He withdrew. "I cannot stay now, Moonbeam," he whispered and cupped my face. "The Imperial Court gave me permission to exact revenge upon him for what he did to you."
It took me a moment for my addled thoughts to return to the present. "Oh. That uncle."
He chuckled and rose, headed to the weapons.
I watched him for a moment before his words clicked. After all our days and nights together, I was abruptly yanked back to the reality of the side of him I'd never been comfortable with. I still wasn't certain how to view the violence with which he often committed his routine duties.
"What revenge?" I asked and stood.
"What he did to you, times nine, followed by his death."
What? It was hard for me to believe Batu capable of such a thing after how he treated me. And yet, I recalled thinking the same when I saw him behead and gut people that I couldn't imagine him being gentle with me.
He was both, and I still had no clue how to reconcile the extremes. "Batu, you can't kill him on my behalf," I started, struggling with the return of the confusion that plagued me the first few weeks here.
"It is an obligation, goddess. Duty."
"But it's not right. I don't want anyone else dying on my behalf."
He sat back on his heels from his position sorting through his knives on his knees. His gaze found mine. "This is our world, Moonbeam, and our way."
"Batu, you know I see violence and killing differently than you do. If this is being done on my behalf, then can you not show mercy?"
He rose and approached me, automatically taking me in his arms. "You despise violence and killing, yet they are a part of who I am. Do you despise me as well?"
"No," I said firmly. "You are a good man, Batu."
"This is a good cause. A just cause. If I show him mercy, do you know how many others might step up to try to harm you? Because they, too, see that I will not follow through with my duty if they do?"
I touched his stubble roughened cheek, enamored by him even during such a topic. My heart was hammering, as much out of fear I'd disappoint him as fear for a man who didn't deserve my mercy at all.
But that didn't mean he should be tortured and then murdered.
"I understand your logic," I said slowly. "Do you go into this with no compassion for your uncle? No desire to see him live?"
Batu touched my face with tenderness, studying me. "This gives me no pleasure, and I know it will pain Ghoajin as well. But I must perform this duty. She will understand." He hesitated. "Will you understand, Moonbeam? Or will this come between us?"