“You don’t need to, yet somehow knowing that the future will take me back there, against Ry, has brought the former memories returning.”
“You mean what you experienced all those years ago?”
He nodded.
She felt the depth of his grief then, like a burden that lived in his soul, a constant weight of guilt that he could never quite release. “You believe you could have done something to prevent the massacre.”
“I should have been there.” He laughed bitterly. “But I went to the beach in Grochaire Realm, partying with Quinlan, who is mastyr there, the one you just described, by the way. I should have been at the gorge with my sister and my parents. I could have saved them.”
“And that is the lie you tell yourself that must change.” Davido’s voice rang through the room, startling Bernice who had fallen asleep on Samantha’s shoulder.
Samantha gentled the baby with her hand on her back and the child released a sigh and fell back asleep.
“It’s not a lie.” Ethan stated, more quietly, for the baby’s sake.
“There were a hundred Invictus that night and you would have been the only Guardsman on the ground. You would have died with all the others.”
“If I’d stayed here, where I belonged, then there would have been no such attack.”
“You can’t know that, Ethan, and you torture yourself with unknowns. You’ve robbed yourself of a meaningful life trying to make certain something bad doesn’t happen again. But you’ve curtailed the growth of others as well by not expanding your rule properly because of it.”
“Bullshit. I’ve saved lives.”
“Of course you have. That’s not the point. I’m talking about you and your life, about increasing the responsibilities of those around you who are worthy of greater command. Then, you could enjoy a broader sort of existence. Maybe even have a girlfriend.”
Samantha wanted Davido to back off. She didn’t know why he was biting at Ethan’s heels, so she decided to intrude. “Easy for you to say, Davido. You’re not a warrior.”
He turned to her, his brows lifted in surprise just as his baby’s had been earlier. “There you have me.”
“Exactly. I’m a jewelry designer, but even I know better than to try to discipline an accountant or a waitress on how to improve job performance.”
“Well, well,” his light eyes twinkled. “You have some serious chops, don’t you?” Before she could respond, he turned to Ethan. “Do you agree with Samantha? Has a mere mortal troll been trying to discipline a warrior?”
Ethan shook his head, but he chuckled. “I’m beginning to think that our Samantha will leave none of us alone.”
“That’s not a bad thing and maybe she’s arrived in your life to open your path up. But unlike my wife, I’m going to take sides. I’m with Samantha. She needs to stay in Bergisson and you need to keep guard over her. Let Finn take the lead for a few nights. You’ve been training him for decades. He’s a capable leader and he knows what to do.”
Ethan looked thoughtful. Samantha knew he was processing the vision, Davido’s advice, and her own refusal to budge.
Finally, he met her gaze. “So, you want to stay here?”
“Yes, and hopefully Vojalie will remain as well.” She turned toward her. “I need to learn from you so I can make the best decisions. Are you willing to teach me about my heritage and my gifts?”
Vojalie smiled and nodded. “I’ll stay here as long as you need me.”
Ethan leaned back in his chair, addressing Vojalie. “And do you truly think this is the best course as well?”
“I think the Guildhall will have as many advantages as my own studio in Merhaine. And should Samantha decide at some point to make her home in the realm-world, I would like her to know the Fae Guild inside and out.
“However, I do agree with my husband on one point: You should stick close to her, Ethan, at least tonight. Samantha is just gaining her power and will need your protection, especially from Ry, but not just from him.
“There is an ancient fae power at large, something that I’ve avoided addressing for the past several years because I haven’t known what to do about this entity. But the recent intermittent difficulty with the realm-to-realm communications, as well as the increased Invictus activity and unusual organized strategies, have led me to believe that we have a rogue fae of power at work, more than I can measure, operating against the Nine Realms.
“This person, who feels to me like a woman, would have reason to want Samantha either out of the way or aligned with her. Ry has made his allegiances and his purposes clear. You would do well to be Samantha’s bodyguard for the time being.”
“You truly believe all these things?” Ethan’s eyes narrowed as he drew a deep breath.
“Yes, I do.”
“Why haven’t you spoken sooner? Gerrod mentioned her shortly after Abigail emerged as his blood rose, yet you said nothing.”
“The timing didn’t feel right.”
“And now it does?”
Vojalie nodded.
Ethan turned to Samantha. “I didn’t consider your point-of-view here, and I apologize for that. I wanted you safe so I could pursue Ry, but I can see now that the situation isn’t simple. I’ll do as Vojalie has suggested, I’ll stick close and be your bodyguard. So, what would you like to do tonight?”
Samantha smiled. “I want to explore the Guildhall.”
“Then we’ll do that. In the meantime, I’ll give Mastyr Quinlan a shout. Apparently he needs to get his ass over here since we have a battle building at Sweet Gorge.”
Chapter Six
Ethan watched Samantha gently hand baby Bernice back to Davido. She then excused herself to change her clothes. Vojalie had recommended loose clothing, something all the fae women wore. He knew it was more than a fashion statement, that something about fae-ness and its related powers functioned better when the women were unrestricted, say, by a tight pair of jeans.
For himself, he liked the jeans Samantha wore and his gaze followed her as she left the room. He couldn’t deny the attraction he felt toward her, an almost constant call on his body.
“She is quite beautiful, almost as lovely as my dearest one.” David’s voice held a hint of amusement.
Ethan shook his head as he rose from the table. “I’m trying not to think about it.”
Davido merely chuckled in response.