“I apologize, sir, as Lucan said earlier, I only learned of his connection with me after his death. I would have nothing to offer you as far as advice, even the basic rules of this kingdom escape me,” I explained with as an adult voice as I could produce, hoping to convey the idea that I was a responsible, capable grown-up and would not be leered at all night.
Dmitri nodded his head in comprehension and then Kiran swept me out of the room and into the hallway where instead of letting me go, he pulled me tighter to him, his hand holding mine firmly in his grasp as shaken by the dinner, as was I. I let him lead me upstairs; I let him hold my hand. I could feel the hysteria creeping back into my veins, opening the door to the abyss of agony I locked my memories of Amory in and the fears of people like Dmitri.
We walked quickly upstairs and into his bedroom not even acknowledging Kiran's Titans. The door closed, Kiran locked it and then it was just the two of us as if we were running from something. He wasn't, but I knew better than to believe I wasn't.
Kiran turned to me and opened his arms. I hesitated for only a second, only a moment before the pain rang in my ears and my blood pumped with the haunting of the past and the imagined horrors of the future. I ran to his arms, letting him wrap them tightly around me and hold me to him. And then the tears came, tumbling out of me in waves of tortured anguish.
I hated being weak. I hated that he was the only one here and that I trusted him with my sorrow, vulnerability and worst of all guilt. But I couldn't pull away, his arms were too comforting, his touch too soothing. And I couldn't slow the tears; the dam broke and the tears were determined to fall until there was none of them left.
And so I let him hold me and I let him comfort me. But my magic stayed separate. Kiran protected me now against the horror of tonight. While my magic protected my heart against his strong arms holding me impossibly close against his chest, against his hot skin that pressed against my back, and against the gentle sympathy in which he stayed silent without offering advice or comfort. It was the silence I needed. It was the silence that soothed.
And Kiran was the one to give it to me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Question,” Sebastian declared. He barged into Kiran's room unannounced and from the mischievous look he wore he seemed to be feeling very feisty. “Who would you rather be trapped alone with for the weekend? Kiran or Seraphina?”
Kiran smirked from across the room while packing his duffel bag for a guy’s camping expedition. We officially started school next week, in the middle of August and the boys wanted to take full reign of their freedom while they still could. I couldn't even pretend to hide my jealousy. While they were off enjoying the fresh air and uninhibited guy time, I was forced to stay in the castle, under lock and key, surrounded by Titan Guards at all times. And worst of all, my weekend was going to be spent with Seraphina of all people.
Up until now, I successfully avoided ever running into her by basically staying locked up in Kiran's room for a month straight. But Amelia came to me a few days ago begging to let her plan a girl's night while the boys were gone. Since I could never say no to Amelia I reluctantly agreed, praying she didn't include Seraphina. God did not answer that prayer in my favor.
I huffed enviously as the boys strutted around in their camping gear, looking relaxed and anxious for the trip ahead of them. Sebastian wore warm up pants, a Kingsley t-shirt and well-worn hiking boots. His golden brown hair had barely been touched this morning, and his matching eyes sparkled with excitement. Kiran looked nearly identical to Sebastian, except his t-shirt hailed from Briar-Rose, and he had brushed his hair this morning at least. Sebastian's backpack rose above his head and made him look like a model dressed for a camping advertorial rather than an actual camper off to enjoy the Romanian mountainside. I just had to trust that these two spoiled princes knew what they were doing out there in the great wilderness because I couldn't imagine either one of them actually roughing it.
“Well?” Sebastian demanded.
I groaned at his question, wanting to throw something at him. “Neither,” I huffed, and rolled my eyes. When he lifted his brows at me and I could see the wheels turning in his head getting ready to say something smart, I continued quickly, “Although Kiran has only tried to kill me once, so he might be the safer option.”
“When have I ever tried to kill you?” Kiran asked incredulously, looking up at me from a sleeping bag that he magically tightened in order to make it fit inside the narrow carrying-case.
“Uh, India,” I reminded him.
“You can’t be serious! I remember trying to save you in India! And your brother....” Kiran defended himself adamantly.
“Mmm... I remember it differently....” I retorted snidely. “Oh and also Morocco!” I blurted out, feeling as though I won the argument.
“Love, you are wrong about India, but you are dead wrong about Morocco, I was definitely not trying to kill you. If you will be honest with yourself, I think you can remember my intentions,” Kiran implored. He looked at me from across the room with barely hidden desire. I blushed an unforgivable shade of red and turned away from him, remembering that fight. I wanted to pretend that all we did was fight, and that I hadn't given in to him by pulling down to me and pressing my mouth against his. I wanted to convince myself that kiss had only been a ploy to get away from him; but thinking back on it now with more perspective and time in between, that kiss had been goodbye for me. A very passionate goodbye.
“So what you're saying is that you want Talbott and me to take Seraphina camping so that you and Kiran can have a weekend alone together?” Sebastian teased.
I turned around ready to agree to that. I knew how to handle Kiran. Seraphina was a ticking time bomb of inner rage ready to rip my head off at any moment. But when my eyes flickered to Kiran who stood poised above his suitcase waiting patiently for me to answer the question, his eyes smoldering and the corners of his lips turned into an expectant smirk, I quickly changed my mind.
“I'll take my chances with Seraphina,” I mumbled, losing confidence that I knew how to handle Kiran after all. “I am an Oracle for goodness sake; I should be able to contain her crazy!”
“Hey, there's no need to call names!” Sebastian reprimanded me, and for a moment I thought he was actually mad at me.
“Oh, yeah right. I think Kiran can even agree the girl is on the mentally ill side of the debate!” I argued.