As the baby finally started to settle we both sighed in relief; I pushed back on the chair and the recliner kicked out. I reached my right hand over and grabbed CC’s tight, just needing her touch to help calm me. I heard her heart monitor pick up and a small smile played across my face. At least she was responding to me.
5
When I woke up, my whole body hurt. It was almost unbearable, but something was pulling me from my sleep. I tried to open my eyes but they were just too heavy. I tried to concentrate and figure out what was going on, where I was. I felt like there was something gagging me; there was pain in my stomach, chest and right leg, lots of pain. I remember driving; it was really raining hard. There was a bad crash, my car flipping. Someone was there, they were looking into my car; and then there was darkness.
I felt something warm run down my face. I tried to reach up and wipe it away but my arms were too heavy. I heard humming and knew Hunter was here with me, wherever I was.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you go home for a few hours? You could shower, grab some food and try to get some sleep. I’ll stay here with MacKenzie and the baby. They both need you to be strong for them.” I knew that voice, it was my mom’s, but what was she talking about a baby for?
A violent stab of pain hit my head. I was trying desperately not to give back in to the darkness. The humming stopped and Hunter’s voice spoke, “I’m not leaving them, I can’t.”
I heard a little whimper of a cry, and then he went back to humming. I felt so confused. I tried opening my eyes again but they were still too heavy.
I felt someone grab my hand. I tried to squeeze it but didn’t have the strength.
“Oh baby girl.” Mom said, rubbing circles on the back of my hand with her thumb. “You have to wake up, your boys need you.”
My boys, does she mean my brothers? Another flashback came to me. I was on my way to meet Hunter somewhere. Why was I meeting him?
The pain was increasing and the pull into the darkness was becoming too much to fight.
The noises in the room started phasing out, all except for the beeping. The constant beeping.
“Baby girl, if you can hear me squeeze my hand.” Mom said.
Beep.
I tried to squeeze but I just couldn’t.
Beep.
I felt warm fingers touch my face and gently rub from my temple to my jaw and back again. “CC, please open your bright blue eyes for me, baby.”
Beep.
“I need you; I can’t do this on my own.” I heard him sniffle. “He looks just like you. Same little nose, head full of dark curly hair.” He sniffled again. “I love you baby.”
Then there was a long beep and the blackness finally took over.
As I was holding CC’s hand I swear I felt a little squeeze, but a second later all the alarms on the machines started going off. I looked over at Mrs. Cahill with panic in my eyes, what the hell was going on? She had been fine for almost twenty-four hours.
The nurses came running into the room, heads down; avoiding our eyes. Mrs. Cahill and I stood up against the wall so we were out of the way. Little man was flailing his tiny arms and legs; I was trying to do everything I could to keep him calm. I knew exactly how he was feeling though. Lynn came into the room and searched until her eyes found mine, she marched quickly over to us and put her hand on my back, ushering me out of the room. I didn’t want to leave CC by herself but I wasn’t letting the baby go either.
“Lynn, what’s going on? She was doing fine.” I asked, just as Mrs. Cahill came out crying.
“Come on, let’s get you guys into the private waiting room and I’ll fill you in.” She was being way too calm.
Lynn flipped the light switch as we walked in. “Hunter, when did he eat last?”
I looked down at him, still flailing and crying, “Um, a little over two hours ago. I was just about ready to feed him again.”
Lynn went over to the door and called over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back.”
She walked out of the room and Mrs. Cahill came over to me with her hands out. I hesitated for a minute before handing him over to her. She laid his head on her shoulder and started rubbing his back while shushing him, then Lynn returned with a bottle, diaper and wipes. She shook the bottle and put the nipple on, then handed it over to Mrs. Cahill.
“So what happened?” I asked.
“Have a seat.” She pulled out a seat and I sat down. “Hunter,” she sat down next to me with a pained expression. “It seems as though MacKenzie’s heart stopped.”
My whole world stopped dead in its tracks. My heart sank into my stomach and tears pooled in my eyes.
“When I walked by just a second ago they were shocking her heart to get it to start again. From what I heard, they managed to get it going. I think she’s ok. Let them do what they need to do to stabilize her and then I will find out exactly what’s going on. Right now I need you to concentrate on that little man right there.” She pointed over to Mrs. Cahill and the baby in the corner.
I pushed back from the table and hung my head in my hands as the tears flowed down my face. I heard Mrs. Cahill sniffling behind me. I knew I needed to be strong; I took a few deep breaths, wiped my faced and stood up. I looked over at Lynn, nodded and walked over to sit next to my son and his grandmother.
The nurse winked at me, then stood up and made her way out of the room.
Mrs. Cahill wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand. “Hunter, I’m so sorry this is happening. She’s going to be ok. She’s our little fiery, stubborn girl. She has too much in her to just give up without a fight.”
I nodded; I didn’t trust my voice to speak.
Ten minutes later, Mason, Hailey, Jaylinn, Cooper and my mom came into the room. All the girls had tears in their eyes. Mason and Cooper had their heads hung down.
Hailey practically ran over to me and threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her back tightly. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to. Once she calmed down a little she let go, making way for Jaylinn and my mom to do the same thing.
I looked over at Mason who had my son wrapped up in his arms. Cooper had Jaylinn wrapped in his, both looking over Mason’s shoulder.
I looked up at Mason, “Where’s your dad?”
“He stopped at the police station; they found a lead on the car that took off.” He looked over at his mom and then back to me.
“Mom, Dad doesn’t know what’s going on with Kenzie. Do you think we should call him?” Cooper asked.
Mrs. Cahill looked at me and shook her head. “No not yet. Let’s wait a little while longer to see if Lynn comes back in with more information.”