The spell broke, and I realized the man with the phone was on my side of the table, although he seemed to be missing his head. I cursed myself again. I should've tried to save his life somehow but I was enthralled in the horror of the massacre.
Batu bent over the man nearest him. With no more thought than he gave saddling his horse, he began what I assumed was the Mongol method of double-tapping - making sure the enemy was dead by a shot to the head, or in this case, offing his head.
Inching forward, I gripped a knife that had fallen near me. I flinched at the sound of his sword cleaving meat and bone but focused on sawing through my bonds. They came off easily, and I pulled the disgusting gag from my mouth.
I bent over the body of the man with the phone and tugged at his belt to get to the device.
And then I sat back, dismayed.
It wasn't a phone at all. It was a silver box whose front was dented up and back was lacquered, resembling a phone case.
Am I that desperate? I had risked my life and Batu's for … a jewelry box. I hadn't doubted it was a phone, hadn't thought twice about what it was I saw. I lunged after it with the desperation I'd been keeping a close lid on for so long.
I gazed at the dead men around me and blinked back tears. I had been on the verge of breaking down and weeping since Taylor disappeared, but now didn't seem any better of a time than the other moments of weakness.
Batu met my gaze from the corner of the table. "There you are, Moonbeam." He wasn't at all concerned about the carnage or destruction around him.
His calmness and the violence of my surroundings scared me, the way it always did. I rose and turned away, needing air, to flee, to escape him and this world I didn't think I'd ever adjust to.
I can't do this. I started towards the door.
"Do you think it wise to run, lamb?" His voice lowered into a soft growl.
My hand dropped from the doorknob. I braced myself to have another knife thrown at me or for him to grab me.
Neither happened. I remained where I was, about to flip out, but afraid of what he'd do if I did. I was too aware that I caused this massacre because I had mistaken a jewelry box for a phone.
What was wrong with me? One moment, I didn't think I'd want Carter to find me. The next, I was following strangers into a room where no one could hear me scream, chasing some mirage of a phone.