‘Settle down, Mikey, you’re gonna knock it over.’
Park couldn’t even imagine a turn of events that would have led Eleanor here – but she’d practically dragged him into the garage, and now she was huddled against him. Park still thought maybe they’d kidnapped her. Was he supposed to pay ransom?
‘Talk to me,’ he said to the top of Eleanor’s head. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Her stepdad is looking for her,’ Tina said.
Tina was sitting on the arm of the couch with her legs in Steve’s lap. She took the joint from him.
‘Is that true?’ Park asked Eleanor. She nodded into his chest. She wouldn’t let him pull far enough away that he could look at her.
‘Fucking stepdads,’ Steve said. ‘Motherfuckers, all of them.’ He burst into laughter. ‘Oh, fuck, Mikey, did you hear that?’ He kicked the Camaro again. ‘Mikey?’
‘I have to leave,’ Eleanor whispered.
Thank God. Park backed away from her and took her hand. ‘Hey, Steve, we’re going back to my house.’
‘Be careful, man, he’s been driving around in that shit-colored Micro Machine …’
Park bent to clear the garage door. Eleanor stopped behind him. ‘Thank you,’ she said – he would swear that she was talking to Tina.
This night couldn’t get any weirder.
He led Eleanor through his backyard, then around the back of his grandparents’ house to the driveway, past the spot by the garage where they liked to kiss goodbye.
When they got to the RV, Park reached up and opened the screen door. ‘Go on,’ he said.
‘It’s always unlocked.’
He and Josh used to play in here. It was like a little house, with a bed at one end and a kitchen at the other. There was even a miniature stove and refrigerator. It had been a while since Park had been inside the RV – he couldn’t stand up now without hitting his head on the ceiling.
There was a checkerboard-sized table against the wall with two seats. Park sat on one side and sat Eleanor down across from him. He reached for her hands – her right palm was streaked with blood, but she didn’t seem to be in pain.
‘Eleanor …’ he said. ‘What’s going on?’ He was pleading.
‘I have to leave,’ she said. She was looking across the table like she’d just seen a ghost. Like she was one.
‘Why?’ he said. ‘Is this about tonight?’ In Park’s head, it felt like everything must be about tonight. Like nothing that good and this bad could happen on the same night unless they were related. Whatever this was.
‘No,’ Eleanor said, rubbing her eyes. ‘No. It’s not about us. I mean …’ She looked out the little window.
‘Why is your stepdad looking for you?’
‘Because he knows, because I ran away.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he knows.’ Her voice caught. ‘Because it’s him.’
‘What?’
‘Oh God, I shouldn’t have come here,’ she said. ‘I’m just making it worse. I’m sorry.’
Park wanted to shake her, to shake through to her – she wasn’t making any sense. Two hours ago, everything had been perfect between them, and now … Park had to get back to his house.
His mom was still awake, and his dad was going to be home any minute.
He leaned over the table and took Eleanor by the shoulders.
‘Could we just start over?’ he whispered.
‘Please? I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
Eleanor closed her eyes and nodded wearily.
She started over.
She told him everything.
And Park’s hands started shaking before she was halfway through.
‘Maybe he won’t hurt you,’ he said, hoping it was true, ‘maybe he’s just trying to scare you.
Here …’ He pulled his hand inside his sleeve and tried to wipe Eleanor’s face.
‘No,’ she said. ‘You don’t know, you don’t see how … how he looks at me.’
CHAPTER 49
Eleanor
How he looks at me.
Like he’s biding his time.
Not like he wants me. Like he’ll get around to me. When there’s nothing and no one else left to destroy.
How he waits up for me.
Keeps track of me.
How he’s always there. When I’m eating.
When I’m reading. When I’m brushing my hair.
You don’t see.
Because I pretend not to.
CHAPTER 50
Park
Eleanor pushed her curls out of her face one by one, like she was gathering her wits by hand. ‘I have to go,’ she said.
She was making more sense now, and more eye contact, but Park still felt like someone had turned the world upside down and was shaking it.
‘You could talk to your mom tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Everything might look different in the morning.’
‘You saw what he wrote on my books,’ she said evenly. ‘Would you want me to stay there?’
‘I … I just don’t want you to leave,’ he said.
‘Where would you go? To your dad’s house?’
‘No, he doesn’t want me.’
‘But if you explained …’
‘He doesn’t want me.’
‘Then … where?’
‘I don’t know.’ She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. ‘My uncle said I could spend the summer with him. Maybe he’ll let me come up to St Paul early.’
‘St Paul, Minnesota.’
She nodded.
‘But …’ Park looked in Eleanor’s eyes, and her hands fell to the table.
‘I know,’ she sobbed, slumping forward. ‘I know …’
There was no room to sit at the table next to her, so he dropped to his knees and pulled her onto the dusty linoleum floor.
Eleanor
‘When are you leaving?’ he asked. He pushed her hair out of her face and held it behind her head.
‘Tonight,’ she said, ‘I can’t go home.’
‘How are you going to get there? Have you called your uncle?’
‘No. I don’t know. I thought I’d take the bus.’
She was going to hitchhike.
She figured she could walk as far as the Interstate, then she’d stick out her thumb for station wagons and minivans. Family cars. If she hadn’t been raped or murdered – or sold into white slavery – by Des Moines, she’d call her uncle collect. He’d come to get her, even if it was just to bring her home.
‘You can’t take the bus by yourself,’ Park said.
‘I don’t have a better plan.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ he said.
‘To the bus station?’
‘To Minnesota.’
‘Park, no, your parents will never let you.’
‘So I won’t ask.’
‘But your dad will kill you.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘he’ll ground me.’
‘For life.’
‘Do you think I even care about that right now?’ He held her face in his hands. ‘Do you think I care about anything but you?’
CHAPTER 51
Eleanor
Park said he’d come back after his dad got home and his parents were both asleep.
‘It might be a while. Don’t turn on the light or anything, okay?’
‘Duh.’
‘And watch for the Impala.’
‘Okay.’
He looked more serious than she’d seen him since the day he kicked Steve’s ass. Or since her first day on the bus, when he’d ordered her to sit down. That was still the only time she’d heard him use the F-word.
He leaned into the RV and touched her chin.
‘Please be careful,’ she said.
And then he was gone.
Eleanor sat back down at the table. She could see Park’s driveway from there, through the lace curtains. She felt tired suddenly. She just wanted to lay her head down. It was already after mid-night; it could be hours before Park came back …
Maybe she should feel bad about involving him in all this, but she didn’t. He was right, the worst thing that would happen to him (barring some terrible accident) was that he’d be grounded. And being grounded at his house was like winning the Price is Right showcase compared to what would happen if Eleanor got caught.
Should she have left a note?
Would her mom call the police? (Was her mom okay? Were they all okay? Eleanor should have checked to see if the little kids were breathing.)
Her uncle probably wouldn’t even let Eleanor stay once he found out she’d run away …
God, whenever she started to think this plan through, it all fell apart. But it was already too late to turn back. It felt like the most important thing now was to run, the most important place to be was away.
She’d get away, and then she’d figure out what to do next.
Or maybe she wouldn’t …
Maybe she’d get away, and then she’d just stop.
Eleanor had never thought about killing herself – ever – but she thought a lot about stopping.
Just running until she couldn’t run anymore.
Jumping from something so high that she’d never hit the bottom.
Was Richie out looking for her now?
Maisie and Ben would tell him about Park, if they hadn’t already. Not because they liked Richie, though sometimes it still seemed like they did.
Because he had them on leashes. Like the first day Eleanor came to the house, when Maisie was sitting on Richie’s lap …
Fuck. Just … fuck.
She should go back for Maisie.
She should go back for all of them – she should find a way to fit them in her pockets – but she should definitely go back for Maisie. Maisie would run away with Eleanor. She wouldn’t think twice …
And then Uncle Geoff would send them both right home.
Her mom would definitely call the police if she woke up and Maisie was gone. Bringing Maisie would ruin everything even worse than it was already ruined.
If Eleanor were the hero of some book, like The Boxcar Children or something, she’d try. If she were Dicey Tillerman, she’d find a way.
She’d be brave and noble, and she’d find a way.
But she wasn’t. Eleanor wasn’t any of those things. She was just trying to get through the night.
Park
Park walked quietly into his house through the back door. Nobody in his family ever locked anything.
The TV was still on in his parents’ bedroom.
He went straight to the bathroom and into the shower. He was pretty sure he smelled like every single thing that could get him in trouble.
‘Park?’ his mom called when he walked out of the bathroom.
‘Here,’ he said. ‘Just going to bed.’
He buried his dirty clothes at the bottom of the hamper and dug all his leftover birthday and Christmas money out of his sock drawer. Sixty dollars. That should be enough for gas … probably, he didn’t really know.
If they could just get to St Paul, Eleanor’s uncle would help them figure it out. She wasn’t sure her uncle would let her stay, but she said he was a decent guy, ‘and his wife was in the Peace Corps.’
Park had already written his parents a note: Mom and Dad,
I had to help Eleanor. I’ll call you tomorrow, and I’ll be back in a day or two. I know I’m in huge trouble, but this was an emergency, and I had to help.
Park
His mom always kept her keys in the same place
– on a little key-shaped plaque in the entryway that said ‘keys.’
Park was going to take her keys, then sneak back out the kitchen door, the door farthest from his parents’ room.
His dad got home around 1:30. Park listened to him move around the kitchen, then the bathroom. He heard the door to his parents’ room open, he heard the TV.
Park lay on his bed and closed his eyes.
(There was no chance he’d fall asleep.) The picture of Eleanor was still glowing on the inside of his eyelids.
So beautiful. So peaceful … No, that wasn’t quite right, not peaceful, more like … at peace.
Like she was more comfortable out of her shirt than in it. Like she was happy inside out.
When he opened his eyes, he saw her the way he’d left her in the RV – tense and resigned, so far gone that light wouldn’t even catch in her eyes.
So far gone, she wasn’t even thinking about him anymore.
Park waited until it was quiet. Then he waited another twenty minutes. Then he grabbed his backpack and went through the motions he’d planned in his head.
He stopped at the kitchen door. His dad had left his new hunting rifle out on the table … He was probably going to clean it tomorrow morning. For a minute, Park thought about taking the gun – but he couldn’t think of when he’d use it.
It’s not like they were going to run into Richie on the way out of town. Hopefully.
Park opened the door and was about to step out when his dad’s voice stopped him.
‘Park?’
He could have run for it, but his dad probably would’ve caught him. His dad was always brag-ging about being in the best shape of his life.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ his dad whispered.
‘I … I have to help Eleanor.’
‘What does Eleanor need help with at two in the morning?’
‘She’s running away.’
‘And you’re going with her?’
‘No. I was just going to give her a ride to her uncle’s house.’