had been with since having DJ. He hadn’t exactly thought they were disgusting, but obviously my body wasn’t enough to keep him interested. I obviously wasn’t woman enough to hold a player like Josh, so what exactly made me think that I was good enough to hold Nate?
Nothing. I didn’t think I was good enough, and that was the problem.
I said I would give Nate one chance though; I just needed to protect my heart from him while I gave him that chance, before he left me anyway, which I knew he would. Problem solved. Rosie and DJ back on their own, back to the hard but uncomplicated life of being a single mother. That didn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy his time and his personality while I was waiting for him to run away from me though.
I traced my finger along his strong jaw as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, nibbling on it gently making him moan breathily. He had slight stubble on his chin, fine little blond hairs. The rough, scratchy feel of his stubble against my finger made me shiver and long to do naughty things to his body. Things that I’d been thinking about doing to him since the first time I met him. Hell, things I’d been dreaming about doing to him for five years, since I saw the photos of Anna’s wedding, with Nate as the best man.
Years ago, I’d seen photos of him standing next to Ashton on the beach, wearing cream pants, a white shirt and a sexy little smile. I clearly remembered stopping at that picture and my mouth watering as I dragged my eyes over Nate’s face. I’d been with Josh at the time, eight months pregnant, but that hadn’t stopped my mind from wondering what Nate’s fingers would feel like trailing down the small of my back, heading lower and lower…
I pulled myself out of the little fantasy I was starting to play in my head. The funny thing was, when I saw that photo of him all those years ago, all I wanted was his body, his touch, his kiss, but now that his body was pressed against mine, as he kissed slowly, sensuously, down my neck, all I wanted was to hear him talk some more.
I gripped my hands in the back of his hair and pulled his mouth back to mine; my brain was too fried to talk right now. He was slowly turning me into a mindless shell, a body that couldn’t think, only feel. I was so turned on that I could barely remember how to breathe. It was like he invaded all of my senses, and I was struggling to differentiate where I stopped and he began.
Nate pulled away from me too soon, way, way too soon. My heart was crashing in my chest with need and desperation for the pent up sexual frustration – that I didn’t even realise I’d been carrying around with me for so long – to finally be relieved. Nate looked at me softly. A little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, not a smirk, a nice smile. The way his eyes seemed to hold a passion, a burning need to match my own, made me tremble from head to toe.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Oh God, is my voice going to work if I try to speak? I’m going to make myself sound like an idiot…
“Just one chance, Nate,” I repeated my earlier words, my voice husky.
He grinned and nodded, brushing his hand across my cheek before pushing a loose curl of hair behind my ear. That one gesture, that one soft little act, was actually more sensuous than the kissing we had just done. My body felt ready to spontaneously combust.
Be strong, Rosie, do not let this player take your heart. Do not let him take your heart…
He rubbed his nose against mine in a little Eskimo kiss, and I couldn’t help the little whimper that escaped my lips.
Don’t let him take your heart…
“Want to watch a movie or something with me?” he asked, slipping his hand down my arm before taking my hand and interlacing our fingers.
I nodded, unable to speak and he stepped away from me. Instantly I missed his closeness. Oh shit, I’m in trouble. I should make him leave before he breaks me irrevocably. He gave me a little tug towards the sofa, and I followed behind him helplessly.
“You have any DVDs?” he questioned, looking at me curiously.
I chewed on my lip. “Not really, they’re still in a box somewhere.” I frowned at the few remaining unpacked boxes that lay around the apartment.
“You’ve been living here three weeks and you still haven’t finished unpacking?” he teased, his fingers playing with mine as he sat on the sofa and pulled me down next to him.
I dragged my eyes over his face. He looked so happy, contented and relaxed that it made me smile, despite my best efforts. I really was in so much trouble. Nate was going to make it extremely hard for me to keep my heart to myself.
“I’m lazy, what can I say?” I answered, trying to sound confident.
He grinned. “I actually like what you’ve done with the place. The cardboard boxes stacked in the corner of each room give it a certain homey charm.”
“I actually put them there on purpose. Those boxes are strategically placed for feng shui reasons. They’re part of my design.” I ignored the little thrill that went through me at the sound of his laugh.
“Maybe you should come design my apartment,” he suggested.
“What’s your place like?” I asked, settling back against the sofa, wanting to hear him talk some more.
He looked a little uncomfortable and seemed to squirm in his seat. “Er, well, I’m not a very good housekeeper,” he answered. I grinned, imagining his place being littered with dirty clothes and plates. I didn’t dare think about what his bathroom would look like.
“Oh, I get it, you’re a slob.”
He laughed and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I’ll tidy up before you come stay with me though, don’t worry.”
Wow, confident much? “What makes you think that I’ll be staying at your place?”
He licked his lips, and I tried not to watch the sweep of his tongue against his kissable bottom lip. Did he know how hot that tiny little movement was? I’d bet the answer to that question was yes.
“When you see what a crap hole my place is, you’ll be begging me to let you sleep there,” he joked, squeezing my hand lightly. “I guess that’s actually a bad choice of words,” he added, nodding, looking a little thoughtful.
I looked at him confused.
“Sleep. It was a bad choice of word; we wouldn’t sleep much because if I had your hot little ass in my apartment, I’m sure that sleeping would be the last thing on my mind.” His eyes wandered over my body lustfully.
“You’re so overconfident. I’m pretty sure that it’ll be the other way around, and you’ll be begging for me to stay at your place,” I flirted, tapping my finger on his nose, trying to look sexy. In reality, I had no idea how to look sexy at all. I’d never known how keep a guy interested. I’d had one serious relationship in my life, and that had ended with me being a single mother, heartbroken and bitter. I had no idea if I was doing or saying the right things to him.
“I’m pretty sure you’re right,” he whispered, kissing me lightly, pulling me closer to him. “So, can I ask you something?” he questioned.
“You don’t need to ask, the answer is no. I’m not into bondage,” I deadpanned.
He laughed and his eyes twinkled as he slapped his leg in mock disappointment. “Dammit.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. There was something about Nate that made me more brash and outgoing. He seemed to make all of my inhibitions fade to the background.
“Seriously though, I had a proper question.”
He looked at me a little uncomfortable, so I nodded for him to continue.
“I was wondering if you would tell me a little more about you. I want to know how you came to be on your own with DJ. You said that you were scared to be a single mother, so I just wondered what made you change that.”
I took a deep breath. I didn’t really want to talk about this, but for some reason, looking at his face as he studied me like this was the most interesting thing he’d ever heard, I found myself telling him the truth that I’d never spoken to anyone about before.
“When Josh and I got back together, I was six months pregnant. I knew he was with other girls. He hid it from me at first, giving me excuses that he was going to a friend’s house to help them or something. He knew that I knew, but because I didn’t say anything he got more and more brash about it; actually to the point where he’d be sitting on the sofa next to me while texting other girls and arranging to meet up. If I ever asked him where he was going, all he’d say was that he’d be home later.”
I sighed deeply, staring down at my hands.
“He actually missed his son’s birth because he was out with some girl. He got to the hospital when DJ was twenty-six minutes old. But, stupidly, I still forgave him.”
I had no idea why I was telling him this personal stuff. I was ashamed of my past, of the person that I was, the girl who let a guy walk all over her, let herself be used and hurt over and over just because she was too weak to be on her own.
Nate’s fingers had tightened on mine, his jaw had clenched. He didn’t say anything though, so I continued.
“I let it go on for a long time because I thought I was better off with him than on my own. I thought that DJ having his dad there was worth me crying myself to sleep at night; I did it for DJ. I would do anything for my son, and I thought having Josh there was what was best for him,” I explained. “On DJ’s first birthday I had a little tea party planned for the evening. My parents came in from Barstow, my sister, Anna and Ashton, and Josh’s family came over too. I made little sandwiches and cupcakes, I got everything that DJ would like, I spent hours slaving in the kitchen to make his first birthday special. I was so excited about it.”
I laughed humourlessly at the memory; the day of my son’s first birthday, memorable for so many reasons, none of them good. It should have been one of the most special days of my life and, in a way, it kind of was, because that was the day I grew a backbone and finally started seeing what an idiot I was being.