Bailey let out a squeal, her eyes already brimming with tears. Jeannine scooped the bottle off the floor, twisted off the cap and took a shot.
“Oh my God, Paige,” Bailey said, wrapping her arms around me, her own protruding belly grazing my knee as she leaned over me. “Wait,” she pulled back, her face going from overjoyed to serious in a blink. “Are you happy? Devastated? You can tell us. It’s okay. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it.” The nervous ramble was comforting in ways I didn’t even realize. Thank God for my girls.
“Are you in there?” Jeannine asked, poking my shoulder after I remained silent for too long.
“I think so,” I said, patting the center of my chest that hadn’t stopped aching since last night.
“Have you told him?” Jeannine asked, setting the bottle on the bar.
“I was going to but then last night happened.”
“What were you going to say?” Bailey asked, resting her hand on my knee.
I shrugged. The first time I noticed I was late I had panicked. I was on birth control, and there was no reason for me to believe it wasn’t performing properly—but there was that one day I’d taken a pill a few hours late. Honestly, when I’d done it, I hadn’t thought I’d be having sex that night, but it was the same night Rory had first taken me to his loft.
A few hours changed everything.
“You’re killing me with the silence, Paige.” Bailey’s eyes were growing more frantic by the second. “What was your initial reaction when you saw the test?”
The mom in her couldn’t help but analyze me, and I loved her for it. A smile tugged at my lips as the memory of the two pink lines as they came into view. “Panic. Terror. But also…” I touched my belly, attempting to feel what I knew I couldn’t possibly feel so soon. “Elation. Hope. I pictured a blue eyed blond boy tearing up my house. I imagined Rory reading to him at bedtime. I saw him sitting on my knee at games like Lettie does with you.” I eyed Bailey, swiping at the tears that pooled in the corner of my eyes. “Being a mom isn’t…wasn’t part of my plan. But neither was Rory. And even though we’re done, I can’t imagine not having this piece of him.”
I looked back and forth between the two girls, begging for guidance.
“Fuck,” Jeannine said, chugging down her own glass of water. “See what happens when you start checking things off a dirty-girl list? You should never have made it.” She chuckled, and the joke broke the tension in my chest.
I laughed and cried and then cried some more.
“What are you going to do with the time off?” Jeannine asked after we’d reeled it in, mostly. She’d stripped off her chef’s jacket and donned the black tank top she wore underneath it. “Finish the list?” She joked again.
“Seriously?” Bailey chided.
“Why not? It got her this far?” She chuckled, and I burst out laughing.
“God you’re evil.” Bailey shook her head, but a smile lit up her eyes as she looked at me. “You could call him,” she said. “Use your family’s jet and whisk him away to the Bahamas.”
“Because that makes sense.”
“I’d do it if I had the time and a man who could keep up with me.” Jeannine leaned her elbows on the bar. “Girl has got a point. Think about it. Nothing but sun and sand and a half naked number seven for a couple of weeks. Plus, you’re not showing yet so you can still pull off a bikini.”
“I can’t. He ended it—”
“Oh bullshit,” Jeannine cut me off. “The guy is pushing you away. Anyone can see that.”
I sighed. “And that isn’t code for I love you. You weren’t there. You didn’t see the way he looked at me. Like I was nothing but a fun challenge he couldn’t say no to.” The truth of the statement stung my chest all over again.
She threw her hands up. “You’re impossible. You love him. He loves you. This can’t be that difficult.”
“It’s true. He was at the house last night, mopey as hell and whining like a puppy,” Bailey said. “I just didn’t know why. But now that I do...well, it all makes sense. He loves you, Paige, no matter what he said.”
“See! Get him!” Jeannine shouted.
I arched an eyebrow at her. I wanted to say that he’d never loved me, that it had been an act all along, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. It had felt too real to be a lie. Perhaps I was lying to myself.
Bailey rolled her eyes. “We can’t all wear the professional-reckless-goddess crown that you do, Nine.”
She snapped her fingers, pointing at me. “She was so close to stealing it too! How many left do you have on the list? Two?”
“Three.” I scooted my empty water glass to her, and she poured a fresh wave for me. “Rory helped me cross off more than just his number.”
“I assumed. After the bathroom incident.” She motioned toward the restaurant’s restrooms, and I blushed. The memory was fresh and real and I could practically feel the man between my thighs. Even after he’d crushed my heart, I still ached for his touch. God, I need to get a grip.
“What bathroom incident?” Bailey squeaked beside me. “What’d I miss?”
“Nothing,” I said. Nothing I needed to think about ever again. The sooner I accepted the reality that Rory didn’t think I was worth fighting for the sooner I could sort through the more important things on my mind—like carrying his child while he didn’t have a clue.
Fuck my life.
“I vote finish it,” Jeannine continued, still on the damn list topic. “If you’re not going to explore the endless possibilities with number seven, at least finish what you started.”
“Good Lord, you won’t let it drop until I do, will you?” I snorted. “You think a major heartbreak and surprise pregnancy would be enough to let a girl off the hook.”
She grinned and shook her head. “Nope. This is why I’m here. I’ve always been the one to push you when you needed it. Now you’ve found a man who can do even better than me, and you’re letting him go?” She tsked me. “The dirty-girl goddess frowns on your lack of follow through.”
“He dumped me!” I shouted, but she didn’t accept it. “Fine.” I smacked my glass down and raised up on my barstool to lean over the bar, grabbing Jeannine around her neck. Before she could blink I planted my lips on hers, crushing them with all the frustration I had pulsing inside me. She wanted me to get my list done? This was number four.