I watched him leave. When he was gone, the tears began. I didn't even know why they appeared or who I cried for, except that I was more scared than I had been in the tent when Batu was ill.
Trying to calm myself, I sat down by the warm fire and did my best to pull some logical reasoning out of my thoughts. I still had the occasional nightmare when I relived the tragic deaths of the people I had met in the Old West. Of them all, Taylor's was the one that plagued me, because I had an indirect hand in it.
Batu wasn't a time traveler or a target to Carter or his enemies. Carter had discussed me moving forward in time a hundred years, not seventy, which meant I never would've met Batu. So it didn't seem likely Batu was on Carter's radar to uncreate the way he had Taylor. Batu was a normal person, one I happened to care about more than I recalled caring about anyone else.
It hit me that I was crying for another reason: because giving my heart to Batu meant I was never leaving here. Even if Carter did find me, I was committing to someone whose world was here. I was therefore choosing never to go home rather than being trapped.
I gazed around at my surroundings. Sorrow was deep within my breast at the prospect of never going home and yet, I'd gradually come to adapt to this place. I might still wear my clothing inside out or on occasion become the center of laughter for the rest of the community, but I was also a part of Batu's clan, a member in every way but one.
Marrying Batu would finish the process. I'd belong here officially, with my new family.
Along with sorrow, a warm emotion bloomed within me as well, one of joy. I would finally have my own family and definite direction to my life. I kind of liked the sound of it, of undoubtedly knowing my place in the world.
And then there was Batu, the most incredible man I'd ever known.
"I can do this," I whispered, calming. "This is my home now."
I didn't feel the sense of resignation I had when I thought I was stuck in the Old West. I wouldn't have to learn to love Batu as I had Taylor, because I already knew I'd finished falling for the warrior brute the first night I slept with him. As confused as I sometimes was about what happened in the eighteen forties, I also understood I'd never been in love with Taylor. Attracted to him, I'd harbored nothing but deep respect and gratitude for the man who rescued me and helped me navigate my first time travel trip.