Lumpy and Grumpy - the second man who physically pushed back when I stripped off his clothing - were soon both covered with blankets in a similar fashion, giving me unfettered insight into how horrific this disease was.
Holding my mouth, I left and ran beyond the fire, not wanting to upset them when I vomited everywhere. I threw up last night's dinner and then sat back on my heels.
What the hell am I doing? The chances of any of them living were pretty close to zero, and I had absolutely no clue how to help. The moment I thought of Batu, I knew I had to try, though, no matter what the odds. He deserved it. He deserved for me to try to save him the way I hadn't Taylor.
Tossing my head back, I realized it was past noon, and Ghoajin hadn't yet ridden out. I could think of one duty I was dreading that I'd like to give the woman: cleaning Lumpy and Grumpy's bodies.
I wasn't entirely certain I was ready to handle this latest trial yet and remained where I was for several moments, lost in thought and dreading returning to the tent to see the suffering of others.
After a quick breather, I ate a little of the food Suvdin had sent with me and went back to reassess the three ill men. I had never felt quite so helpless before, as if I should know how to help them with my twenty first century knowledge - but didn't have a clue.
I could really use a history chip. Something to tell me how those who survived the plague did so.
With the fire burning off the filth, I sat by Batu and gazed at his strong features and the muscles of his exposed chest. It just wasn't right that someone like him could end up vulnerable and weak under any circumstances.
He was dozing, and I checked his body for signs of the boils. Some were forming on the skin of his upper arms, beneath the skin, dark splotches that looked like bruises but were round and raised.
"You can fight this, Batu," I whispered, troubled.
They all needed food and water. Or maybe, milk and water would go down more easily. Retreating to the horse, I returned with several bladders, half filled with water and the other half with milk.
"Goddess." Batu was awake.
"Drink some of this, Batu."
He accepted one bladder and propped himself on one elbow, drinking obediently. I took it when he was done. His dark gaze remained on me, and I studied his features.
This couldn't be how it ended. This couldn't be how we ended.